The Fertility Mind Podcast
Welcome to my podcast. I share Raw, unfiltered stories of the Infertility world. Throughout the episodes, I share my own success with IVF, and you will hear from my guests about their success in the Fertility world. I will also share tools and techniques of Mindset and Manifestation. I have first-hand experience with how mindset and Manifestation changed the trajectory of my journey. I have since then applied this to every area of my life, and the transformation is beautiful. I know this is just the beginning. This podcast means so much to me because, In 2014, I found myself in the middle of the Fertility world, feeling alone and searching for hope. Everywhere I searched on social media, looking for a connection with others on the same infertility journey, I only found dwindling hope. In 2019, when I entered the Fertility world again, I reached out on social media, but it only seemed worse. It became my mission to spread hope with success stories, have open conversations about medical protocols and create connections. A positive community for others to feel supported, uplifted, and know they are not alone.
The Fertility Mind Podcast
S2 | E19 Liberated Mindset vs Mental Prison Mindset
Hey, Hey, Welcome Back!
Are you ready to break free from the chains of a mental prison and embrace a liberated mindset, especially when facing fertility challenges? In this episode of the Fertility Mind Podcast, We'll evaluate our coping strategies and how constructive mechanisms can shift us from feeling emotionally trapped to achieving a high vibration and aligning with our dreams.
In Love, Light and Gratitude
Jessica xxx
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Welcome to the Fertility Mind Podcast. I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back. This week's episode is all about having a liberated mindset versus a mindset where you almost feel like you're in prison. I'm going to touch on more of what I mean with that in a second, but I want you to write down these questions because I really want you to journal these questions. So my question for you is what are your coping mechanisms? Is what are your coping mechanisms? And then what I want you to do is, after you list out your coping mechanisms, I want you to go through that list and ask yourself are each one, one by one? Are they serving you, yes or no? And then the third thing I want you to do is answer why or how is it serving you, or why or how is it not serving you? Because a coping mechanism is just this it is a way of coping. It is a way to give yourself a mental reprieve from feeling your emotional impacts, from feeling the hard the heavy, your emotional impacts, from feeling the hard the heavy feeling and being so emotionally charged in these feelings of how you are consistently observing, how you have this desire, your goals, your dreams and they have yet to be fulfilled and we activate these coping mechanisms. And we activate these coping mechanisms. I do want to say this I don't believe coping mechanisms are right or wrong. I do believe that, going forward, once you hear this, I want you to activate them in a positive way, so that you can start living in a liberated mindset, versus just activating them as what it is, just to give you this short term mental reprieve from what you're going on and still stay in that mental prison mindset. So when you activate them, I want you to go to this place, but we all have them and this is why I truly believe there is no right or wrong with a coping mechanism. So I shared in season one I believe it was episode one or episode two of the podcast that for me, one of the coping mechanisms that I had, when things just felt so hard, so heavy and I just needed to take a moment from my house. I would drive to my local Tim Hortons around the corner from our house and I would go get a nice cat so that I could do the ugly cry. And then I would come back home and I put my brave face back on and tell myself it's okay.
Speaker 1:There's so many different ways that you could look at that is was that a good coping mechanism? Was it a bad coping mechanism? And it's not about making it right or wrong, it's about learning how this is serving you. So I looked at it a few different ways. Number one I felt it was a good way. It gave me that moment to just release my emotions, my emotions. It gave me that moment in time to just cry, to just let it out for that short period of time, because those pent-up emotions were really hard. It also gave me a moment to not be so engulfed in my environment where everything was feeling like I was suffocating. If you will, you can also look at it of you know, I could have maybe gone to go get a healthy smoothie somewhere else instead of a sugary caffeinated drink. You can look at it however you want. So the point of going through your coping mechanisms isn't to make it right or wrong, but how is it serving you?
Speaker 1:And then also understand that when you activate these coping mechanisms because, as you're growing through things and I didn't say going, I said growing because as you're growing through the contrast, as you're growing through what you're experiencing these emotional impacts it is that you're going to start to liberate your mindset. And you're going to activate these coping mechanisms because you are experiencing emotional impacts and sometimes you do need this mental reprieve from just always observing and always feeling your inside of how. You just really don't know if or how or when this is going to work. If it's going to work, how long it will take? You know the questions, you know the internal feelings. So when you activate them, you can then go into liberated mindset. So I'll touch on this again, but I want to start explaining what an activated or, sorry, a liberated mindset is versus a mindset that feels like you're in a mental prison.
Speaker 1:A liberated mindset is a mindset where you are consistently making decisions to realign yourself with your goals, your desires and your dreams. You are consistently choosing to be in a higher vibration. You are consistently choosing to go into that state of the feeling in your imagination where your goals, your dreams and your wishes are fulfilled. So when you enter that state, you feel that feeling of what it would feel like to have all of those things right now. That feeling of what it would feel like to have all of those things right now. You are raising your vibration and you're tuning into that frequency where everything already exists. You keep yourself moving and growing forward.
Speaker 1:You are growing through the grief. Yes, you are processing these emotions. Yes, you are taking the time. Yes, you're doing things and you're not holding guilt or judgment against yourself. You are observing the things and choosing to go to the positive side of everything and choosing to keep connecting with what it is that you want, versus the mindset of being in this mental prison. And that is where you are going through things. You are so engulfed in your environment. You are using your five senses to constantly observe your environment, only to be met with seeing over and over and over again people having what it is that you desire. And you are in this duality state where you know you want this, you feel like you're doing work towards it, yet you don't know when it's going to happen. And you go for a walk, you do something, and you feel those emotional triggers where you, for example, you walk by a park, you hear kids playing and it's music to your ears, but then it instantly goes to that feeling, the duality feeling of I don't have that yet. Will I ever have that? Do I have to start? You know, aligning to a life that this may never be an option for me? You know the questions, you know the feelings, you know the inner chatter that is going on. So a mental prison is where you know.
Speaker 1:If you listen to the podcast, for that moment in time that you're listening, you feel good, but as soon as you press stop or it ends, you pick up your phone and you scroll social media. Or maybe you listen to it on your lunch break and you go back to work. And then you're right back in your physical 3D environment, observing and feeling all those low vibrational feelings and living in that state that everything is happening to you and nothing is happening for you. So I want you to understand the difference. And when you activate your coping mechanisms, when things are really hard and heavy, how you can go to a liberated state is whatever your coping mechanism is for that moment in time. Say, for example, you chose to watch a comedy, something that just made you laugh, because you can't remember the last time you had a really good laugh In that moment in time you were focused on the movie. You're laughing. You're not focused on what is going on around you. That's not working for you. So as soon as you're done watching that movie, this is where you can activate the liberated mindset. You can spend a few extra moments and really start to connect with what it is that you want. You can connect with the feeling of having it, and then you can also start to look at your assumptions, because you're in a higher vibration versus looking at assumptions of what you're going through and being in that mental prison where, as soon as you shut off that, you know the movie, or you stop, whatever your coping mechanism is, and you pick up your phone and you scroll social media or you do something else and you're instantly triggered so that you activated a coping mechanism, but it just gave you just that a short-term mental reprieve, but you're right back in that state.
Speaker 1:I want to talk about assumptions in your imagination for a minute, because if you're in a low vibration and you try and ask yourself some questions, it can sometimes feel harder or heavy or overwhelming trying to answer these questions because you're already vibrating so low and you start to look at your assumptions. And you start to look at things and you say I don't know what I'm assuming, I just know that this is hard. That is an assumption, but it truly feels hard. So how is that an assumption? And yes, I've done an episode on assumptions. But when you activate your coping mechanisms and give yourself a liberated mindset and then go ask yourself some questions of okay, so this is the situation that I'm going through, or I am growing through, I want to use my imagination. How would I love to see this resolved and how would it feel to see this resolved? How would it feel? It would probably feel incredible to have your situation or your environment or your emotional impacts solved. So when you go to that feeling, you can start to think okay, am I living in any assumptions and if I am, are they serving me or are they not serving me? So, a liberated mindset. When you ask yourself assumptions, you can use the law of polarity where you see okay, here's my assumption. Is it on the negative end or is it on the positive end? And whatever end it is on, you want to get it to the positive end. So here's an example, an assumption that I want to talk to you about.
Speaker 1:Daily I get messages, people asking you know when is the next round of Fertility Fusion happening? Or, unfortunately, I get a lot of questions where people say I really want to join Fertility Fusion, but for me, right now, my salary is this All my extra money is tied up in my fertility journey. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be on this. I don't know how much more money I'm going to have to pay. I don't know if mindset or manifestation is for me. I'm dabbling in it, I'm seeing it happen for other people, but I don't necessarily know if I can manifest my baby. I don't necessarily believe that that's possible for me. You name it, I get the questions and I can manifest my baby. I don't necessarily believe that that's possible for me. You name it. I get the questions and I think it's incredible to get these questions and this is why I encourage you guys, please reach out to me so I can help you and I can give you an understanding.
Speaker 1:So, even if you have a fixed salary, money is energy. It can come all around you. You're just not attuned to it, you're just not aware of it. It can come in so many different forms. Like there is infinite ways. And I have created it's not finished yet, but I have created a second version of Fertility Fusion and on my website and, once it's launched, in my podcast notes I will put the difference between Fertility Fusion and, on my website and, once it's launched, in my podcast notes I will put the difference between Fertility Fusion VIP, which is what I have running right now, versus just Fertility Fusion, which is more than half the cost.
Speaker 1:And I created this because, guys, I get it, I was you, I did. I had to borrow money for my fertility journey and I kept thinking this is my salary, and if I do get to have a baby or babies, that is now an added income, and if I'm on a maternity leave, my income is already lower. So how am I going to make these payments back to my father-in-law, and the thought of paying for a course or something else would have just overwhelmed me. I get it, but what I did do is I stopped focusing on the money and I started focusing on what I did and what I wanted, and the money started showing up in different ways. So I want you to understand that it is an assumption that you don't have enough money, or there's an assumption that you could potentially be on a fertility journey for a really long time and you want to secure the money that you do have. Those are negative assumptions.
Speaker 1:How could you flip those assumptions using the law of polarity to bring it to the positive? I started saying affirmations like this everywhere I go, everything is always working out for me. And as I started saying that little synchronicities would happen, like I might go to the coffee store and someone bought me a coffee and I thought, oh my goodness, like there there's an app I do recommend you guys getting it. I believe it's $7.99 to buy like $7.99. It is the secret money app, but this is something that really helped me because I would put that I went to go spend, say, five dollars on a coffee and someone bought that for me. So that's five dollars that I intended on spending, but but I saved that. So I would put that in a saved thing, because that was money I'd already allotted, and you can start to see how your money flows. You can start to see where you're spending money and where you're not spending money.
Speaker 1:But the whole point of this is to look at your assumption. I started saying an affirmation and started assuming that everything is always working out for me everywhere I go and I started seeing that happening. I would see that there was a parking space closer to the store versus at the far back end of the parking lot. I would start to see different things. Or you know, for my birthday, say, for example, someone bought me a lottery ticket and I would win $20. Like. And you'd be like my goodness, that was really cool, that's really nice. Or just I'm not giving the best examples, I'm sorry, my mind is just going a million miles a minute, but I want you to be able to change your assumption.
Speaker 1:Look at what you're assuming. If you haven't given yourself medical amnesia yet, stop looking at your diagnosis, because you're going to say, well, I have this underlying diagnosis or I fall into the unknown category. Therefore, it's going to be harder. What are your assumptions? And then just say but what if I truly start to believe that the universe has its right divine timing? Or you start saying every second of every day, my manifestations are unfolding and I'm one step closer every single day to having what it is that I truly desire, versus an assumption of looking at things like another day has gone by. I'm either waiting for my period or I'm waiting to start cycle monitoring. I'm waiting for this, I'm waiting for that. This is hard. I'm getting older and older each day and I don't know if I'm any closer.
Speaker 1:Do you understand those assumptions? Do you understand how you can take a negative and flip it to the positive? So, once you start to identify and be aware of your assumptions and you flip them to the positive, that's when you trigger your mindset, you activate your mindset and say or your imagination, you start to say okay, I really, really, really, really want this and this is the feeling associated with it, and then go back to liberating your mindset, versus being in that negative assumption and then going to your environment and looking around being like well, this person just announced that they were pregnant, this person just had their fertility journey paid for. They won some type of contest. This happened. This happened. They had a gofundme page. This happened. This happened. I funding this myself. I'm struggling to live paycheck to paycheck. I don't know if this is going to work for me. You name it, guys. Like we live in a plethora of assumptions day to day today. So why don't you take those assumptions and flip them to the positive so you can start assuming the best versus assuming the worst? And you can do that by also activating your imagination and connecting to that feeling of what it is that you really want. That will keep you in the liberated mindset. That doesn't mean contrast won't exist because, guys, you guys are my peers, and I say this because we all have goals, desires and dreams. Mine look different than yours now because, yes, I used these exact tools and techniques to manifest my three babies. I am now moving towards different goals. Yeah, they scare me.
Speaker 1:I sometimes feel like I'm living in a pool of uncomfortableness because I'm growing and I feel awkward sometimes. If you see me out in public, this is probably TMI, but if you see me out in public, sometimes I feel really awkward because people know a very old version of me. Sometimes I run into people that I went to high school with and I'm just like, oh my gosh, they don't know the new version of me. And I just I'm like, oh hi, hey, how's it going? And I'm like this is not me, like I am very happy and social, and but when I'm outside of my comfort zone, outside of my bubble, if you will, I then sometimes I revert back and then I come home and like who was that person to me? Like that was awkward, as ever. So, yeah, sometimes I feel uncomfortable, thinking that that's not who I am, that's not what I'd want to say or that's you know what I mean. But this is all part of growing. This is me in between of being where I am versus actually having the goal achieved. But then I keep looking at the assumptions. What assumption did I think of? Well, I haven't seen this person since high school, so they probably assume I'm still this person and I go. No, well, next time I see them, I get to be the version of me that I am right now.
Speaker 1:I want you to understand we literally live in a plethora of assumptions and they're not always serving us, and assumptions create beliefs, or vice versa. Maybe you have a belief about something and you keep observing your assumptions over and over and over again in your world and vice versa. Maybe you've had, you know, you've lived in an assumption and now you're creating a belief to support these assumptions that you've been having because you start to see it over and over and over again. And that's why I think it's really important to get yourself looking at your assumptions but activate a coping mechanism that can give you that mental reprieve, liberate your mindset and then start to look at your assumptions differently, versus maybe not even activating a coping mechanism and feeling the heavy feeling, the hard feeling, the frustration, feeling all the things and then trying to look at your assumptions and being like I'm so overwhelmed, I'm just not going to do this today because I just can't. And you think tomorrow's a new day, I'll try and do it tomorrow. Guys, I get that and I wish I could share some things with you.
Speaker 1:Guys that I went through, not for you to feel sorry for me, but for you to really resonate that I've been in some very hard places in my life and I've been in a place where I was manifesting some things and other things I couldn't manifest at all and I was really living in a fear, I was really living in a belief and I was really living in a fear. I was really living in a belief and I was really living in an assumption and until I was ready to do the work, it remained hard and heavy and I kept asking myself how can I manifest this? But I can't manifest this and I started questioning a lot of things. And then again, this is where I would go to an activated, liberated mindset. I would activate a coping mechanism of, like you know what, I'm going to go for a walk, I'm going to read a book, I'm going to put on a movie, I'm going to, you know, go out for dinner or have a date night, or I'm just going to sit outside for 20 minutes and just be quiet for 20 minutes so I can meditate, so I can stop feeling, I can stop cycling these questions and get crystal clear. I stopped myself feeling that low vibration and I said what is it that I really want? I want to liberate my mindset. I want to stop living in this mental prison where this one area feels hard and heavy, where this one area feels like, no matter what it is that I do, it's just not working. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with this? Do I not deserve this? Guys, I know you know these questions. I know you feel these feelings.
Speaker 1:I had to do the work and I had to start again. That assumption was I'm overwhelmed, I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I don't have time to do this. And you're now asking me to get up early and study, or you're asking me to face, like all the things that I'm going through, and no, I can't. Yes, you can. I change that. I'm overwhelmed, I'm tired, to I have more time than I know what to do with. I have more time so I can find time to work on myself. I am fulfilled because of the things that I'm doing. As I started flipping my assumptions, one by one, by one, little tiny synchronicities started showing up. So my ladder of belief was growing and therefore so did my belief. So did all the things, and my assumption started saying okay, it's working, it's working, and the synchronicities got bigger and bigger and bigger. I really want you to understand.
Speaker 1:There's a difference between a liberated mindset and a mindset where you feel like you're in a mental prison, and I know so many of you are locked in this mental prison. You tell me, jessica, I'm journaling, I'm doing the work, it's not? I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I say you're not doing anything wrong, but what assumptions are you holding? I don't know I'm not wrong and I say you're not doing anything wrong, but what assumptions are you holding? I don't know. I'm not thinking about my assumptions because it's really hard. So I'm say I say okay, what can you do right now to just be? What can you do right now to just give yourself mental amnesia from being on a fertility journey? What can you do right now to just feel joy, feel love, to give yourself this mental reprieve of what you're feeling? Activate your mindset, liberate your mindset. So activate a coping mechanism so that you can give yourself this mental reprieve and then you can start to literally liberate your mindset versus it's hard, it's heavy. Sorry, excuse my cough, it's hard, it's heavy, it hurts. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to have to study, I don't want to have to do this, I just want to have my baby. Is that too much to ask?
Speaker 1:And then you go for a walk to clear your head and you walk and you see someone pushing a stroller, or you go to a store and you walk past a baby section or again, you hear or see all the things that you want to have and it's just that blow to your heart that means you're locked in your mental prison. Could you look at seeing a person with a stroller and say that is me. I get to be doing that, that is me, versus feeling that pain. Can you do all the things like I have said in other podcast episodes of clearing space to make your baby room your nursery? Can you walk past that room and say goodnight my love or goodnight my loves? Can you do those things? Yes, you can, but are you being persistent? Are you consistently doing it?
Speaker 1:Or do you stay in this mental prison where it's hard, it sucks, it's draining, it's unfair? It's been so long. Am I worthy? You start to really question your self-worth and I'm here to tell you you are worthy. So liberate your mindset and keep telling yourself over and over and over and over and over again I am worthy. I am worthy Because you are worthy, even if it makes you cry. Even if it makes you cry, I want you to keep telling yourself that you're worthy.
Speaker 1:I want you to liberate your mindset, activate a coping mechanism so when you start to feel hard or heavy and you think, okay, you know, I'm just going to go take a coffee break or I'm just going to go do this. Be like right? Jessica told me I'm just, I'm doing this, maybe unconscious thought of just I need five minutes for myself. Jessica just told me I five minutes for myself. Jessica just told me I activated my coping mechanism. Now I get to liberate my mindset, instead of just taking those five minutes and then going right back into your regular environment where you observe that nothing is working for you, because the universe is always working for you. It doesn't always feel that way, but when you hold the belief that it is, you will start to see, when you do a bird's eye view, how everything aligned. But when you're in the middle of it it doesn't always feel that way, but you can always see it in the end of how it worked out better than you could have imagined.
Speaker 1:And I know some of you, instantly, right now, are gonna say to me Jessica, I'm on a fertility journey. I have no idea how this is ever working out for me. I have no idea why I have to go through this. I don't, I truly do not believe that we ask for horrible things to happen to us. But I also really understand ask for horrible things to happen to us. But I also really understand. I don't know why your soul was given this journey, but I do know that you can liberate your mindset and start living the life that you want to live, and truly liberate your mindset and watch your manifestations unfold, versus living in this mental prison observing it's another day that's gone by. I don't have what I want. It's another day that's gone by that I don't have the money or I didn't take the trip that I wanted. I didn't do this, I didn't do that. I want you to understand.
Speaker 1:I know how easy it is to get caught up in the grief. I know how easy it is to feel consumed. But you hold the power within you. You hold the power within you. You hold the power within you. I really want you to understand that and go liberate your mindset. I hope you have an incredible day. I'm really proud of you. I am sending you so much love. Thank you for being here with me today. I want to express my deepest gratitude for you tuning in with me today. I am proud of you and I am sending you so much love. I want you to remember that you hold incredible strength and power within you. If this episode resonated with you or you know anyone that would benefit from hearing, please share, and if you haven't done so already, head over to Spotify or Apple and please leave a rating and a review. In love and light, jessica.