The Fertility Mind Podcast

S2 | E10 Perception

• Jessica Friesen • Season 2 • Episode 10

Share episode

Send us a text

Hey, Hey, Welcome Back!

Today, I discuss the profound impact our perceptions have on the canvas of our reality.  

We all have layers of emotional impacts that contribute to our perceptions. The more we live in our five senses, the more we feel and create our reality on repeat.   

Let me ask you this: What is your perceived reality? What if you look from a different perspective? Would it look the same? 

In Love, Light and Gratitude
Jessica xxx

Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Fertility Mind podcast. I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back.

Speaker 1:

Today we're talking about perception and how perception is absolutely creating your reality. I'm diving right in and I want you to journal this and ask yourself what is your perceived reality, what's going on in your environment and how are you feeling? I want you to get so crystal clear on this, because this will be a big awareness for you. Where is your perception? The beautiful thing about perception is it's one of our higher faculties. We have six higher faculties. In lesson 5 in fertility fusion, I talk all about all six higher faculties, but I'm talking about perception today, because perception gives you the chance to change your perspective or flip your perspective or look at someone else's perspective. It gives you the chance to entertain a new idea. It gives you the chance to ask yourself questions of am I perceiving this to be truth or fact, or could I possibly be perceiving what I'm going through in a different way than it could be? Because of all of the layers of emotional impacts that we have gone through? We are so trained to live in our five senses and in our five senses it can trigger emotions and memories and feelings, and then, once we feel those emotions and feelings, it's re-brought up and we're living in the past instead of the present or instead of going to the future. You are always being brought back to your past with your five senses. Your perception is something that I think is such a beautiful tool, because your perception absolutely creates your reality and the reason I'm on fire right now and why I'm so excited because I had a full circle moment this weekend and I'm sharing something really, really, really personal with you guys in a sec.

Speaker 1:

This weekend I went to Great Wolf Lodge with my family and it was so fun, and this is the first time that I really allowed myself to be fun. I knew that my perception creates my reality. So I said to myself I'm just going to live in the moment, I'm going to have fun, and this is the first time I get to fully, authentically be me and it was amazing. I'm sharing this because the very first time I got to go to Great Wolf Lodge, my perception in life was I was dealt a really shitty hand in life. Always looked on the optimistic side of it. I was always a very optimistic person. I loved that about myself.

Speaker 1:

But my perception was I was dealt a really shitty hand in life and as more contrast and more things showed up in my life. Of course, I married a man who had three children. I absolutely love my older girls, my step daughters, and when we got to go to Great Wolf Lodge, our perception of money was so different. I would look in my bank account daily and it dictated how we bought groceries. It dictated how we saved so that we could do something like Great Wolf Lodge. It took us a while to save to do those things, and if we were going to do those things, we had to really live in the moment, right Because we only get to do it once, and when we would spend money on things at Great Wolf Lodge, I could feel myself thinking like, okay, what do we have to cut back on? Because I don't know if we saved enough money for this. We saved enough money for the hotel, but you know all the added expenses that I wasn't aware of.

Speaker 1:

I was not able to live in the moment. My perception of money was awful. I loved being a stepmom, but we were also going through infertility. So when I was seeing the pregnant women, I was seeing the young, young babies. I was hearing the little kids with their delightful screams going down the water slide and splashing in the water park, hearing mommy, daddy and all my thought. The duality that I was experiencing was I am grateful that I get to be here with my little girls and I get to experience this, but will I ever hear this? Will I ever hear someone call me mom? I even went as far guys, if my older girls, if they decide they ever want to have kids when they're older, will I get to be called grandma or will I just be Jess, jessica, jay?

Speaker 1:

I couldn't live in the moment because of my perception. I lived in a lot of perceptions people put on me because there was an age difference, because I was a stepmom, the stigmas of being a stepmom, the complications or contrast that can go on with blended family life. I lived in a lot of perceptions and these perceptions were not helpful and I really held on to. Life was really hard, no matter how good of a person I thought I was and doing all the right things and trying to people please and trying to make sure that everything was always so smooth and just show my little girls how much I love them and how excited I was to be in their life, all while feeling like I want to maintain doing family trips and things with them. But we're paying for infertility and am I going to ever have this? Oh, my goodness, the duality guys.

Speaker 1:

So getting to go to Great Wolf Lodge, not fearing or in the perception of what people thought of me because the three little girls that I was at the water park with didn't call me mom, driving down there, them being so excited to show me all around and all while telling me when mom and dad took us here last time, this is what we did and I can't wait to take you on this slide. It was such a crazy experience I don't know how to explain it Knowing that they you know they're their kids, they're just sharing their exciteness, but also feeling and living within my own perception, my own self image of being the second wife, you know, going through infertility and knowing that this wasn't their first time. They had been there many, many, many times before me as a family with their mom and dad, and I'm the stepmom. I lived in so many different places and I don't talk about my stepfamily, my blended family life, on social media often, because it's not just my story and this we're talking about fertility, not that.

Speaker 1:

But I do very much have a unique aspect to me because I got to experience certain things but my perception, guys and being bleak and I'm being honest, my perception was very bleak. I was so ruled by my perception and living in other people's opinions of me and what I should do and what shouldn't do and all the things I couldn't see past them. My perception was bleak. Now that I'm through a lot of those things, if I would have known how my perception controlled and created my reality, I wish I had this information because I would have done things so differently. But I also truly believe that I learned this information when I was ready to hear it. I changed my perception around money. I changed my perception around stigmas, around blended families and ideas about me and all these things. When people didn't know me, I let go of a people-pleaser version of me. I let go of what people might think. I started living for me. I changed my perception about how I could think differently, I could do things differently. And, guys, here's the blunt truth.

Speaker 1:

When I first started studying mindset and manifestation and law of attraction and all of these things, my perception was I'm burnt out. Everything feels really hard. The only thing I could anchor to was gratitude that I was quote unquote one of the lucky ones because I was able to have my twins. I knew I wanted to have a second pregnancy, but I was battling my perception that I was so greedy. I knew how many people were struggling with infertility, so how dare I be greedy to ask for a second pregnancy? How dare I put myself and my family through this too? I again. My perception was life was really, really, really hard. When I signed up for my first program, the first thing I did is I changed my perception because if I looked at my bank account, we were so close to going into overdraft every single week or month. So how could I possibly invest in myself to change our family, to manifest my last pregnancy, to do anything different? I just knew that my perception of life was bleak, it was hard, and all I could anchor to was gratitude Gratitude that I still had my babies, I had my husband and I had my stepdaughters, that I was still perceiving life to be effing hard. I still heard the story yeah, you were handed a pretty crappy hand in life, but you're doing okay. That's all that matters, right? You're doing okay.

Speaker 1:

Going back to my bank account, I looked and I made a decision. I said I will find a way. I will find a way to pay for this program, because I knew that this was not how I was supposed to be living life and I knew, day by day, my twins were getting older and I wanted them to experience a life that I never got to experience. I wanted them to grow up with a mom who was happy all the time, not a mom who was crying and sad and really living in some deep, dark perceptions of her reality. I want you guys to know I changed my perception of money.

Speaker 1:

I started to really understand how money is energy. It is an exchange. Before my perception was it came through my job. My husband and I were both on fixed salaries, so the only way money could come in was if we started to side hustle or we got a raise or we changed jobs. Somehow I changed my perception because I started asking myself what if I could invest in this course? What if I could do something?

Speaker 1:

I changed my perception around money. I said there's going to be a way. I knew there had to be a different way of living. This could not be my life. I found a way to invest in my program and I saw my perception changing.

Speaker 1:

I learned the way I operated. I learned how I was perceiving my world. I learned that my underlying thought was I was dealt a really crappy hand in life. I started looking at my fertility journeys because that perception of my fertility journey was it's cruel, it's unfair, it's hard. What did I do to deserve this? Why in God's name do I have to do this? Am I not a good person? You name it. I felt it. That became part of my perception and the more and more I connected with, my fertility journey was hard and it was unfair the more it kept showing up in my reality. Life was hard. It was unfair when I started changing my perception of how my world was my oyster. I am powerful. I get to change me. I get to control how I think. I get to get curious and ask myself my perception. Right now, when someone says something, is it a comment? Is it a compliment? Am I taking it a certain way because of my layers of emotional impacts, or is there a different way that I could possibly be taking that? Am I focusing on what I want or am I focusing on what is going on around me all the time and creating more of that and keeping that in my reality?

Speaker 1:

It was so incredibly freeing to go to a place that I had been before, where I cared what people thought about me, where money was so scary tight that I couldn't really enjoy spending and I felt sick to my stomach. But when I was going down the slides and I was splashing in the waves with my three little girls, it was fun. I lived in the gratitude that I still got to experience these experiences. It just wasn't the exact same because they weren't biologically mine and they didn't call me mom, by all means, guys. I do need to say this because it's social media. I never imposed upon my older girls to call me mom. That was a sacred name. If they wanted to, they were welcome to, but it was never told that they had to. I don't know why I feel called to share that. I just did. But I wanted you guys to understand. I went from a place.

Speaker 1:

I then flipped my perspective and my perception of my fertility journeys. Yes, it's easier once you're through them to look back and change your perception, but I was studying mindset and manifestation on my secondary journey and I was changing my perception all the time. What if it could work? It is working. If everything lines up. This is how it's going to go. I don't want to focus on all the uncertainties or all of this or all of that. I kept changing my perception to create my reality. I changed my perception around my whole entire fertility journey that this didn't happen to me. It happened for me.

Speaker 1:

I know this one is a hard one to swallow for some of you, because when I first started trying to change my perception on this, I met a lot of resistance. I'm being honest. I met a lot of resistance to it, but I really did, kept saying I really believe that everything happens for me, whether I experience it in ease and flow or I go through it with resistance and contrast. I told myself that these two journeys taught me so much about myself. It gave me a drive to grow. It allowed me to uncover my true inner strength and know that I am capable of anything. It allowed me to understand that I have such thing as a perception and I get to change it. It showed me that I have a voice. And now I created a business and I created my passion. I found my purpose. I get to help each and every one of you. I can't tell you how much that means to me. This is all because I changed my perception.

Speaker 1:

My perception was bleak. It wasn't great. I was optimistic, but life always felt hard and the more I connected to how hard it felt, the more I observed it. Fail transfers after failed transfers, unexpected bills constantly happening. Feeling like, how am I going to pay for the next fertility treatment? How am I going to do this? Feeling like every time I just got ahead, something else started to fall apart. I am telling you with all of my heart change your perception and your reality changes. I change my perception about every area of my life and the ones that I avoided the most. It was truly because of fear Fear of opening myself up to get hurt, fear of opening myself up and being exposed and vulnerable and judged and mistreated. But the more I changed, my perception, my reality changed and it's still changing.

Speaker 1:

My coach gets me to think differently in ways I didn't even think I could think, and I love her for it, because she challenges me and she goes. This is what coaches do. There's a certain area of my life in that I really want to grow, I really want to expand. So I hired myself a coach, because the thing is it's not about just taking a program and doing something. When you have me as your coach, I am your cheerleader and I have walked this path. I have embodied this information and I am here for you. And it really starts with your perception your perception of money, your perception of your fertility journey, your perception of your relationships, your perception of work, your perception and whole outlook on life.

Speaker 1:

Right now, how are you feeling when you write down? This is hard, this is unfair. I felt it too, but you guys have me here right now, in your ears and in your hearts. I'm calling you to change your perception and watch your reality change, because I am so dang proud of you for listening, I am proud of you for recognizing. You have the power within you and you are manifesting and you are connecting to me for a reason Because you really understand you were made for so much more.

Speaker 1:

Change your perspective, change your perception. Your reality changes. I love you so much and I am so proud of you. So, thank you, thank you, thank you for being here with me today, and I really am excited to see each and every one of you in the next round of fertility fusion. I love you. I want to express my deepest gratitude for you tuning in with me today. I am proud of you and I am sending you so much love. I want you to remember that you hold incredible strength and power within you. If this episode resonated with you or you know anyone that would benefit from hearing, please share, and if you haven't done so already, head over to Spotify or Apple and please leave a rating and a review. In love and light, jessica.