The Fertility Mind Podcast
Welcome to my podcast. I share Raw, unfiltered stories of the Infertility world. Throughout the episodes, I share my own success with IVF, and you will hear from my guests about their success in the Fertility world. I will also share tools and techniques of Mindset and Manifestation. I have first-hand experience with how mindset and Manifestation changed the trajectory of my journey. I have since then applied this to every area of my life, and the transformation is beautiful. I know this is just the beginning. This podcast means so much to me because, In 2014, I found myself in the middle of the Fertility world, feeling alone and searching for hope. Everywhere I searched on social media, looking for a connection with others on the same infertility journey, I only found dwindling hope. In 2019, when I entered the Fertility world again, I reached out on social media, but it only seemed worse. It became my mission to spread hope with success stories, have open conversations about medical protocols and create connections. A positive community for others to feel supported, uplifted, and know they are not alone.
The Fertility Mind Podcast
Reflect, Release, Celebrate and Goal Setting
Hey, Hey, Welcome Back,
I want to Thank You wholeheartedly for such a fantastic first season on my podcast. It has been such an honour to share this space with you.
I am sharing with you my end-of-year ritual that made such an impact on my life.
As the year draws to a close, putting intentions, goals, and desires to the forefront now puts you in motion for the new year. There is such power when you reflect, bless and release, celebrate you and then goal set for the year. Your awareness is in seeing your patterns, re-aligning with your desires and focusing on what you want to bring into your life.
We will go through month by month and look into:
Achievements, Challenges, Growth, Goals, Learning, Gratitude, Mistakes, Happiness, Priorities, Self-Care, Relationships, Impact, Adapting, Balance, Habits, Creativity, Resilience.
Bless and Release all that is not serving us. Celebrate all you have done, and then set your goal and create a vision board.
I am sending you all a big, gentle hug and so much love.
Happy Holidays
See you in the New Year. The Best is Yet to come. So, let's make 2024 your year beyond your wildest dreams.
In Love, Light and Gratitude
Jessica xxx
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Welcome to the Fertility Mind podcast.
Speaker 1:I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back. I am really excited about today's episode because I plan this last December and I say that because over the last five years, I have done different variations of the end of year reflections or different end of year things to start gearing you up for the new year ahead. What I did last December, these exact steps that I'm going to share with you, were something that I found I was incredibly aligned with, something that just felt so good for me, felt so right for me, and I wrote it down and I said when I launched my podcast in 2023,. These are the exact steps that I want to share for my last episode. So this is the last episode of the Fertility Mind season one. Yes, there will be a season two that will resume in January, but I wanted to give you the exact steps that I use and I really wanted to make this the last episode because I wanted you to start implementing this in December as much as you can, because everything you put into motion has already given like keeping you in that momentum in January. If you choose not to start it until January, that's okay too. The whole point of this is not to beat yourself up. The whole point of this is not to hold it in judgment against yourself. This is very much to give you awareness. So you can do this on a smaller scale. You can do this weekly, sorry. You can do this daily. You can do this weekly, you can do this monthly, you can do this quarterly, you can do this annually, and each way you do it, there is an impactful, powerful way.
Speaker 1:I do daily reflection. At night, I like to reflect on my day. It also allows me to have more to work with. I have also done this again in past variations where you did a monthly reflection and you go back and you look at the past month and you reflect. We'll get into reflection in a minute, but you reflect on certain things and then you keep doing this every single month. But the beauty thing of when you do it yearly is that you can look at that each month as a whole and then you can also say so this is what I did in January. Now look what I did in February, because I did my reflection monthly.
Speaker 1:Look how you grow, look how you evolve, and it just broadens your awareness into where fears really stepped in, where you became misaligned with your goal, where you made decisions, maybe not the way that you wanted to, but what you thought you had to. And you do this in every area of your life, but you can do this just for your fertility journey as well. But the whole point of this is to bring awareness to how connected you stayed to your goal and allow you to reflect on amazing things or maybe not such amazing things, but how, now that you've gone through them, what would you do differently? How could you do that differently? So you choose how you want to do it. I truly honestly believe in the power of doing it daily, weekly, monthly and yearly. I truly believe in that. You know, every December there is something so powerful of getting so aligned with the goals and the year that you want to have. That is a couple weeks away, because you are setting an intention, you are making a decision, you are choosing to focus where you want to go with your mind, you are choosing what you want to do next. So doing the end of the year, creating your next year to be more powerful, is something huge. I think that doing it on a smaller scale as well is also very good, because it allows you to reconnect weekly, monthly. However you want to do that.
Speaker 1:I just don't want you to feel the overwhelm, and that's why some people choose just to do the yearly reflection, because they can go back to January and all through the past 11 months and reflect and remember what they want to remember as well. So let's get into it. What is reflection and what are we going to be reflecting on? So I want you to journal, I want you to write down January at the top of your page and I want you to write down your achievements, and you're going to do the same thing for every single month, but so just for note taking right now, put January, and then I want you to put achievements and I want you to think about the things that you achieved. It can be work related, it can be a goal related, it can be things that you achieved in your fertility, like you finally got accepted into a fertility clinic, or whatever. What did you achieve? It can be big, it can be small, but I want you to start thinking about the things that you achieved. I want you to write down challenges what challenges did you go through? And I want you to go month by month, by month. So I want you to do each month at a time, though.
Speaker 1:So when you write down January, you're going to write down achievements, you're going to write down challenges. You're going to write down growth. You're going to write down goals. You are going to write down what you learned. You're going to write things that you were grateful for, mistakes that you made. How would you rate your happiness for that month? What priorities did you take? What self-care did you take? How were your relationships? What impact did you make? What adaptability when I say adaptability? How did you adapt to your environment? How did you adapt to your certain circumstances, your situations, balance oh, balance is a good one. I chuckle at that one and I'll tell you why in a minute. And then I want you to talk about your habits, and then I want you to talk about your resilience. So let's go back to what achievements did you make, big or small? Then I want you to look at your challenges. Did you have challenges in your workplace? Did you have challenges on the home front? Did you have challenges with your fertility journey? Did you have challenges with friends? I want you to write down these challenges.
Speaker 1:I want you to write down where you grew. What did you grow through? Did you grow by expanding, by reading, listening to a podcast, by journaling? By how did you grow? Did you grow through a hard situation that you just you know what? You honestly came through something hard and you said, well, I survived. That's growth. I want you to think about, emotionally and personally and professionally. How did you grow? Did you learn something new in your job and you feel really proud about it and you can now implement it? Maybe it was sales, maybe it was you rolled out a new program at your work. Maybe you got to train a new employee. Think about all of these things, because growth is growth.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about how connected you stayed to your goal. How often was it in the forefront of your mind? How often did you get busy and distracted at work. How often did you say you know what I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I can't do this today? Or even ask yourself did you have a goal? You can have a goal financially. You can have a goal for your fertility journey. You know, for your fertility journey, you can have a goal for everything. I want you to think about all of these areas Now.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about the things that you've learned. Did you learn anything valuable? Did you learn something about how your body accepts or reacts to treatments? Did you learn you're not alone on your fertility journey? What did you learn? Did you learn that you actually really do have a huge supportive system, or did you learn that maybe what you thought you had as a supportive system was not as big or supportive? Did you learn that you're far more resilient? Did you learn that you like to vocally share your stories or you like to stay more introverted? I want you to just think about the things that you've learned.
Speaker 1:Now I want you to think about gratitude. How often were you in gratitude? Again, please, I'm going to reiterate this throughout the whole episode. Do not hold any judgment against yourself if you said, barely, that's okay. This is awareness, so that you know that this month I wasn't in a lot of gratitude and you know what? Maybe you go to February and you're like, oh my gosh, you know what. I got a promotion at work and I won a free trip, or I did this or I did that and I was just so grateful. Or maybe you were grateful because you now had an appointment. You now knew when your next cycle was going to be, you knew what this and that was going to be and you lived in far more gratitude. I just want you to reflect on the gratitude that you were in each month. There is no right or wrong. Please understand this. This is just bringing you awareness so that, when we move into blessing and releasing, you can start to. You will be able to circle all the negative things so that you can work on blessing and releasing those things.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about mistakes that you made, and this doesn't, again, not a judgmental thing. Did you make a mistake, like there was a typo in a text message and it bugged you. Did you make a mistake by overreacting to something? Did you make a mistake by assuming something? You can go as big or as small, the deeper you go here the better, but I want you to think about how you can improve it.
Speaker 1:So when I think of mistakes, one of the things that came up to me the very first time I was understanding, blessing and releasing. I was blessing and releasing my fertility journey and I started to think about the decisions that I made. At every transfer. I went into detail and I remember thinking you know well, a decision that I made was based 100% out of fear. We chose to transfer one embryo over two embryos because we were so terrified. What if we lost all of our embryos? Now that we're using so many and our numbers are decreasing huge, and there was just through again, there was so much fear and, looking back, I made a decision. My mistake was resonating with fear. My mistake was not asking more questions. I just thought, okay, well, this seems like the next logical step. So those are mistakes that I wrote down. Did I feel connected to my decision In a lot of those decisions? Looking back now I can see it In the moment. I knew I wasn't connected to that decision, but I was filled with hope or I was filled with something else Long before I knew about mindset and manifestation. But when I started blessing and releasing my fertility journey and all of those things, I thought, oh my gosh, those are mistakes I made. I didn't ever think to go to a podcast, I didn't think to go to certain things, I didn't think to ask certain questions, and a mistake was, as I made decisions that I knew I didn't feel in alignment with, but I thought this was the best option, so we were just going to do this.
Speaker 1:So I want you to think about those things Again. Please don't hold judgment. I want you to think about your happiness. Think about your happiness, please. How happy were you? Could you find joy throughout the day? Was work a happy distraction? Because you weren't. You were so busy and you enjoy your work that you didn't have to think about what was going on at home and what was going on with your body and all of those things. Were you happy because you have such a great relationship with your friends or your family or your partner? Were you happy that maybe you get to move your body. Maybe you got to be outside. Maybe you got to spend some extra snuggles with a pet or a family's pet or animal, or got to go horseback riding or something that you love.
Speaker 1:Where was your happiness? Was it up and down like a roller coaster because of hormones and because of other things? Where was your happiness? Rate yourself, and I want you to think about, like each month, that whole month. Would you say you were far happier or far more in the opposite?
Speaker 1:I want you to really think about that for a minute and then I want you to start to think about your priorities. Where were your priorities? Were they so focused on waiting for your cycle to start so that you could start psycho monitoring and start gearing up for your next procedure or plan, so that maybe you could start doing your testing, that you could call the doctor, all of the things? Where were your priorities? Were your priorities on self-care? Were your priorities of just getting out of bed for the day? Where were your priorities? Then? I'm going to repeat this Do not hold judgment. As soon as you start to hear that chatter, start on the inside of that judgment to say, no, I'm just learning me. I get the beauty of learning me right now. Then I want you to think about your self-care. Where did self-care happen? Did you make self-care? Was that a priority? Is it something that you chose to do? Or was self-care so at the bottom of the list because you're trying to figure out and manage fertility treatments, fertility appointments, juggling work, trying to juggle everything that's going on with your finances, trying to juggle everyday life. Where were your self-care? Was it good, was it bad? Was it non-existent? That's okay, don't judge, because, again, at the end of the day, when you get to reflect, you get to see where you put your priorities. You got to see where your self-care was. You got to see all of these things so that you can improve them. You can become in alignment with the things that feel good and the things that don't.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about your relationships. How are your relationships going? I mean your relationships at work, your relationships with your family, your relationships with your partner, your relationships with yourself the reason why relationships is a really good one. Because maybe your relationship with your partner is becoming a bit more strained, because there's resentment. Maybe your relationships with some of your friends are becoming a bit more strained because they're now expecting or they don't know what to say to you and it just becomes kind of awkward small talk. Maybe your relationships with your coworkers whether you're open or not about your fertility is becoming strained because, if you want to keep it quiet, they have no idea what you're going through, but they just notice that you're off, you're not your normal self and because you're not sharing it which by all means is your right to do they might just be like something's going on with her. So relationships get strained. Maybe your relationships are booming because you're putting so much effort into your relationships, because you don't want things to go south because of the things that you're going through.
Speaker 1:There's no right or wrong here, guys, I'm just. I want you to think about these things. I want you to think about the impact that you're making on yourself and sorry, let me go back for a second. Go back to relationships. I want you to think about the relationship you have with yourself when you look in the mirror. Do you love yourself when you look in the mirror, whether it's to put on makeup or to brush your hair, or you just happen to be leaving the bathroom and you walk by a mirror or trying on clothes to see if they fit or if it's the outfit you want to wear today. What is the relationship you have with yourself when you see yourself in the mirror? Do you instantly start depicting all the things that are wrong with you? Or do you say, oh, I look cute today. I want you to think about that for a minute and think about how often you passed a mirror or you know, and you said something nice about yourself versus something negative, like, oh, I look tired today. Or oh, like my hair is just not doing what it should do. Think about those things. What is your relationship with yourself Now?
Speaker 1:I want you to think about your impact, your impact with yourself and the impact you want to leave. Do you want to leave an impact at work? Do you want to leave an impact on the world? Do you want to leave an impact in your marriage? Do you want to leave an impact on the fertility world? What is your impact in a way that you can help other people? Maybe you want to start sharing your fertility journey. Maybe you want to be a guest on a podcast, maybe, like what impact do you want to do? Do you want to start openly talking about infertility so that other women don't feel so alone. Maybe your impact is just sharing with your friends things to say to someone that's going through infertility, so people know more things to say, versus the like saying the things that are hurtful, that they're not intending to be hurtful, but that are hurtful. Think about your impact.
Speaker 1:I threw that one in there last year because that was for me as a fertility mindset coach. I was really focused on the impact I wanted to make for me on myself, and this is why I throw it in. What impact do you want to make on yourself? I really knew the impact and the growth that I wanted for me, so that was exciting for me to write down. I knew the impact I wanted to have on my clients. I knew that I wanted to launch my podcast, and that was a bigger, more global scale impact that I could reach so many more people. I knew that my book was launching in January. I knew what impact I wanted to leave, and the reason I do it every month is because this was the impact I set. How often was I connected to that impact? How often did I go in and out of faith? How often was that impact in the fourth front of my mind.
Speaker 1:So then I want you to think about adaptability. How often did you adapt to your circumstances? Were you that woman hiding behind your smile telling everyone yeah, I'm good, thanks for asking, because you were adapting to your circumstances. You knew that you couldn't talk about it, so you fibbed, were. How did you adapt to certain circumstances with your family members? Were you open with them and said, like here's a boundary? I don't want to talk to you about my fertility journey right now, because I know you don't know what to say. How did you adapt? How did you adapt to hearing news, month after month after month, on your fertility journey? Did you keep gaining hope, excitedness? Did you start to dwindle in hope? How did you start adapting to your environment, to your news, to your circumstances?
Speaker 1:Then balance this is the one I chuckle at, because, in full transparency, I have gone in and out of balance. There is some days, some weeks, that I have felt like, oh my gosh, everything feels so in harmony, it feels amazing. And then there is some months where I feel so out of balance. So when I feel out of balance, I would ask myself, okay, what made me feel so out of balance? What was going on in my life.
Speaker 1:Again, where did I put my priorities? Where did I put my focus? Was I connected to my goal? Was I in feminine energy? Was I in masculine energy? And when I mean feminine and masculine energy?
Speaker 1:Masculine energy is not male or female. It means that you are just grinding hard, like where you just putting your head down, working, doing all the things. Feminine energy is the ease and flow. This is your visualization, this is your creativity, this is you. So if you stay in your mind and your imagination and you're creating everything in your mind, but that's all feminine. If you don't do any of the masculine, you're not taking any of the actions. So you need to find that balance and I can honestly say some days I would just want it to live in feminine energy and some days I was just so in masculine energy. I was pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing.
Speaker 1:So my balance didn't exist. Did my balance exist on my home front? Was I making enough time for myself? Was I making enough time for my partner, for my family? Think about your balance. Think about again. I really honestly chuckled at that, because I think I truly ask myself like does perfect harmony exist? It absolutely can. Yes, I'm still working on that. I'm a total work in progress on the balance part. But that's the beauty of doing the reflection I can see on months where I thought, no, like I knew I was totally balanced, like I enjoyed every part of this month. And then, when I wasn't balanced, why wasn't I balanced? What was going on in my life, what was doing these things? So then I can again lessen the release, the things that I wasn't doing. But it allowed my awareness to get to a place where I thought, okay, so I know I don't wanna do that again. You know how can I do things differently now that I've gone through that week, that day, that month, that year. What do I wanna do differently? Now that I can see I was out of balance?
Speaker 1:I want you to think about your habits. What are your habits? Think about your daily routine when you get up every day. What are your habits when you think about if you bought a brand new book, do you go home and read it that night? Or are you so excited to read it? But then, like things happen and it's now set on your nightstand for a couple of weeks? I want you to think about your habits. Have you ever attended a free masterclass and you had full intention on doing the homework but you didn't do it. Or maybe you signed up for a free masterclass, you knew you couldn't attend the live because that happened to be when you were at an appointment or work hours or something full intention of watching the replays, but then you didn't do it because you just got busy. I want you to think of your habits and then look at those habits that aren't working for you. Like some people have habits that they love. Like a habit that I love is doing daily reflection at night before bed. I love working out. I love prioritizing the habits that make me feel good, so habits don't have to be a bad thing. I want you to think of good and bad, because when we get to blessing and releasing, we're gonna go through this list and we're gonna start to circle things.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about your creativity. Do you feel creative? Do you feel like you're not creative? Are you spending time in your imagination? Are you spending time visualizing or are you just doing it? When you quote unquote, have time. Because if it's quote unquote when you have time and it keeps getting pushed to the back burner, you don't hold a belief that you think that this is actually working for you, that when you have time, yes, you'll do it because you have time. Then Time can be a funny thing because if you're not in harmony, that you have time to do all the things that you want you've labeled, you don't have enough time and your subconscious mind has gotten you to work to show you, in every situation, scenario and everything, that you don't have enough time. So I want you to think about your creativity. I want you to think about what you're doing to be creative. Creative can be a fun date night. Creativity can be.
Speaker 1:Maybe you love creating decorations for around your house for different holidays or seasons. I used to have a journal that you could add all these different stickers and stuff to make creating your weekly schedule fun. It was fun to put these stickers and fun to do all these things. On that I was like, yeah, this is fun, I'm excited to do weekly planning. Now what is your creativity? Do you like to do journal boards or not? Journal boards, vision boards, like, just honestly, think about that.
Speaker 1:Where's your creativity? It can be anything. It can be in every area of your life. Are you creative in the bedroom? Because you know what, in full transparency, I've told you in my episode sex felt like a chore for a long time when we were trying to have our baby. It didn't feel we weren't connected. It was for a purpose, it was for a goal. So get creative, do something fun. Make it about connecting versus. You're here for a goal, and especially once you're in the fertility world, how can you bring creativity in? And then I want you to think about your resilience. Resilience is a really good one, because what have you persisted through? You've become resilient. I want you to think of the strengths that you've now discovered, because I want you to understand. You went through some hard things and yet you're still here. You're still here. So think about your resilience.
Speaker 1:Now we're going to get into blessing and releasing. So blessing and releasing I've done a whole episode on blessing and releasing. But you know these steps here break down how you can start uncovering patterns. But you can also bless and release, because as you go through month by month, by month, and you answer all of those questions, you will honestly start to see patterns. You will start to see a lot of things and I want you to circle all the lower vibrational things. So when you think about your happiness if you say I was far more unhappy, circle far more unhappy. You don't like I. Just I want you to start circling things so that you, when you bless and release, we're going to put unhappy in the center, for example, and then you're going to list all the things. So do like a mind map, so you have unhappy in the center, you circle it and then put all the lines off of that.
Speaker 1:And I want you to write all the situations that made you unhappy. Maybe you were waiting from news for you know, a beta test. Maybe you were waiting to see if your embryos fertilized, whatever it is that you were waiting for. Maybe you felt stressed out all day long. That made you feel unhappy because you were stressed. You were waiting on a result. You were waiting to hear from your fertility doctor that you never heard from. Maybe you were waiting to find out if you could do something in work or in a relationship or doing something.
Speaker 1:I just want you to list all the things that made you unhappy. Maybe, again, someone told you that they were expecting and you felt unhappy. You felt the duality, you felt excited for them, but you felt unhappy because all that negative inner self talk chatter started, you know, just talking so loud at you. So I want you to list off all the things that made you unhappy. Maybe you didn't get the raise you asked for. Maybe you didn't get the commissions you were hoping for. Maybe you just had some really bad days. Maybe you got into a fight with a friend or a family member or your partner.
Speaker 1:I just want you to list the things that made you unhappy, because when you do that and I want you to do that for each section I want you to do that for each section because when you look at all the things that you know weren't serving you as well, you were out of balance. Well, what made you out of balance? But you know, where were your strengths? Where were your weaknesses? Circle your weaknesses. Why did you feel those? Was it all connected to fear? Did you become out of alignment with your goal because you started to feel like this wasn't going to happen or that you weren't worthy, or did you start to feel that you were less than? Did you start comparing your journey to someone else? Did you start questioning your motive? Did you start questioning if your fertility doctor or fertility clinic actually cared about you, or were you just a number Like?
Speaker 1:I want you to think about these things and circle them. I want you to write all the reasons why you felt this emotion and then I want you to flip the perspective. I want you to look at all of those things. So, if we're looking at unhappy, I want you to think about If you got news from your fertility doctor maybe your beta wasn't as high as you wanted to. What if you heard that your cycle was going to be canceled? When I mean, flip their perspective on harder things like that.
Speaker 1:I want you to just what would be the opposite of unhappy. What would be the opposite if your cycle wasn't canceled. How would you feel versus how you are feeling? Start to ask your questions how could I feel? What if I was worthy? If I was worthy, I wouldn't experience these things. What is allowing me to feel unworthy or unhappy or all of these emotions?
Speaker 1:When you connect to that feeling, when you connect, I want you to say, okay, well, I'm feeling unworthy. Why am I feeling unworthy? My body's not working the way it's supposed to. I'm not getting pregnant. There's a strain in my relationship with my partner because we're both just mentally and physically exhausted and there's so much uncertainty, there's so much unknowns. So then I ask yourself if there's all of these things, how can you create certainty, how can you create happiness? How can you flip the perspective? I want you to flip the perspective by saying I get to choose my happiness.
Speaker 1:What if I chose to hold a belief, without a shadow of a doubt, that I know that I'm going to have my baby, in whatever form that comes, whether it's through you, surrogacy, adoption, however your baby's going to become, but I want you to get connected with your goal. I want you to get connected. What if you believe that there was this right divine timing? What if you started to flip the perspective that all of these things that you are going through right now were building up resiliency, or building you up to get to exactly where you need to be? That doesn't make it any less painful, please understand. Going through infertility is not an easy journey, and I've had a lot of people ask me how do you flip their perspective on that when I'm still waiting? I talk about diving into your faith. I talk about holding a different perspective.
Speaker 1:If you found out that your cycle was canceled, I honestly started saying things like I know if I had a crystal ball and I could see all the things that are happening around me. I know and I truly believe in divine timing. I truly believe and I didn't always, please understand, I did not always believe in divine timing. I thought things were cruel, I thought things were shitty, I thought things were really effed up. But when I started flipping the perspective on things, when my cycle was canceled and I thought maybe it was canceled for a reason, maybe this was presented for a reason, a reason I may not have an answer to, some people are okay with that, some people are not. Some people need to know the answers and maybe you have the answers. Maybe in my case, I was far too overstimulated. I could not go on with the next cycle without a massive risk of being hospitalized and ultimately very damaging to my health. Maybe you have that answer. How can you flip the perspective to make it lighter that you can let this go? How can you make this easier on you? How are you building resiliency?
Speaker 1:So I asked myself when I felt unworthy because I wasn't getting pregnant, I this so many things. I didn't feel worthy. I didn't feel like my body was doing what it was doing. I didn't feel like I had the same amount in relationships that I put out that I received back. I felt that I wasn't heard. I felt like the list could go on. And when I flip the perspective of but what if I was heard? How would I act and be differently? How could I start showing up differently right now and just taking the big word itself of unworthiness?
Speaker 1:Well, what if I am worthy? Well, if I was worthy, I could start to feel all of these emotions. If I was worthy, I know I'm going to have a baby. Worthiness is never tied up in having a baby. Please understand that. Please know that. So I want you to understand.
Speaker 1:You can flip the perspective on absolutely everything. You need to know how to make it light enough that you can push this on. How can you move this forward? This is blessing and releasing. How can you forgive what is happening and how can you boost your self-confidence? How can you boost you? How can you find more happiness? How can you start doing living right now? I will tell this to you time and time again If you're going through financial troubles and someone said you were going to win the lottery, get an inheritance, money was going to find its way to in the next six months, you would live differently.
Speaker 1:You might live more frugally, knowing that in the next six months money is going to come to you and you're going to be okay, versus living in the fear of I don't know if I'm going to pay my mortgage next week or my rent or my car bill or my fertility treatments. If you had a crystal ball, you would live very differently because you know when things are going to happen. We don't know when things are going to happen, but you can hold a faith and you can very much start right now. How can you bring more joy and love into your life? Can you put things on a priority? Where are you holding your limiting beliefs? How can you flip the perspective? How can you make things easier and lighter? How can you flip the perspective that is for you to decide what is? How can you make it lighter? Find the opposite and start asking yourself those questions.
Speaker 1:When you're starting to find more love and joy in your life and you're starting to focus on your goals, you're starting to focus on your priorities, you're starting to focus on visualizing and doing these things, you're raising your vibration. That feeling of unhappiness or that feeling of worthiness is starting to shift. Just because you're focusing on other things too, you're changing your faith, you're holding something different in your mind. So I want you to bless and release things. Then I want to get into celebrating you Once you've blessed and released all that stuff. That's not serving you. And you can also ask yourself is this thought serving me? Is this thought, is this feeling serving me? If it's not, why do you keep going back to it? Why do you keep holding on to it? And the more you ask yourself why I talk about the seven layers of why keep asking yourself, why seven times to that one thing, until you start to go. Oh okay, do you understand what I mean? So now we're going to go into celebrating you. You're going to go through every single month and you're going to look at your happiness. You're going to look at the things that you've persisted through, because you know what's going on in your life. You know what's going on in your fertility journey.
Speaker 1:How can you celebrate you? Did you have a really good week? Did you have a really good month? Did you have a really good year? Think about all the things that you can celebrate. Are you here right now? Can you celebrate that you and your partner can discuss the next steps? Can you celebrate that you're about to enter a brand new year and you have far more control over it? Can you celebrate that you are taking your mindset into a whole new level because you're listening to this podcast? What can you celebrate right now about you? Can you celebrate that you set a goal and you've started committing to it. Celebrate a new belief that you're choosing to hold. Celebrate that maybe you got connected with someone or something that can help you on your journey. Maybe you found a fellow IVF warrior. Maybe you found a new coach. Maybe you found a free masterclass. Maybe you found a book. Maybe you found a new health modality that just got you excited for you to continue on your journey. What can you celebrate about you? Can you celebrate your resiliency, that you've made it through one hell of an effing tough year and you're still here and you're not giving up? How can you celebrate you and go month by month by month? What are the good things that you experienced this month? Maybe you had a date night and you haven't had a date night in a while. Maybe you connected with someone or something, or you went on a girls trip. What did you do that you can celebrate? How can you celebrate you? Now let's get into goal setting. I want you to write down on a piece of paper you are going to write a handwritten vision board. Here's the thing. You're going to learn something about me.
Speaker 1:I love vision boards, but the thing that with vision boards for me, when I first started doing them, I was so much of a perfectionist. I needed to have the right magazine clippings or the right this or the right that, and if it wasn't, I would start to put them on, but I wouldn't glue them down or tape them down, because I might need to move them around if it didn't look as this gorgeous, pretty collage that I wanted to see. More often than not, the feeling of what I was trying to put on my vision board, of things I wanted to manifest, started just becoming overwhelming because it wasn't looking as pretty as I could see it in my mind, or I wasn't finding the right picture of something. I wasn't doing that, I wasn't doing this. I worked myself out of the feeling and the perfectionist took over, and sometimes I'd even just give up on the vision board. What I always ended up doing was writing. I do have actual vision boards that are with pictures and collages and stuff. Those ones I found very helpful when I was building a nursery, when I was building things, because I could find the perfect crib that I wanted to have. When I would look at it, when I'd hold it up to the room that I knew that the nursery was going to be in, I couldn't see it. I would literally take my vision board and I would put the crib. I could see it and I'd hold it in front of the door and I was like now I can see it in that room. That's how I started doing certain things. I do have some visual vision boards.
Speaker 1:I took a picture of myself. There was a story in Canada called Time Eternity where you could go in and you could try on a bump. It was about an average six-month bump. I put that on so you could try on the clothes. I gave myself an opulence experience. I wasn't pregnant. When I went in and I took this picture, I fibbed to them. I told them I was pregnant. I did also go into the store when I was very newly pregnant and I did tell them I was very newly pregnant. They were like oh okay, it's still very early, I'm thinking. So my point is is I went in, I put on this bump, so I had an actual physical picture of myself with a belly under my shirt.
Speaker 1:Number one I wanted to have an idea of the maternity clothes that I wanted. If you don't feel comfortable doing those things, you don't have to Go on Pinterest, go on Google, find a picture of a pregnant person and cut a picture of your own head and put that on the body. Whatever you have to do. If you need visual things, that's how I could visualize myself with bumps, because I went in, even though it was not a real baby bump, it was a foam bump, but I saw myself in a maternity clothes, clothes that I did not own. I saw myself with a bump and I got so excited I'm like this is what I'm going to look like.
Speaker 1:We're talking about goal setting. For me, goal setting was always about vision boarding too, because this is you're writing out your goals, you're seeing these things. At the end of the day, the most powerful thing that I felt, or that I felt sorry, was writing out your goals, because as I wrote it out, I could feel that feeling there was no perfectionism sitting in there of like, oh, that picture isn't perfect. No, that's not exactly what I wanted when I wrote down my goals, when I wrote down my visions, when I wrote down my dreams. I could go back to that and I could create my own vision in my head. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:So I want you to goal set every area of your life. What do you want your money to look like? What do you want your nursery to look like? What do you want the rest of your fertility journey to look like? Do you want to find more joy in the journey? Do you want to connect more with your partner? Do you want to have self-love? Do you want to reconnect with your friends? Do you want to, more than anything, when you have baby, go to mom and baby groups? I want you to goal set for right now and in a year from now, but not when I say in a year from now. That is for your vision of a baby, because obviously it takes nine months to grow a baby, or less than my twins are born two months early. Excuse me, but I want you to go to that place of thinking long term. So this is where you get to visualize. This is where you get to be really creative.
Speaker 1:Your vision board can be whatever you want. If you're thinking about finances, if you're thinking about a vacation, like, are you going to go on a baby moon vacation, a baby moon vacation is the last vacation you take with your partner before baby arrives. Where do you want your baby moon to be? Is it at home? Is it these spa experiences? What are things that you want to see in 2024? What do you want to see on your vision board?
Speaker 1:You're allowed to plan your dream nursery. You're allowed to plan your maternity clothes. You're allowed to plan what you want. Do you want to have a baby shower? Do you not want to have a baby shower? Do you want to start buying clothes for baby? Do you not want to start buying clothes for baby? Do you want to just feel love and joy every day? Do you want to be in more gratitude? Think of all the things that you want. Think about your first family vacation. Think about the vacations and the things that you and your partner can do right now. Think about the self-care you can do for you right now. What is your self-care routine? How can you amp it up If time and money and judgment and fear were no object.
Speaker 1:What would you want in your life? This is where you get to be creative. You're allowed to say oh my gosh, I would love to have a nanny, I would love to have a house cleaner, I would love to have a private chef, I would love to have my dream car, my dream home, my dream finances, my dream job. I would love to travel the world. I'd love to go on a private jet, I'd love to have XYZ.
Speaker 1:I want you to think of all the things that you want to have and put them on your vision board. Do you want to have a girls trip? Do you want to have more friends? Do you want to join mom and baby groups when baby's here? Because when you're doing your vision board, you want to have small, attainable things, too, that you really want to see, but you also want to have big things Once baby's here. What do you want your life to look like, too? How can you see your life panning out? These are the things that you will do in your visualization, but goal setting.
Speaker 1:When I'm talking about goal setting, there's things that you think you can do, or things that you've already done, but you want to keep doing more of. There's things that you think you can do and things that you have no idea how you're going to do, but you're going to do them because you see that every day. You see that every day and you think I'm going to become a vibrational match to these things. So when you are goal creating and goal setting, I want you to be so emotionally connected to these things that you write down in a high vibration. If your vision board is creating a nursery and seeing yourself with a baby in your arms, you feel that feeling of like holy, this massive amount of love that you're going to feel. Then write down baby. I want you to write down if you're doing your nursery, how amazing if you want to have a rocking chair, how amazing would it be to hold your baby in that rocking chair, singing or reading or just snuggling your baby. So when you put down rocking chair, there is such an emotional feeling connected to that.
Speaker 1:If you put down a trip with your partner or girls trip with your friends, if whatever you put down go to that place. Say, you put down Hawaii, for example. Hawaii is a place that I really want to go to, by the way. So if you put down Hawaii, I would instantly think of like, oh my gosh, the palm trees and the most amazing fresh fruit. You start thinking of all these things. I want you to think of all these things because you wrote the word Hawaii and you can instantly go to this place. You can see yourself getting off a bus or out of a whatever mode of transportation, how you got to the resort or wherever it is that you're going, and instantly being greeted and someone puts a lay on you.
Speaker 1:Think of those things, because everything that you write down when you were vision-boarding, when you were goal-setting, whatever you're doing, you want to be emotionally connected to it in a high vibrational way. Not, I don't even know if this is going to happen. Okay, I want you to very much know everything that you put on this board. You fully intend to come true and you're going to look at this board or you're going to have a goal card where you read a statement over and over and over again. When you read that statement, you go into this place where you're like, yeah, this is happening. If it's a dream house, whatever it is that you want, but I want you to have goals for a lot of areas of your life too. Yes, I know, because this is our fertility podcast.
Speaker 1:Your big goal is to have a baby, but part of your goal could be to have more fun right now, because what if baby doesn't come for another year. Do you want to spend the next 11 to 12 months in a place of wanting and wishing and hoping and despair and all the other low vibrational feelings? Or do you want to change your belief of an all-knowing belief that you have a faith that this is happening and you're allowed to have fun? You're allowed to find joy, you're allowed to laugh and cry all in the same day. You're allowed to do these things? What are things that you want to do for goal-setting? What lights your soul on fire? Maybe you want to start a side hustle in MLM business. Maybe you are an entrepreneur and you want to get your business to a place that you can step away for a little bit, that you have a team so that, when baby is here, you can comfortably step away a little bit and focus on being a baby. Maybe it's focusing on having the best year with your partner of just these amazing experiences at home or out of the house, doing adventures.
Speaker 1:What do you want to set your goals on what light you on fire, what is getting you so dang excited about life? And I want you to go to that. And as soon as you start to have a negative thought of like, oh well, that's not going to happen, say next no, that is not for me. I want to write down the things that I want to have in my life and I'm going to look at this vision board or goal card or statement every day and feel something, because every time that you emotionally connect whether it's visualizing or feeling it and seeing these things you're becoming that vibrational match for them to come to you and be open for them to come to you. Don't allow the thoughts to be like, well, this is not happening. That thought does not serve you. It does not serve you.
Speaker 1:Connect to everything that your heart desires. Write yourself a letter from a year from now, even post that on your vision board, if you want. Write a letter to me and say dear Jessica, I am now pregnant with twins, with a little boy, a little girl. I am pregnant with this, we are due this day. Or go even further we brought our baby home from the hospital two months ago and life is just amazing. Write yourself a letter. Write yourself a letter of how much things can change in a year.
Speaker 1:I want you to feel so much love and gratitude that this is a new year coming, new opportunities, new gratitude, a new look on life, a new mindset. You get to control all of these things. Maybe your word, maybe your whole goal is to be more powerful more powerful in your mind, more powerful in your thoughts, more powerful in your body, more powerful in your finances. Whatever it is that you want to manifest, manifest it. I want you to spend time before Christmas, before all the crazy things, and I want you to get so connected, so connected.
Speaker 1:What feels so right in your heart? What are your desires? Write them out. Nothing's too big and nothing's too small. I want you to do this because the more you do this, the more you become that vibrational match. You tune into that frequency and you bring it to you, but you have to feel that feeling and seeing it and writing out changing your habits. Maybe it's writing in a gratitude journal every day, maybe it's meditating, maybe it's visualizing every day, maybe it's standing in front of the mirror and just telling yourself I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1:Set your goals for what is right for you, what fills your soul on fire, what gets you up so excited every day? Because it's a brand new day. It's a brand new opportunity to do the things that you love. What can you do to bring more joy in your life every single day? I love you, I'm proud of you and, holy heck, let's make 2024 be so ignited, so amazing, so filled with our faith and our beliefs that are serving us and, in all, knowing you are worthy. You deserve to have the desires that you desire, that you are meant to live the life that you want to live. Change your narrative and I will see you in 2024. I love you, I'm proud of you. Happy holidays and thank you, thank you. Thank you From the bottom of my heart for being here with me and sharing my space and allowing me to share my space with you. I love you. Have an amazing, amazing day.