The Fertility Mind Podcast
Welcome to my podcast. I share Raw, unfiltered stories of the Infertility world. Throughout the episodes, I share my own success with IVF, and you will hear from my guests about their success in the Fertility world. I will also share tools and techniques of Mindset and Manifestation. I have first-hand experience with how mindset and Manifestation changed the trajectory of my journey. I have since then applied this to every area of my life, and the transformation is beautiful. I know this is just the beginning. This podcast means so much to me because, In 2014, I found myself in the middle of the Fertility world, feeling alone and searching for hope. Everywhere I searched on social media, looking for a connection with others on the same infertility journey, I only found dwindling hope. In 2019, when I entered the Fertility world again, I reached out on social media, but it only seemed worse. It became my mission to spread hope with success stories, have open conversations about medical protocols and create connections. A positive community for others to feel supported, uplifted, and know they are not alone.
The Fertility Mind Podcast
S2 | E7 Habits
Hey, Hey, Welcome back!
When I embarked on my own fertility journey, the emotional rollercoaster was overwhelming, but it was the shift in daily habits that truly paved the way to my success. This episode of Fertility Mind podcast is a treasure trove of insight into how such small changes can make a monumental difference. We’ll explore the emotional roots of your daily routines.
Habit change isn't just about the actions; it's about the mindset. This conversation dives deep into the psychology of habits, revealing how thoughtful choices can help you navigate the challenges of fertility with grace and empowerment. From the power of one's music playlist during drives to a fertility clinic, to the affirmations that bolster our self-worth, every choice is an opportunity for growth. You'll learn why limiting habit changes to one or two at a time can amplify your progress.
In Love, Light and Gratitude
Jessica xxx
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Welcome to the Fertility Mind podcast. I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back. Today we are talking all about habits, and I want to get you to do these three things before we start. So the first thing I want you to do is I want you to think about the habits that you know you have and I want you to write them down. The second thing I want you to do of the habits you've just written down, I want you to think about how they are impacting your life and I want you to write down are they contributing to your life or maybe they're holding you back, and the last thing I want you to do is I want you to write down habits you want to change, because habits run our life. Habits can be habits we are conscious to and habits can be some things that we're unconscious to. And the very interesting thing is, a lot of habits have been formed based out of emotional impacts. So, for example, think about this, like when you were a kid maybe, when you went out places and you had to be somewhere at a certain time, your family was always early and you were left with the emotional impact of, like your superboard or maybe it was awkward. Think about that. You're thinking like, why do we always have to be so early? And then I want you to think about maybe it was the opposite. Maybe, no matter what you did, you and your family were always late for wherever it is that you needed to be, and you felt that stress, you felt that like anxiousness and you did not like that feeling. So when you were old enough and dependent enough to start, you know getting places on your own. You are now. You've created a habit. You will always be on time so you don't feel those emotional impacts.
Speaker 1:Emotional impacts happen and then create. They create a habit out of it, so you don't feel it. You have habits in everything that you do on the way you drive to work or whatever you do on your daily routines. You have your habit of how you get up in the morning. Do you set an alarm and you get up right away, or do you purposely set your alarm to maybe go off 30 minutes before you get out of bed and you hit the sleep button a couple times? These are habits. We have habits of how we dress our body, how we feel about our body, what we eat, what we don't eat. We've created habits in every area of our life. We again we are habitual beings, so you have to replace a habit with a habit and don't do more than two.
Speaker 1:Don't be a smarty pants like me. When I was first learning about habits and we were told never do more than two, I wanted to be a smarty pants. I wanted to do five. I encouraged other people around me to do this challenge with me because I was like, yeah, we're gonna beat the odds, like we're all excited, we're all go-getters, we're gonna do this. We want to bring our manifestations faster. We want to do all these things. We wanted to live our life on purpose. We didn't want to live in the things that we were experiencing over and over again. We wanted change. We were craving change. So if we could do five instead of one or two, like we were gonna get ahead of the game, we're gonna get ahead of the curve.
Speaker 1:Well, we all quickly learned that focusing we were told, one or two for a reason because when we started focusing on three or four or five, our attention was spread thinner, our energy was spread thinner and it allowed our old programming and the chatter to come in that much faster. Because maybe you'd give up one of those things and just focus on four instead of five. Or maybe you would focus on three instead of, you know, instead of five, because at least, like, three is still better than two, right, so you're still ahead. But you would start to feel that failure. You'd start to feel that like, oh, okay, well, this isn't working and your old programming sets in your old habits set in and habits, or even how you talk to yourself, how you allow your thoughts and feelings to feel about yourself. So I want you to understand like, I want you to think about these emotional impacts and I want you to think about how you created habits around them and how you can change them. And yes, you can absolutely change a habit with the habit. And I will say, you know, if you're anything like me, I thought like, but what if this takes a really long time, because I have a lot of habits that I want to change, like I don't want to do this. When you do it one by one, you start to feel the growth. You start to feel different feelings, that you get excited, and some habits can be changed faster than others. Some take more time. It's just how much you're willing to make that committed decision, to commit to it every single day and replacing that pattern.
Speaker 1:For example, if you wanted to be, you know you're not really a morning person and you wanted to become a morning person so you can start living your life intentionally instead of waking up, eat, sleep and replete. A habit can be saying I'm going to wake up today and live on purpose. I'm going to wake up today and I'm going to say, hey, universe, show me the best that you got, show me how amazing today can be. Start doing things. That is a habit you can get into. Or maybe you want to get into journaling, or maybe you want to start a morning routine of gratitude or exercising, whatever it is, but you tell yourself I'm not an early riser. Well, get up half an hour early, get up five minutes, 15 minutes, 10 minutes, 45 minutes. You set the time and start doing it until your body becomes programmed. It's a habit. You're getting up early and then you can go earlier and earlier if you want. And then, all of a sudden, this definition of yourself of I'm not an early riser to I'm an early riser and I'm excited because I'm creating a new routine of gratitude or working out or whatever it is that you want to do.
Speaker 1:I think it's so incredibly important to understand that, yes, you can change a habit with a habit, but understanding why we have the habits that we do and asking yourself the question how is this impacting my life? Is it contributing If you're someone that's always early? Yes, maybe that's contributing because you have that time to do whatever you want. If you're always late and you're always living in that stressed out state, well, maybe that's not contributing to you, that's holding you back. Maybe you have a habit of always thinking super negative about your body because of everything that you've just experienced.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about when you're driving to your fertility appointment. Think about how, instantly, like if you were just driving to work, you'd be driving to work, but it's that mental aspect as soon as you know you're driving to get blood work or do whatever it is for your fertility, whether it's arriving to your fertility clinic or a satellite clinic, however it is. But as soon as you mentally say, okay, this is for my fertility, your body changes, everything changes and you're in a habit of that and maybe your mind instantly becomes a floodgate. You start to think of all of these what ifs? Or you start to review everything that you've already gone through and you start to think like, how much more am I going to go through? How much more do I have to take? What if this, what if that? Is this even going to work for me? Why do I keep doing this to myself? I want you to think about these things. These are your habits.
Speaker 1:Can you change a habit by creating like a pump up playlist that you can listen to, that gets you excited, that raises your vibration, that gets you to where you want to be? Can you turn into an audio, like an audio book, a law of attraction audio book or maybe listen to a podcast. Or do what my husband does he streams Netflix on his phone and he listens to comedy. When he has long drives and he's by himself, he listens to comedy. He just makes him laugh and it's someone in his ear and he's not alone. Or he's not flicking through the radio station to find a song that he likes. It's just something that's really funny.
Speaker 1:Think of different things that you can do. Create a new habit. I want you to start living your life on purpose. Create a habit that, when the negativity or that fear or that inner chatter sets in, my new habit is remembering. I've got choice. So when that steps in, you start to say things like hmm, good to know that old habit is there, that old habit of fear, that old habit of this. But I get to choose my new habit. I get to choose that I'm going to do something small in a big way. I'm going to go to my imagination and feel that feeling, or I'm going to write down my gratitude, or I'm going to create clarity in my mind, or I'm going to remind myself I am worthy, or remind myself I'm powerful. Do all of these things and start creating a very different habit and then you're living your life on purpose versus getting up, eat, sleep, repeat. Yes, you're doing the actions by going to your fertility clinic, but your mind is still in that negative place that has been bogged down with all of the emotional impacts and everything that you've experienced so far.
Speaker 1:I want you to know that you can change a habit of how you look at yourself in the mirror. Think about how you get ready in the morning. Do you truly look at yourself in the mirror? Or if you choose to wear makeup and you're always tilted to the side so you can see yourself with your peripherals, but you're not actually straight head on looking at yourself. Think about how you feel about your body. Think about the habits that you have. When you see other people that have your desires, do you instantly go to that place of I don't know if I'm going to have this? Or you feel that gut wrenching feeling in your stomach? Replace that habit with that's going to be me. That's going to be me like real soon, and get excited. You have this choice where just not programmed to remember how powerful we are. I want you to understand that you get to create your habits.
Speaker 1:When someone said this to me. It really, really, really affected me and I instantly felt resistance. But I feel really called to share this with you because it was almost a profound moment for me. When someone said to me what if you looked at your fertility journey as it's happening for you, not to you and understand that everything happens in its right divine time, that the universe is always working for you, my mind and my old habits and everything, instantly I got so red in the face and I got so upset. I instantly went to well, you have kids.
Speaker 1:Naturally, you don't know what it's like to pay for fertility. You have no idea what it's like to pay for something with an uncertainty. You have no idea what it's like to have paid and had a miscarriage, because sometimes that feels like an even bigger blow. Not only did you pay for this, for this chance, but now you miscarried as well. That's a double emotional impact. I started going in this negative spiral of all the things and all the comparisons of how it worked so much better for this person and they wouldn't understand me. Here's the thing that question stuck with me for a bit. It really stuck with me for a bit and I started asking myself what if this was working for me, instead of happening to me where everything felt like I had no control? If you're someone that likes control, then take control of your mind. If you're someone that needs control, change your habits for a way that they're working for you, because if you're experiencing something over and over and over again, it's because you have a habit and it's not working for you.
Speaker 1:I used to hate time blocking my day. I thought I want to be a free spirit. Yes, I can make plans and yes, when I have appointments and things like, I always show up to those things on time. But I hated living by a calendar. It drove me nuts. And then I started gradually using my calendar because I prided myself on how amazing my memory was. And then I started time blocking because when I was feeling overwhelmed and I was feeling like my to-do list was a million miles long, how was I going to get all of this done in a day? I hate using calendars. I can do this. I'll fit it all in, no matter what. If I'm stuck to a certain time and I don't get it done, I'm just going to feel like I'm losing control. Well, I absolutely love time blocking my day. That was a habit that I've changed within myself. I'm going to time block my day. So, number one, I have a specific time to get things done and, number two, I can actually see how much time I really have and it gives me focused attention. That really changed things for me.
Speaker 1:But going back to me, starting to see how things were working for me instead of to me or against me, I started looking at my fertility journey and I had come across the quote what if your story was someone else's survival guide? And I started documenting my journey and I started saying I am going to be someone else's survival guide. I changed my habit of saying what if this isn't going to work to my story is going to be someone else's survival guide. It went from a place of I don't know if I'm going to have what I want to absolutely because my story is going to be someone else's survival guide. I started telling myself I can't get pregnant naturally, because that's what I was told and I didn't allow my mind to expand further than that. But I thought, if I can't get pregnant naturally, I have the help of my fertility doctors and nurses and they're using their knowledge of science to help me have my dreams. I started feeling gratitude.
Speaker 1:I started shifting in so many different areas. That way I was flipping my habits from someone who once couldn't look at their self in the mirror but without crying, saying like, what is so wrong with you? And what like, why do you, why, why do you deserve this? Like, what did you do? So I look at myself and I smile and I say I am worthy of everything that I could have ever imagined. And everything I do imagine that was habits I had to work on. And, yes, I resisted so much when someone said to me look at your fertility journey as if it's working for you Instead of it's happening to you, because I was in such a state of this is not happening for me, being in a fertility clinic, struggling to make payments, worrying about everything of like, how am I going to come up with the money for this medication and this implantation and this and this, and have the flexibility with my work and do this and still keep up a lifestyle with my stepdaughters and still do this and still do this and not uproot their life because I want to have kids and the guilt and all the other insane emotions that I felt.
Speaker 1:I switched habit, one by one, by one by one. And, yes, when that old habit wanted to creep in, I would say, ah, you're still there. I get to work on you and I get to choose how I want to feel, because I know that that old pattern, that old way of thinking, that old habit never served me. I look back at my life and I connected all the dots. I'm thinking my gosh sometimes, guys. I look back and like, how did I survive those things and I'm not just talking about my fertility journey and I thought, well, I'm thankful for that girl, for what she was. I'm thankful for this woman who she's become and I'm so excited for who I get to keep becoming, because I have tools and I have techniques and I understand that my habits got me to a certain point. But I want to replace those old habits with something new, because this something new is lighting up my life. This something new is focusing on what it is that I want versus focusing on what it is that I don't.
Speaker 1:I want you to understand that habits rule our life, whether we're conscious or unconscious to it. I want you to think of simple little things that you can change, how it can serve you better. You can change the way you feel about your fertility journey. While you're grieving, while you're going through things and, yes, you may and will experience contrast, but you always have the remember of choice, you have the ability to make a decision that, yes, this is where I am right now with what I have, but I'm still going to choose to do something small in a really big way by focusing on my imagination and feeling. That feeling. I'm going to feel that gratitude. I'm going to start flipping the perspectives. I'm going to look at the habits that I have that aren't serving me, whether it's habits of being late, or habits of procrastination, or habits of negative self-talk, or habits of just letting that inner chatter take over and derail your day, week, month, years. Right here, right now, you get to choose your habits and you get to choose what you want to change. You don't need to know the how or the when everything's coming but what you do need to know is that you have a choice and that your habits are ruling your life. So change the ones that are not contributing to you, change the ones that are holding you back, so that you can start growing and expanding.
Speaker 1:Guys, we are spiritual beings. Every one of us is a spiritual being, so we seek expansion and growth and love and light, but yet it's our habits and our way of thinking and our emotional impacts and our environment that keep us small and keep us in this little box that tells us well, at least you're safe here. You don't have to do things logically. You can do things illogically when they're in alignment with what it is that you want, and part of that is understanding your habits and the things that you're doing habitually, day in and day out, that are restricting you from being in alignment with what it is that you want, allowing fear to come in, allowing all of these things to take over. Guys, please trust me. If I can do this, I know you can too.
Speaker 1:I didn't have this special tool. I didn't have all of these things. What I did have was such a strong desire to have my family that I was willing to persist through some crazy things, and I was willing to see where my mind could go. I was willing to see the limits I could push myself to to have what I wanted in a healthy way, and I sought that out through mindset and manifestation and understanding how I work, by understanding where my limiting beliefs were understanding where my habits lie, understanding where my emotional impacts were taking over. Understanding, holding clarity in my mind of what I want, versus holding clarity of all the things that aren't working for me. Living in my environment day in and day out, observing all the things I don't want to observe, I understood there were so many natural laws all around me that I did not know them. I did not know how to apply them, but I was eager to learn and I know each and every one of you listening to this, you're eager to learn, so please reach out, please reach out.
Speaker 1:I'm saying this because I used to be someone the people pleaser version of me. When you know, when I paid for very high ticket coaches and things like that and they would say, yeah, reach out, book a call, do this You'd be like, oh well, you know, it's okay, you're super busy, you've got like a massive clientele, it's okay, I'm just, I'll get to work, I'll do it all by myself. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. No, reach out please. It took me a long time to start being able to reach out, but when I started to reach out and they're like I've been waiting for you, thinking me, why? Why have you been waiting for me? They said that's part of your habit of changing that smallness in you, thinking that you know someone's too busy for you or that someone else is this.
Speaker 1:And when I learned that, I had no problem reaching out and I felt growth and expansion so much faster, I want you guys to know the universe is always working for you, even when it doesn't feel like it. But that's the faith that you have to hold. The universe has everything and it can always work out for you. But if you only believe that when something is aligned and it starts to work, that the universe is working for you, you're missing a part. So change that habit. Change the habit to saying the universe is always working out for me. Change your habit of waking up every morning saying show me the best that you can give me today, show me the best that there is in store for me today. Show me how amazing today can be. Maybe you want to have more water in your life. Just think of the habits that you want and change them. Feel them, love them, grow Like. I'm so serious when I say life is incredible.
Speaker 1:You have to get on the other side of fear, and that also starts with changing some of your habits, because our habits are also formed to keep us small, or our habits are formed so that we don't have to feel a certain way because we've already felt that way before. I could go on and on and on and talk for hours and hours and hours and hours about habits and give you every example in the book of habits and how you can change them and all the things that you want to do, but the point is is I want to leave you with these things, to start getting you moving towards something. Start understanding your habits, start listing the habits that you have, start looking at how it's applying to your life is it serving you or not serving you? And then look at the habits that you want to start changing and list them all down and then list it in priority of the first thing that you want to change and get to work. Make that decision, know that you are enough, know that you are worthy. And, my gosh, send me an email if you've got questions, reach out.
Speaker 1:You have my full permission to reach out to me. This is my heart, this is my goal, this is my mission because, guys, you are so worthy of this. You are worthy of your dreams and I'm here to hold faith and hold your dream for you. When everything feels like it's too tough, I'm here to do that for you, so please reach out. I love you and I'm incredibly proud of you for being here and listening to this, and I'm excited to see where you're going to go and each and every one of you that listened to this podcast episode.
Speaker 1:I am so excited for you to message me and say Jessica, can I be on your podcast because I listened to the things that you told me to do and I have my desired family. I love you and I am sending you so much love and so much light and thank you for being here with me today. I want to express my deepest gratitude for you tuning in with me today. I am proud of you and I am sending you so much love. I want you to remember that you hold incredible strength and power within you. If this episode resonated with you or you know anyone that would benefit from hearing, please share, and if you haven't done so already, head over to Spotify or Apple and please leave a rating and a review. From Love and Light, jessica.