The Fertility Mind Podcast
Welcome to my podcast. I share Raw, unfiltered stories of the Infertility world. Throughout the episodes, I share my own success with IVF, and you will hear from my guests about their success in the Fertility world. I will also share tools and techniques of Mindset and Manifestation. I have first-hand experience with how mindset and Manifestation changed the trajectory of my journey. I have since then applied this to every area of my life, and the transformation is beautiful. I know this is just the beginning. This podcast means so much to me because, In 2014, I found myself in the middle of the Fertility world, feeling alone and searching for hope. Everywhere I searched on social media, looking for a connection with others on the same infertility journey, I only found dwindling hope. In 2019, when I entered the Fertility world again, I reached out on social media, but it only seemed worse. It became my mission to spread hope with success stories, have open conversations about medical protocols and create connections. A positive community for others to feel supported, uplifted, and know they are not alone.
The Fertility Mind Podcast
S2 | E25 - F*** Around and Find Out
** Lots of F-Bombs**
Hey, Hey, welcome back!
This episode is jam-packed with being curious and playful and actually trying what I tell you. Flip the concept and say I'm going just F*** around and find out just how powerful you are!
These three essential questions Are so incredibly powerful!
What did I do well today?
What did I learn?
What am I willing to do differently now?
Acknowledging the challenges of infertility and the importance of forgiving past setbacks while celebrating your progress. Through these practices, you can elevate your vibration and create a mindset that welcomes the manifestation of your dreams.
A special announcement about great things in the works comes with incredible creation! There will be no new episodes until mid-September. Be sure to follow me on Instagram for teasers and updates.
In Love, Light and Gratitude
Jessica xxx
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Excuse the expletives, but are you ready for this? Fuck around and find out. Fuck around and find out how incredibly powerful you are. Fuck around and find out that this information is actually life-changing. Welcome to the Fertility Mind Podcast.
Speaker 1:I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back.
Speaker 1:Excuse the expletives. I will tag this as an episode that is expletive so that you know. Maybe you don't listen to it if you're not in an environment where you want other people to hear a lot of F-bombs. The whole point of today's episode is because things are changing around here and I have a lot of announcements to make. But I want to start back with fuck around and find out. Fuck around and find out how incredibly powerful you are, because you are incredibly powerful, your mind is incredibly powerful and your mind is an instrument. Your body is an instrument of the mind. So you can read as many personal development books as you want, because if you look at my bookshelf, I have a lot and I mean I have a lot of personal development books and I have learned things from each and every one of them. But the most important thing that I learned was having a coach. Having a coach does not mean they tell me what to do, because personal development is the study of you. Personal development is learning about information and then relearning that information of how it really applies to you, how your thoughts, feelings and actions become in alignment. It really is about you. So I can tell you, with all of the personal development books that I have read, the courses that I have taken, the certifications that I have gotten, I've had to really understand that even coaches need coaches, because when things are going on in your world, our paradigms are insidious and paradigms I'll repeat, this is a multitude of habits and behaviors, and they can be so quiet and so discreet that they go underneath the surface that you don't recognize them. That's how insidious they are. Or you start to feel something but you don't take action in it because you start to tell yourself that that's not possible because there's this circumstance or there's this situation or there's this. That's going on.
Speaker 1:So last podcast I talked about harvest the good, forgive the rest, because it is what it is, and I got a lot of feedback on that. Because the thing is, when I say your fertility journey is what it is, that in itself is an effing emotional impact. I get it. I get it Because you want to instantly defend no, it isn't what it is. I didn't ask for this. I didn't do for this. I thought I was a good person. Why do I have to go through this? Maybe I'm not a good person? Maybe this, maybe that it is what it is right now. Look at that from a different perspective. You are where you are right now. You can't do anything to change where you are right now other than changing your mindset, because manifesting is bringing something to you, it is attracting it to you, and you have to do that by doing things in a different way.
Speaker 1:So all the compilation of all of my episodes. Let's go to grieving for a second. I'm going to jump all over the map, but please trust me that this is all in alignment. We don't allow ourselves to properly grieve when we're on a fertility journey because you want to suppress your emotions. You want to suppress your emotions because you don't want to actually. You know you're going through this and you feel the emotions of going through this, but you want to be in denial of it. You want to be in denial that you're actually going through this. That's why, when you start to say it is what it is, I am right here, right now, at this moment, in this exact second, in this point of the time. I am not pregnant and everyone else that is around me has what I want. So that is what it is. Flip the perspective. How can I change that? So you want to harvest the good around you. You have time with your spouse and your partner or yourself. However, you're doing this journey to really dive in and feed you.
Speaker 1:This is your time to work on your self-image, a self-image that supports that you already have your desired family. A self-image that is living in gratitude. A self-image that is saying you know what? Asking yourself three questions what did I do well? So what did you do well today? Did you get out of bed? Did you read? Did you go to personal development? Did you listen to a podcast? Did you do something self-care for yourself that allowed you to smile?
Speaker 1:And then I want you to ask yourself what did you learn? You learned that today you had a good day? Or you learned that today your mind was so focused on observing your five senses and seeing how everyone has what you want? And then, what are you willing to do differently now? What are you willing to do differently now? Are you willing to do things differently that you know what? Maybe you're going to journal consistently, maybe you're going to do mirror work. Maybe you're going to observe your thoughts more and say, no, this thought isn't serving me. I know that it is what it is.
Speaker 1:Right now I'm not pregnant, but allowing me to relive. Relive my story, relive all my past experiences my failed transfers, my canceled cycles, my low AMH, my low numbers, my low sperm count or no sperm count, or possibly having to use donors, or possibly even being at the point of adoption, if that's a route for you. There's so many different aspects and avenues in fertility. So I'm talking to every single one of you right now, whatever avenue that you were on, I want you to ask yourself what are you willing to do differently now Because you've learned how your day was? And ask yourself these three questions over and over and over and over again. And I'm going to say to you fuck around and find out, because I want you to become aware of how you're thinking. I want you to become aware that your thoughts and feelings and actions, when they're in alignment, you collapse time when they're not. The gestation period, the law of gestation.
Speaker 1:You're gathering your evidence is just taking a little bit longer. And I know so many of you are going to resist this information because you're going to say, jessica, I didn't ask for this journey. Jessica, I have this underlying medical condition that I was born with, or something happened in my earlier years, that this has developed and this is causing infertility. There's this, there's this. You're right. So that's why, whatever situation you're going through, when I say it is what it is, I'm not being an asshole. I'm really honestly saying to you this is what you're going through right now. So, if you can harvest the good, start harvesting the good, gather the evidence in where you want to be and then forgive the rest. The good gather the evidence in where you want to be and then forgive the rest, because I can't tell you how many of you message me and are still body shaming.
Speaker 1:Body shaming that your body is not doing what it's meant to do. Your body is experiencing a medical condition. Your body is this, this, this, this. Why can't my body just be like hers down the street, or her or her? Why can't I just have what I want? What's wrong with me? All of that is going internal and you are holding on to a low vibration. I want you to know that you're incredibly powerful, but it takes effort. It takes effort and I will be fully transparent. Guys, I have a coach right now because there is contrast in my life. There's contrast in even the multimillionaire and billionaire people in the world. Everyone experiences contrast. It's how you go through it. I want you to understand.
Speaker 1:I share this in Fertility Fusion because I get you to set a goal, and I know everyone on the podcast. Your goal is to have your desired family, but the goal isn't about getting. It is about growing, because it's in the growing you get. You can't stay the exact same person that you are right now and expect to get what you want, because the person that is right here. Yes, you may be beautiful inside and out, you may be the sweetest, most caring, most loving person, but it's your inner talk, it is your self-image, that is saying I'm always giving to other people, but no one's giving to me. I'm always doing this. I am not worthy of this. Why do I have to go through this? This is cruel. This is unfair. I'm a child of God. I'm a child of the universe. I am a child of this.
Speaker 1:I'm practicing, I'm studying. I'm doing this and I talk about being in receivership. Watch your language, because if you're in a place of, I know this information. I've studied this information. I've read 115 books that tell me all about law of attraction. I've done this. I know this. When you use the words, I know you're saying to the universe God, creator spirit, however you want to say it, I know all that. I need to know. So I don't need to know anymore. So you're no longer in receivership because you know, I know.
Speaker 1:Sometimes this sounds like oh my God, jessica, I just want to go back to my regular life where I wake up, I do my daily routine and I don't have to watch my thoughts. I don't have to do these things, but these are the things that are going to allow you to have what you want. I am a firm believer and this may not resonate with you, but I am a firm believer that your mind will absolutely control your body and it's your mindset that will allow you to manifest your baby. I can tell you, my journey is going to be far different than what your journey was, because everyone has a very unique journey, from your upbringing to the person you choose, to the donor sperm or egg you choose, to your work environment, to your social environment, to where you live. It does not matter. Fertility does not discriminate. But I can tell you this when you change your mindset, when you feel those little things coming in telling you that you're not worthy or you're not where you are, it is what it is. I'm going to harvest the good that I have this time, right now, to work on me so that, when my family is here, I am the best, healthiest version of me. And when I say healthiest, I'm not talking about weight, because I do find there is a lot. At least, this is in my awareness.
Speaker 1:Right now, there is a lot of talk about fertility diets and a lot of my clients keep saying I don't want to have to do one more thing to overwhelm me. Why can't I just eat the way I like to eat If I, you know, if I want to have a piece of cake or I want to have this, I want to have my morning coffee. I don't want to cut out all sugar, all coffee, all this. I'm not speaking about any specific fertility diet. This is a compilation of conversations with clients. But the truth is is there's just so much information out there and I am such a firm believer in your mind and I really want you to actually just fuck around and find out.
Speaker 1:If you listen to my podcast and you listen to all the information that is in there, if you join Fertility Fusion, the beautiful thing about reading personal development is you can be attracted to the information, you can feel aligned with it. But it's actually having a coach that helps you fuse. It is the fusion. That is why my course is called Fertility Fusion, because it's fusing to the idea and making this a daily practice. I promise you your life is so different when you make this practice a daily practice versus being. You know it's like, are you committed or are you interested? Because you can be interested in the idea of mindset and manifestation and do things here and there, but then the results don't come the way that you want them to or they don't come as fast, and then you start to tell yourself it's hoaxy, it's bullshit, it doesn't work, it's not for me. But everything that you desire is unique to you and you desire it for a reason. Not everyone desires to have a family, not everyone desires to be a millionaire or travel the world or live on a yacht. Your desires are so unique to you when you're feeling this grief and pain.
Speaker 1:I'm coming back to grief for a minute because we want to suppress our grief, because we don't want to be going through this. I've done an episode on grief where I grieved that I was the only one in my family getting up at five in the morning studying myself, filling myself with positive information. I just wanted to sleep in, I just wanted to have my life, I just wanted to be intimate with my partner and, boom, I was pregnant. I wanted to have all these things, but that wasn't what it is. So it is what it was at that moment.
Speaker 1:So I'm harvesting the good that I'm at this moment in time. I was filling my cup with learning how I operate, learning about my insidious paradigms that kept telling me I wasn't worthy, because every time that paradigm is there, you gather evidence in your five senses, in your 3D world, in your environment that starts to prove to you you're right. You're right, it's not working. You're right, this is happening, you're right. And then you internalize that and you keep yourself at a lower vibration and your self-image starts taking blow after blow after blow, because you're thinking, maybe this is never going to happen for me. And then you start to think how you can, what you can do if this isn't for you, and you still feel that gut-wrenching pain, but it's not working. So there's this. I started harvesting the good.
Speaker 1:I was grieving that this wasn't the life I ever planned for myself. When I was little, I never imagined having a blended family, let alone a blended family, and going through a fertility journey. I never imagined what infertility was like, or the emotional impacts that I would have, or the loss and the hope and the fall, and the hope and the fall, and feeling like I was on a permanent roller coaster and all I wanted to do was just jump off this damn ride because it sucked ass and it was cruel and it was unfair. So, harvesting the good that, yes, I was grieving that this wasn't the life that I ever imagined for myself. I was grieving the fact that it took so damn long. But then I also started grieving in a different way and I allowed myself to sit with my grief and I allowed myself to harvest the good and then I started to forgive the rest.
Speaker 1:I forgave my body for not getting the pregnant the first time or the second time or the third time. I forgave my body when I had a miscarriage because, mentally, what I said to myself, my body's really intuitive. There was a reason that this baby, this embryo, this soul maybe that was its sole purpose was just to know that it was loved for those two weeks or those six weeks and four days and that it was so wanted and so prayed for. But my body knew that that was just the time for that soul. Our souls choose us. So I did what I had to do to relieve that grief. It doesn't mean that the emotional impacts weren't there. It doesn't mean that I didn't lay in the fetal position on my bedroom floor, saying why the F is this happening to me? Why do I have to go through this? It's F-ing cruel to pay for fertility. It's F-ing cruel to then get pregnant and lose it. It's F-ing cruel. I could keep gathering that evidence. Or I could start to forgive and say I'm not done yet. To forgive and say I'm not done yet. I'm not done yet.
Speaker 1:I want you to get to a point where you can fuck around and find out that I'm telling you the truth. But the beautiful thing again about a coach is they can help you. I can help you fuse to the new ideas because again I have 101 plus books all on personal growth and I can align with it. But it's actually fusing to it. It's actually having someone there with you saying, hey, I'm recognizing your verbiage, I'm recognizing underlying feelings, I'm recognizing this journal in this. I can give you all the information in the world, but it's how you apply it, how you take it, how you run with it, that changes you. So I really want you to fuck around and find out what.
Speaker 1:If just for one day, you took all this information, you woke up. You felt such immense gratitude. You did things that you wanted to do, whether it's a day off, a weekend or a work day. Focus on how you want to feel and keep reminding yourself all day long. This is how I want to feel. I want you to journal, I want you to do mirror work. I want you to connect with your vision and your goal, your desires and your dreams and ask yourself all day long am I showing up as that version that already has everything, or am I showing up as the version that I am today, all day long, just for one day? And then, at bedtime or just before when you're settling down for the night, I want you to ask yourself the three things what did I do? What did I learn? What did I do? Well, and now, what am I willing to implement? And then I want you to do one more thing. I want you to revise the day as if everything already happened the way that you thought it was, the way that it would have happened in your imagination if it was a perfect day. And then I want you to do this over and over and over again, because this is all about fucking around and finding out that I'm not lying to you.
Speaker 1:It is about doing small things in a big way, a small thing spending 20 minutes in the morning, up to an hour if you want. Focusing, feeling that feeling all day, focusing and setting yourself up. It's 20 minutes of feeling immense gratitude and then just checking in with yourself Am I feeling in gratitude? That takes two seconds to ask yourself that question, yes or no? If I'm not okay, then what do I want to do? Spending time in that morning really feeling how you want to feel, noticing your thoughts, noticing where your mind is going. You, how are you feeling today? If you're not having a great day, that's okay, it happens to all of us. But then revise the day so you don't have to keep bringing your past into your present, because every second of every day that you bring your past into your present, you're on that, that frequency. You're on a lower vibration, but you're tuned into the frequency of hey. This has already happened before, so we're gonna keep happening it.
Speaker 1:It's like listening to that song you don't like on repeat. It's as easy to switch the radio station in your car or on your phone. If you listen to music on your phone, you just hit next song or you say, hey, play this song. Do you know what I mean, it doesn't have to be complicated, but we make it complicated because of our paradigms. We make it complicated because we start to think this is going to be time consuming, this isn't going to work. It does this, it does that, that's what it does and that's not okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, I want you to really ask yourself questions. I want you to ask yourself questions. I want you to get to know yourself really intimately, because when you know yourself, it boils down to two things love or fear. Are you in a state of love or are you in a state of love or in you are you in a state of fear? And when you know yourself, you can say I want to come back to a state of love. I want to start experiencing the life that I really want to experience. If I don't know when my end date is, it could be tomorrow, it could be next week, it could be 55 years from now or longer. But if you don't know that end date, why waste any time living the past, where your past doesn't have what you want, but your present and future can and will? I really want you to start celebrating little things Celebrating that self-care was a thing, celebrating that you're consistent in journaling, celebrating that you know what, in the midst of the biggest storm of your life, you're still finding ways to love yourself.
Speaker 1:You're still finding ways to find joy. Celebrate that right now. It is not where you want to be. You imagined four years ago you would have your desired family, or maybe you would be done having children at this point in your life, not still on the waiting game. But you have this time to grow you so that you will be the best version of you. You have this time. Choose it wisely, take it wisely.
Speaker 1:Guys, I'm also saying this to myself out loud too, because, yes, contrast exists and, yes, I have a coach, a coach who says things sometimes to me that I want to resist every part of what she's saying. I'm like, no, no, but I listen because my paradigms are just as equally as insidious as yours. And, yes, I am more practice in tools and techniques and bringing them out faster, but sometimes I can get caught in the grief. Sometimes I can get caught in those crossfires of shit isn't working for me. I'm doing what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:I know this stuff because I started using the words I know this stuff. So I clearly said to the universe I know this stuff. I'm fine where I am because I know it. I don't need to be open, I don't need to receive because I know it. And when I have a coach that tells me you stopped being open, and then I want to, I want to instantly resist and bark back and be like, uh, no, I'm open, I shut my yap and I listen, because she is seeing something in me that my paradigm doesn't want me to see. So I'm sharing this with you and I wanted to do it a different approach, because saying fuck around and find out, play around, find out, is probably a softer, easier way. But I'm telling you this information is life-changing. I am telling you just stop being interested in it and start being committed to it, because I love you and I'm rooting for you and I know I know my own experiences, I know my own griefs. I know this, but I also get to learn from my clients, their grief, their experiences, how they grow through, what they're growing through. You guys will forever be my teachers too, because I'm also very aware of how every single fertility journey is so incredibly unique to you.
Speaker 1:I could probably talk for another like five hours, because I feel so lit up right now, but I'm going to end it here because I really, really want you to just absorb this on to some really quick updates. If you don't already, please do follow me at the fertility mind on instagram, because that's where you're going to receive the most up-to-date updates, because there is some amazing things that are coming in the works and I'm going to be posting teasers and things like that in my stories, so please follow me there. But I wanted to share with you that this is going to be the last episode of the Fertility Mind podcast until mid-September and, guys, it makes me feel sad to say this. I don't want to take a break. However, I need to be in full creation mode and in the next upcoming weeks, my students are graduating from Fertility Fusion. I want to be super present with them, and in the next couple weeks, my kiddos are going back to school, so I want to be present with them as well and really focus on self-care, because I'm finally allowing myself to dive really deep into my vision and I'm excited to bring that vision to life with you guys as well. So this is a tiny, teeny, tiny break.
Speaker 1:Please know that I love doing my weekly episodes.
Speaker 1:I love the feedback you guys are giving me and the messages that I receive telling me that you love the episode or that it really aligned with you and you can't wait for next week, and I really don't want to take the break.
Speaker 1:But I'm prioritizing self-care, I'm prioritizing my family and I'm prioritizing the graduates of Fertility Fusion and allowing the creation of what's to come next. So please follow me on Instagram and you will see the updates that are being posted in my stories there, and please know that I love you. I'm really proud of you for listening and I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. For you guys tuning in and listening and I'm always, always, always here and rooting for you have an amazing day. I want to express my deepest gratitude for you tuning in with me today. I am proud of you and I am sending you so much love. I want you to remember that you hold incredible strength and power within you. If this episode resonated with you or you know anyone that would benefit from hearing, please share and if you haven't done so already, head over to Spotify or Apple and please leave a rating and a review In love and light, jessica.