The Fertility Mind Podcast

S2 | E16 YOU are the HOW

• Jessica Friesen

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Hey, Hey, Welcome Back,

Have you ever asked yourself How? How does Manifesting work? How will I know if it's working? How, How, How. Just show me the exact steps so I can start manifesting right away.  Does This sound like you? If so, you're not alone. I wanted all the answers to how long it would take and any "how" questions I could think of.

This episode explores overcoming emotional barriers and aligning with the frequency of our deepest yearnings, becoming the 'how' of our own story. We unlock a transformative power within ourselves.



In Love, Light and Gratitude
Jessica xxx


Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Fertility Mind Podcast. I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back.

Speaker 1:

Today I want to share with you that you are the how. So this is lesson two in Fertility Fusion, and I've condensed it down because this one I love, because the most common question that I get is how do I manifest? Give me the exact steps. I'll cross all the T's, I'll dot all the I's and I'll become a magic manifester and I'll have all my desires, goals and dreams. But when I tell you that you are the how, you all have an idea of how something should happen, right, right. When you hold on to the exact idea of how something can happen. It's like kinking a hose You're siphoning it off, you're not allowing the unlimited universal possibilities to come to you. So I want to share this with you because this was something that happened to me In my very first fertility journey, when I was just listening to Law of Attraction audiobooks.

Speaker 1:

I didn't know the how. I thought my how had to be IVF because after going to the urologist to find out, after doing a specialized sperm test, we had a 10% chance, being referred to a fertility clinic, then finding out we had a 0% chance. We had to skip IUIs and go straight to IVF with ICSI, where they inseminate the egg with my husband's sperm. That's what we were told. So that was my how. That became my new belief. That became my new vision. That became my new goal. That became everything for me because I thought that was became my new belief. That became my new vision. That became my new goal. That became everything for me because I thought that was the how. I didn't know my own personal potency. I didn't know about law of attraction, mindset, manifestation, any of those things, but what I did understand is I created my own how.

Speaker 1:

I could have listened to my external environment by, you know, feeling the fear of money, knowing I had borrowed money, having had three failed transfers that you know there's a really big possibility that couldn't happen because we were also running out of the lended money and all of these things. I could have listened to those, but instead my how became. I remembered hey, I have, you know, law of attraction, audiobooks this is something that can fill me up on my drives and I thought well, what if I applied these things that they talk about? They didn't use the words visualization or frequency or vibration, but they talked about feeling, the feelings and how. Feeling was the secret and they talked really heavy on gratitude and other things like that. So I replied that that became the secret and they talked really heavy on gratitude and other things like that. So I replied that that became my how and that really did change the trajectory. I did not focus on all of the things and I became the how, because I was doing things differently, I felt differently, I was increasing my vibration, I was tuning into the frequency of yeah, I'm absolutely having boy-girl twins. Yeah, I'm doing this. Oh, my God, yeah, and they tuned off the external world. That's how I became the how Fast forward to my secondary fertility journey.

Speaker 1:

Now I was actually studying mindset and manifestation and my mentor had actually asked me this question and she said what if you could get pregnant naturally and instantly? My words were how. My husband and I don't use protection because we've never been able to get pregnant naturally, so if it hasn't happened at this point it ain't happening. Those were my words. And she said but what if you could? Would you? And I had to sit with that and I had to journal that and I get emotional when I say it and I said no, I'm going to choose IVF. And she said why? And I said because at this point I still have frozen, I have three frozen embryos, and I was just starting to learn and dive in very, very literally at that point of spirituality. But I knew that we are all souls and that we are all energy. And I said and I wrote this down repeatedly I will bring all of them home. I want them to all come home because for those two weeks I want them to know that they were loved. This was before we made the decision to only ever do one embryo at a time. This was before we made the decision to only ever do one embryo at a time. But here's the thing, guys, I manifested bringing them all home.

Speaker 1:

Did it work out the way? I thought no, because my first implantation was a failed implantation. My second one was a miscarriage you know the whole rigmarole and how long that took. And then the third one was a failed transfer and I cursed the universe, I was pissed, I hated it and I said F you universe.

Speaker 1:

But something grew within me and that was the how. What grew within me was this intense burning desire and I said then show me the effing how, because I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't have the finances, I don't have this, I don't have the how. So I was faced with my thoughts, I was faced with a lot of things and I thought do I want to try and do this? Naturally? I talked to my husband what if we really focused on trying to do this? Naturally, his belief was no, we can't do it. Naturally, my belief was I think I'm powerful enough, but I don't know that I can control that timeframe. Because what if it actually took years, whereas I know IVF had worked for us and I felt and believed that that could have condensed our time. I now think differently, but I don't resent any of the decisions that I made.

Speaker 1:

I ultimately grew this intense, burning desire. I went to the doctor and I just said what are the next steps? I need to hear what you need to, what you need to say. And again, I turned off all the variables you guys have heard in season, in season one, episode two, where you know they were going to cancel my cycle, lining up the urologist, lining up my husband's event states, you name it, all the variables that seemed way too much. Plus, it was the middle of winter and driving three hours on a highway which can close at any time because of weather conditions, you name it. They were all there. They were all screaming don't do it, just wait. And I'm glad we didn't.

Speaker 1:

But my point was is I understood that I had a potency? Still, at that point I didn't understand my personal potency. I didn't understand how powerful I was. I just knew I was going to focus my mind, I was going to understand my beliefs and my assumptions and I was going to rewire them. I was going to focus on what it is that I wanted by visualizing, connecting with my goals, feeling that feeling of having everything that I wanted and I said I'm going to manifest a blonde haired, blue eyed baby boy. I'm going to have my second son, my second pregnancy, and I did exactly that. I want you to understand. I created a how, how. I didn't know that was going to happen because our finances said heck, no, and there was again so many extra variables who could watch our twins, all of these things, so many variables that could have easily stopped us. But I said no, I'm going to focus my thoughts, I'm going to do something, I'm going to create my own how. I am the how and that's exactly what I did and I need to share that with you guys, because you are the how. You can create that without knowing how it's going to come so fast forward. I'm gonna. I'm gonna share this. I'm trying to keep this really short for you guys. I'm giving you a non-fertility related. You are the how. Long story short.

Speaker 1:

My husband, for years, has wanted a truck, but we've always had a truck available to us to pull our really big trailer when he does his, his events, whether it was through one of our employees or we've had to rent a truck in the past. But when we talked about owning our own truck, we were caught in the how, because I would say it like, our driveway isn't long enough to have three vehicles where we live, um, especially during the winter months, you can't park on the road overnight. And we just thought, like insurance, paying for three vehicles, all of these things again, a lot of variables. We couldn't see the how. We were kinking that hose and not being open to all the universal possibilities and all the synchronicities that can line up.

Speaker 1:

So last week my husband said it's time I want my own truck. And I said to him how do you want to get one? He said well, I'll go to a dealership. And I said do you want new? Do you want new used? What do you want? He said I just know I want a Dodge Ram, a white Dodge Ram. Okay, sure, whatever. And I said but can you be open to it? Maybe it's a different one. Like I said, let's go drive around. You know the dealership lots. Look at different pricing of vehicles, new, used, looking at things.

Speaker 1:

We were gathering the evidence. We weren't concrete on how this was going to happen. When this was going to happen we were just saying okay, we're placing our order to Universe, prime, I want a truck. And in full transparency, I kept saying to my husband I'm going to keep telling you and reminding you visualize, feel, do all these things. Because I was never a truck person, I never imagined owning a truck, driving a truck, and my limited ideas of trucks because I haven't been in a lot of trucks I was like there's three seats in the in, in the front, that's it. My husband's like no, you can get six seaters. And I was like, oh well, good to know. But. And he said, I want a six-seater, like I want something that you know is very spacious, and I kept thinking, my gosh, this thing is huge.

Speaker 1:

Again, I was thinking about how different things. I thought, no, this is my awareness. I don't need to know the how, I don't need to know any of this. If this is what he wants, I'm just going to keep holding a vision for him. You know him coming in the driveway with a white truck. That's all I kept doing. I am so happy and grateful. My husband has his white truck. I didn't put a brand on it, I didn't put a year on it, I didn't put new, used anything, because it wasn't my goal, it wasn't my desire, I couldn't add all the feelings that my husband could, but I would text him have you felt today, how, how good it feels to have your white truck? And he said, yeah, I'm feeling it right now and he's like I'm, you know, I've, I've, I've looked online, I've got an idea he's like, but I still really feel like I want to dodge Ram.

Speaker 1:

Long story short, last weekend we took our cars in for the spring tune-up and the gentleman at the dealership said would you ever consider selling your van? That became our how? That's something that we had not thought of because we still had a lien on our van. So my husband's like well, I have a lien on it. I like, what do you mean? And he said, well, we're actually looking to buy back your like, your, your make and model and your year. And my husband said, well, how would that work? And he said, well, I'm looking. I'm looking for a truck. Our van is a Kia. He wants a Dodge Ram, not even the same dealership, right? So he said well. So he said, well, actually he said, well, we've got a white truck that just came on the lot this morning. It was a different brand, I can't remember. I think it was a GMC, can't remember.

Speaker 1:

My husband sat in it. He liked some things but it wasn't everything that he wanted and he said, jay, what do I do? And I said it's not what you want. You don't settle. No, thank you, you don't settle, but it's come in your awareness that a truck is coming to you and he's like what I was like. This is in your awareness. You're now seeing white trucks and there's a different way. So my husband said you know what? I would be 100% open to trading in my van for a truck, but I really want a Dodge Ram. And the guy said okay, I'll keep my ears and eyes open. If we can make it happen, we can make it happen. The very next day, guys.

Speaker 1:

The very next day my husband got a call from the gentleman at the dealer and he said guess what he said? Next week there is a Dodge Ram Hemi six-seater coming in. My husband said okay, tell me more. He said it's white and he said it's got such and such kilometers on it and it's this year. It happened to have less kilometers and it was newer than our van, it had all the bells and whistles and it was in mint condition. So my husband looked at it. He sat at it and he said this is amazing. So again he went and he's like well, how much are my payments going to be? How much is this going to be? What would I get back for trading in the van? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It didn't increase our payments, isn't that crazy? So what our payments were for the van? Yes, it extended the time, but the payments remain the same.

Speaker 1:

And my husband got the truck of his dreams. All because he let go of the how he thought it should and he created the how, by gathering evidence of. You know what. This is the truck that I would really like to have, looking around at the different price between new and used, testing out other trucks like, sitting in them and feeling them, and to see how they feel, and everything unfolded for him. That is you becoming the how.

Speaker 1:

You get to allow things to unfold by connecting to your goals, your desires, your dreams, your visions, feeling those feelings and shutting off the outside noise that tells you how. I can't, you know, it's not in my budget, there's no room in my driveway because, again, I'll repeat, I never imagined trading in our van for a truck of a different brand. My husband had looked at the Kia truck. I don't even know if there is a Kia truck, but there's a Kia SUV that he had looked at. That was somewhat equivalent and he's like, no, this definitely is not what I want. My point is it unfolded in a way that we would have never expected and it happened in a time frame that we would have never expected.

Speaker 1:

I want you to know that when you let go of the how it has to happen and you take action by gathering the evidence, you do things in a different way small things in a big way, feeling those feelings, seeing yourself having these things, you start creating your own. How Synchronicities start lining up. The universe is there, but when you say no, it has to happen this exact way, in this time frame, you literally took a hose and bent it in half, and that stops the flow from flowing as fervently as it could. I want you to understand how incredibly powerful you are. I want you to understand that so many things can happen for you, and I'll repeat this again I never thought I would own a truck. I always thought it was years away if we were ever going to have one, and I honestly thought I don't think I ever want to drive the truck. I sat in the truck when we picked it up yesterday and I went holy cow, I like this truck. I actually feel really powerful because I'm a tiny person. I'm like I feel like, yeah, whoa, this is a really cool thing. So all things, when you focus on the how, how would it fit in our driveway? How would this? How, how can we get pregnant naturally? Because we have this underlying thing, or this is what we're told Let go of your how. Yes, I shared with you.

Speaker 1:

I ultimately said my how was going to be through IVF, because I really weighed out the options in my head. My last round, my last journey, if you will. I weighed out my beliefs. How long was it going to take me to change my belief that I could do this naturally versus trying with IVF? I weighed out my beliefs of am I doing this for me and my husband or just me? Because my husband had a very strong belief no, we're not going to get pregnant naturally. It's not happening. And I thought, okay, that's what he's going to be holding always in the back of his mind, whether he's aware of it or not. I can't change his beliefs. I can change mine, but it takes two to tango and again, that's a belief too. I weighed out my options.

Speaker 1:

So, yes, I chose, in a way, a certain how. I want to do this through IVF, but I let go of everything else. I let go of my timeframe, I let go of how's the money going to show up. I didn't allow myself to feel fear around money. I really started to dive into the feeling, visualizing, really looking at myself and saying, okay, I see this contrast, I see the things that are showing up. Do I want to pay attention to this, yes or no? No, I don't. So I'm not going to and I'm going to spend more time in my imagination. I'm going to spend more time feeling that feeling and holding a certainty that this is happening. And every time that fear came up, every time those little things came up, I went this is not serving me, this is not ever helping me, propel me towards my dream. It's pulling me away from my dream.

Speaker 1:

So I can't listen to this, because I believe in the universe, I believe in infinite possibilities. I don't need to know the exact how or when, but I do know that I've chosen my how because I chose IVF. I do know I did things in a small way, in a big way, small things in a big way and in a different way of then just living in my environment, and I watch this happen. I can share with you so many different synchronicities and manifestations and things that have happened, but I just wanted to share this last one with the truck, because it was a very big unknown. It was something we both thought would happen later in life, but then all of a sudden was presented. No, it can actually happen right now and in less than a week. It was a really cool experience and I wanted to share that with you because so many possibilities are available to you, because you are the how. Every time, you are the how, how, how, how, how. Tell me how and I'll do it. I don't understand how I'm going to do it, so I can't do it. Those are all things that are how-ing. You are the how, you create it, and if you say how do I create it because I've got this, then what if you can change your perspective, change your idea, change your thoughts?

Speaker 1:

I am really sending you guys so much love and I'm really trying to empower you and I'm really trying to get you guys to understand your personal potency and understand how amazing things would feel Not if, but will happen for you. I wish versus I am. I'm sending you so much love. Have an amazing day and I will say this I'm proud of you for being here. Thank you for being here. I love you. I want to express my deepest gratitude for you tuning in with me today. I am proud of you and I am sending you so much love. I want you to remember that you hold incredible strength and power within you. If this episode resonated with you or you know anyone that would benefit from hearing, please share. And if you haven't done so already, head over to Spotify or Apple and please leave a rating and a review. In love and light, jessica.