The Fertility Mind Podcast

S2 | E13 Love

• Jessica Friesen • Season 2 • Episode 13

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Hey, Hey, Welcome Back!

What does Love mean to you? Did you know that LOVE is the absolute highest vibration?  

Do you believe you can be in a state of Love while going through your fertility journey? 

Well, I am here to tell you that YES, you  CAN! 

What if you could say goodbye to living in uncertainty and put on rose-coloured glasses? What if life started to go your way? Want to know more? Join me in this episode returning to Love. 

In Love, Light and Gratitude 
Jessica xxx    

Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Fertility Mind Podcast. I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back.

Speaker 1:

Today I'm talking to you about love, so let me ask you this what does love mean to you and what do you think the opposite of love is? And then, how do you think you could bring more love back into your life? I want you to answer these questions, because gaining clarity here really allows you to understand how you feel about love and what love means to you. The opposite of love is fear. The absolute highest vibration is love and the lowest vibration is fear. And if you really start to think about it. Think about all of the emotions that we feel and we experience. You can really boil them down to two emotions love or fear. You're either in a love state or a subcategory of love joy, gratitude, happiness, all of these subcategories of love, happiness, all of these subcategories of love or you are in a fear state, which is anxiety, worry, stress, judgment, all of the low vibrational emotions. But they really boil down to the two emotions. And then I really want you to understand or start to get curious and question yourself how can I bring more love back into my life? Because I'm going to be bold and I'm going to tell you that you can absolutely be in a love state while on your fertility journey. And please know I'm going to pause here for a second because I know that's triggering for some of you. I know things like that would have absolutely triggered me, but that's what I'm here for. I'm here to get you to that place. Yes, you have to do the work. I can give you all the tools. If you don't employ the tools, your results vary. But when you absolutely employ the tools, you can be in a joy state. I have an upcoming episode. I don't know if it's going to be the next one or in a couple from now, but it is called the Universe Loves, and because you can have your cake and eat it too and that can be incredibly hard to believe you may instantly have a judgment about it or a flash thought of yeah, right, maybe for you I'll share this.

Speaker 1:

Guys, the first time I've heard someone say to me everything happens in its right divine timing. It was someone who was in my morning reading group, so I knew there was no malice intended. I knew that absolutely. She was saying it from a point of love. We were studying the same material. She had been studying a lot longer than I had, so I knew she was giving me the best advice. I didn't take it to heart in a bad way, but in full transparency. The instant thought that came to my head was you aren't embarking on a fertility journey and you don't have my circumstances, you don't have the things going on in my environment. So yeah, it's way easier for you to say. My response back to her was thank you, I'll journal about that. I really did journal about that, and the first couple of times I journaled about it it was a negative response because my belief and my assumptions were it's easier for her because she doesn't live in my space, she's not in my reality experiencing my things, and someone who's never embarked on a fertility journey. You don't know the emotional roller coaster, you don't know the effects of fertility treatments and physically paying for something that we're supposed to be able to do naturally.

Speaker 1:

So a few weeks later, in our morning group, the topic was brought up again about everything happening in its right divine timing. And do you want to know what? I kept studying? I kept asking myself do I believe everything happens in its right divine time? Do I believe this, do I believe that? And I started to return to a state of love. And in our morning reading group, when we were having this discussion, I instantly said yes, I absolutely believe everything happens in its right divine time. I was shocked and I started to actually feel it. I kept pushing through. I kept really understanding me, how I tick, what I do differently, what I could do differently.

Speaker 1:

And I started looking back at my very first fertility journey. What had changed? I had turned back into a state of love. I focused on what it is that I wanted. I put on my rose colored glasses, if you will. I stopped paying, focused on what it is that I wanted. I put on my rose-colored glasses, if you will. I stopped paying attention on what was happening in my world around me. Yes, I physically showed up to doctor's appointments. I heard what the nurses and doctors said.

Speaker 1:

I got the phone calls with like crushing news and, yes, I allowed myself to grieve and, yes, I allowed myself to feel those emotions. And, yes, I allowed myself to feel those emotions. And then I got real, raw and hard and real with myself and said where do I want to be? If I understand and I believe that I'm incredibly powerful, where do I want to be? And this is the thing yes, I'm allowed to spend as much time grieving as I want. I'm allowed to do whatever I need to do to process these emotions and not push them down. However, where do I want to be? I want to go, using my higher mental faculties, I want to live in my imagination, I want to visualize and I really want to tap into the feelings where everything I desire exists. And I did, actually studying this material. Yeah, I fell off the bandwagon because I had just started and I had a miscarriage and it was a very long, drawn out process and it was hard.

Speaker 1:

So, yes, I very much understand if someone would have said to me at that point so, yes, I very much understand. If someone would have said to me at that point, you can be in a love state. It would have triggered me and again I would have probably had the same thought I had when I heard everything happens in its right divine time. I would be like nice for you to say I'm glad it worked for you, but you can always return to a love state. It does not matter what walk of life you come from. It does not matter your race, your religion, it does not matter your past. We all have the absolute same mental faculties. We all have the ability to employ them. We all have the ability to learn our power. And that's what I do in Fertility Fusion.

Speaker 1:

I honestly wish I had me when I was going through the fertility journeys. And I mean, I honestly wish I would have had me going through my fertility journeys and I say that not because I'm tooting my own horn. I wish I had someone talking to me and really pulling me through the dark times, someone cheerleading me, someone to look at my situation very differently and show me yes, you've got this. Yes, I did it by myself the first time, but do you know how much more love I could have been in? More love I could have been in? Do you know how much I fell off the bandwagon, if you will, in my first journey Because I didn't know any different?

Speaker 1:

I want each and every one of you to live your life with passion, to live your life on purpose, to live your life watching your dreams and desires unfolding in front of you. There's nothing special about me that you don't have within you, and I really want to share this with you guys. I want you to think about this, like really think about this. I want you to think about you. How are you showing up in your fertility journey? Are you in a fear state? Are you in a love state? Are you back and forth between the two?

Speaker 1:

In Fertility Fusion, we talk about standing in the gap, where your reality is in the fear state because you're living in your five senses. You're observing your reality. You're observing everything going on around you, and this is the thing when you are so programmed to live in your five senses, you live in them and then you create a feeling about them. You can also live in your higher mental faculties and create feelings there as well. In a love state, you can stop paying attention. In Fertility Fusion, I teach you about living in both, how your world is telling you one thing but you're living more in your imagination, and how you can keep being in your imagination, in your imagination, until you mesh and fuse so that everything ends up going into the love state.

Speaker 1:

Because the truth is is when we're left to our own vices, if you don't have a coach, if you don't have something, it's easy to fall off. It's easy to fall off the bandwagon. It's easy to just say, yeah, I got this, I can do this on my own, I'm good, I'm good. But then you're left to your vices and you listen to the podcast and you get off listening to the podcast, you're done, and everything just falls right back into place. Our paradigms are that strong. Our paradigms are that strong.

Speaker 1:

So what I want you to think about if you look at your fertility journey right now, do a bird's eye view, look back at everything. How is it that you can see? Are you in a love state or a fear state? Think about if you were watching a movie right now Exact same person, exact same situation, 100%, living in a fear state. You can feel the heavy. You can watch this movie unfolding this character living this life. You watch them stumble and then get back up and then stumble, and it takes them longer to get back up and stumble. You feel the heavy. You see how the darkness of the fear is like a thick, dense fog. It's really dimming the person's light is like a thick, dense fog. It's really dimming the person's light.

Speaker 1:

Now take that exact same character, that exact same person, that exact same scenario, but you put them in a love state. Yes, contrast will always exist, so you will see them stumble, but they get right back up. You see synchronicities. You see things happening easier. You see the love and the joy and the happiness emanating from them. Now think about how you can apply that to your fertility journey. Which would you rather be? In the place that you are right now, where everything is feeling hard, you're living in a place of hope. I hope that this next transfer or this next procedure or this next XYZ is it, but I don't really believe it. I'm just hoping, because everything up to this point has shown me it's not working that there's a really good possibility I might not have what I want to have? Or do you want to live in a love state where you don't accept your reality, where you live in a state of love, where you wake up every day excited for a brand new day?

Speaker 1:

You don't say things like I'm infertile. You don't say things like I'm on and you know I'm struggling with infertility. You can say things like I'm on a path to creation. I'm creating a beautiful life right now for me, myself and me and my family, or me and my partner. Think of the word fertility itself. You rarely hear me say infertility because that has such a negative connotation to it, but fertility itself is birth, it's creation, it's growth, it's expansion. Think about that. You can say I am on a fertility journey because I'm on a growth, I'm on a path to creation, I am creating a version of me that I love, and everything is going to unfold exactly the way I want it to. That may not be the exact path. You may not get pregnant the exact time you think you're going to, or your baby might arrive in a different way, but you absolutely can be in a state of joy. It's again. It's like going back to this crystal ball if I told you. This was absolutely guaranteed. You were going to have guaranteed, you were going to have your baby. You were going to have the life of your dreams. You would wake up more inspired. You would wake up happier than being in the state of fear, living in the uncertainty, looking at your finances, looking at all of the things and guys.

Speaker 1:

I want to reiterate I know how easy it is to be in the fear state. I've lived it, I've done it and in full transparency, I still fall back into it. But as soon as I fall back into it, it doesn't last long for me because I remind myself am I in a fear state or am I in a love state? Because this is part of fertility. Fusion is getting to identify being in these different states and how to quickly bring yourself back, because once you know something, you can't unknow it and you'll start getting uncomfortable being in the fear state, thinking I don't want to be here. This is no, this doesn't feel right and this is not productive to me. This is not going to help me and you will start to bounce back faster. I want you to understand there is so much power about living in a love state. In a love state, I will be fully transparent, guys, because this is who I am. I'm an open book. I don't believe in hiding things. I don't believe in saying things differently when I first started.

Speaker 1:

Yes, there was moments I chose to get up earlier in the morning, before everyone was up in my house, because I knew how busy our schedules were and I knew how tired I usually felt in the evening and my attention was not as great as it is first thing in the morning. So, yes, I had those moments of my goodness. It would be nice to sleep in today. It'd be really nice to not have to get up and do these things. It would be really nice if I could just get pregnant on my own and not have to do anything different. But even when I had those moments, I pushed through and I would do my studies or I would do different things, and I always felt so much better and it became such a habit for me that I look forward to it. I no longer think, oh, my goodness, do I have to get up early to do this? I just I want to sleep in. Yeah, there are some days that I sleep in until seven o'clock. That's a sleep in for me, and I think, oh, I feel so rested, that feels so nice.

Speaker 1:

But I know, no matter what, I will schedule in my day to do my practices and reminding myself all throughout the day to return to a state of love, it's easy to slip in and out. So please don't hold judgment to yourself. Don't hold judgment when you see someone else and you say it's easier for them. They're on the other side, or they weren't on a medical protocol that I was on, or they weren't on their fertility journey as long as I've been on. It's a judgment, it's a fear state.

Speaker 1:

I want you to understand. I specifically design Fertility Fusion in four quadrants really understanding your foundations. The first three lessons are about you understanding you. The first three lessons are about you understanding you, and then the next three lessons are about really building this new version of you that you can hold on to. And the last six lessons are really really building them together, really understanding how you work, how you absolutely can find love and joy on your fertility. You can have your cake and eat it too. I want you to know you are incredibly powerful. I want you to understand I hold a belief each and every one of you, no matter your past, no matter anything, your past, no matter anything. You are absolutely meant to have the things that you desire, including your family. You are. And again, guys I know that's hard to hear and I know the judgmental statements that instantly want to pop into your head. I want to see each and every one of you as a guest on my podcast if you're open to sharing your journey, because I want you to have what I have. I want you to know that you are worthy enough to have this, that you are meant to have these things. We are just so bogged down with virus code. Our internal programming is just getting by because we're told to live in our five senses. There's no one telling you. Live in your rose-colored glasses, put those on and go to your imagination. Really focus on what it is that you want. Really focus on your desires, your goals and dreams, say I am statements In the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Speaker 1:

He talks, he gives a scenario of someone who is quitting smoking and exact same situation two people quitting smoking, same age, same kind of lifestyle. One says they're offered to smoke and the gentleman says I'm trying to quit, no, but thank you. The other gentleman says I don't smoke. Who do you think stayed on the path of becoming a non-smoker and never smoking again, on the path of becoming a non-smoker and never smoking again? The one that says I'm trying, who still believes and holds that I'm trying to quit smoking, versus the one that says no, thank you, I don't smoke.

Speaker 1:

What are your? I am statements, I am on a growth expansion journey, or I am dealing with infertility, I am suffering, I am in a state of love. I really want you guys to understand when you are persistent, when you change your assumptions and change your beliefs, you change your world. I know that may seem woo woo, but try it, try it. I want you to understand you can always return to a state of love, no matter how much you struggle, there's always, always, always love, and love is light. And no matter how much fear, which is darkness, can feel thick and dense and heavy and really dim that light. Gabby Bernstein has a quote that you are light, so shine bright, because the brighter you shine, the brighter the world becomes. Imagine we all lived in a state of love instead of a state of fear. How different things would be.

Speaker 1:

Think about your own life, every area. Sure, just focus on your fertility journey if you want, but really every area of your life. And, yes, sometimes it can feel daunting, yes, it can feel like my gosh. I just want to sleep and I don't want to have to journal today. I don't want to have to do this, I don't want to have to do that. But think about how much better off you will be when you choose your thoughts and then you become your habit. You do this every single day that you just wake up naturally and want to do this. It's not something you have to think about. It's something you look forward to doing and think about how much more beautiful your life can be. Really think about how much more beautiful your life can be.

Speaker 1:

So, yes, you can return to a state of love, but journal and ask yourself what can you do to add more love into your life? Maybe there's a certain area of your life. Maybe you need to add more love to your finances. Maybe you need to add more love to your finances. Maybe you need to add more love to how you feel when you show up, when you go out in public or you go out with family or friends. Maybe you need to add more love to your relationship with your partner. Maybe it's struggling, maybe there's a little bit of resentment or anger, or you're both just so exhausted from being on this fertility journey. Maybe you need to add love to. When you hear responses from people.

Speaker 1:

You can always flip your perspective. When someone said to me everything is always working out for you, I thought in some areas, yeah, but not on my fertility journey, no, how is this working out for me? I journaled that one for a really long time and I really truly believe that my fertility journey worked out for me. You would have asked me that, going through them, I wouldn't have agreed with you, but that's because I didn't know better. My secondary fertility journey when I started seeing the synchronicities lining up, I really started to say, yeah, absolutely, this is working out for me. This is working out for me. Yes, does it mean that there is a lot more things that I have to do? I started flipping my perspective of it's not just one night of being intimate with my husband and getting pregnant in the next 10 months, 40 weeks. I'm doing this all on my own.

Speaker 1:

My husband and I were able to flip the perspective. I started talking differently about what we were going through and he jumped right on that train. I thought you know we get to spend more time together, we get to be involved. Whether he could come to appointments or not with me, I would call him on my way home, or if I knew that he was busy, he couldn't answer the phone. We make sure that we connected on our lunch breaks that we could talk about what was going on. We were involved together. You can have that same thing. We started getting excited. We knew the exact day that we were going to become pregnant, if the implantation took. But we knew those days. We got to see our embryos and we got to have videos of those.

Speaker 1:

As much as there was a lot of uncertainty, as much as there was so much emotional roller coasters and I think of all the injections, I think about all the interlipids, I think about all the crazy things that I went through and I would do it again. I would absolutely do it again. I would absolutely do it again Because I know how incredibly powerful I am and I know I create my outcomes. I absolutely believe that. Can you hold that belief? If you can't, why not? What's stopping you? This is the point about getting curious with yourself. Why won't you allow yourself to believe that you can be in a state of love. Why Keep those seven layers of why going?

Speaker 1:

I am so, so, so excited to see each and every one of you in Fertility Fusion, because you are worth it and you also deserve to have someone in your corner cheering you on. And you also deserve to have someone in your corner cheering you on, someone that can look at your journey and still keep guiding you to where you need to go. You also deserve to be in a community, in a safe place, where you can ask questions, because, guys, when I felt resentment towards my husband, I couldn't always talk to him, but my friends didn't know anything about fertility treatments and injections and medications and the emotional rollercoaster I felt alone. I wish I would have had a community of people that were in a like-minded state where they really believed that they could change the outcome of their fertility journey I've shared with you. The groups that I was part of on social media were filled with dwindling hope. I couldn't really be part of them because I just thought I can't accept this as my reality and I don't want to know how hard it could be.

Speaker 1:

You are worthy, you are worthy, you are enough and you absolutely deserve to have what you desire. I'm incredibly proud of you for being here. I am sending you so much love and I can't wait to be celebrating you. And I can't wait to be celebrating you. Always remember, return to love, have an amazing day. I want to express my deepest gratitude for you tuning in with me today. I am proud of you and I am sending you so much love. I want you to remember that you hold incredible strength and power within you. If this episode resonated with you or you know anyone that would benefit from hearing, please share. And if you haven't done so already, head over toify or apple and please leave a rating and a review. In love and light, jessica.