Hey, Hey, Welcome Back!
Hey, Hey, Welcome Back!
Have you ever found yourself in the relentless tug-of-war of comparing your life to others? I have been there, too, and it's time we talk about the emotional rollercoaster of the "comparison game train." In this episode, we'll unearth the roots of this habit and discover how to break free from the chains of childhood patterns, trading envy and self-judgment for a more peaceful and fulfilling existence.I'm honoured to share this space with you and humbled by your courage on your path to emotional well-being. Let's foster a deeper connection with ourselves and those we hold dear, crafting a narrative that resonates with vitality and strength.
In Love, Light and Gratitude
Jessica xxx
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Hey, Hey, Welcome Back!
Hey, Hey, Welcome Back!
Have you ever found yourself in the relentless tug-of-war of comparing your life to others? I have been there, too, and it's time we talk about the emotional rollercoaster of the "comparison game train." In this episode, we'll unearth the roots of this habit and discover how to break free from the chains of childhood patterns, trading envy and self-judgment for a more peaceful and fulfilling existence.I'm honoured to share this space with you and humbled by your courage on your path to emotional well-being. Let's foster a deeper connection with ourselves and those we hold dear, crafting a narrative that resonates with vitality and strength.
In Love, Light and Gratitude
Jessica xxx
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Welcome to the Fertility Mind Podcast. I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international bestselling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back.
Speaker 1:Today I am talking to you about the comparison game. So first question are you playing the comparison game, yes or no? Number two whom and what are you playing the comparison game with? And number three why? I will instantly say that this beautiful comparison game train is very attractive. It's very accessible to get on and we've been getting on it since we were little. So I don't want you to spend any time judging yourself. I do want you to spend time gaining clarity on. Are you on the comparison game train right now? Did you just hop off? Are you about to hop on, and why? And what are you comparison? Oh, my goodness, what are you comparing yourself to? Or whom? Is it your fertility journey? Is it your finances? Is it your relationships? What are you playing the comparison game with? Or why? When you gain clarity, you will start to empower yourself that playing this game is never going to serve you. But I'm going to take you back for a second.
Speaker 1:Go to school age so you understand how we've been doing this since we were little, because we're so programmed to live in our five senses. Think about when you went to school and it was lunchtime. Did you ever look at someone else's lunch? And they had all the cool treats that you didn't. And you compared your lunches. Why do they get the cool treats? You don't?
Speaker 1:Think about trying out for soccer teams or sports teams. Did you always try and go for a certain position? You made the team, but you didn't always get the position, because there's always someone better. Did you compare your body size? Did you compare the things that you had in your house versus what your friends had? Did you compare how maybe your friends were more, their parents were more active and did all these fun things with you, versus what your parents did, because they were always working.
Speaker 1:Really, think about how, at a very young age, you started to compare yourself with someone or something, because someone or something had what you wanted and you didn't know why and you didn't necessarily know how to get it. So you compared and the thing is is that when you get on the comparison game train, your logical mind steps in and it even tries to reason for you to make you feel better, because it will say, oh well, this person got this because of that or because of this. When you compare your fertility journey, oh well, it was easier for them because they didn't have this medical protocol or this underlying condition. Or they didn't have this medical protocol or this underlying condition, or they didn't have this or that going against them. It was easier for them, or they paid for it all by themselves, so they got to transfer two embryos versus I did government funding, so that meant I could only transfer one embryo, which reduced my chances. Really, think of all the things that you say to yourself. Really, think about that and I'll be 100% transparent with you guys.
Speaker 1:The massive majority of my life, I hopped on and off this beautiful, accessible train called the comparison game train. I compared every area of my life and I was comparing apples to oranges, so it sure didn't help me when I compared my fertility journey. I didn't know anyone financial implications, they didn't know the emotional struggles and the roller coaster of two-week waits, blood draws and you know. You know the drill. They didn't know the physical implications of all of these hormones and medications and they didn't know the implications of having to schedule all these different appointments and meetings with Wanda and how it made you feel, or the fact you actually had to pay for something that you're watching everyone around you get intimate and they get to have a baby, something your bodies were designed to do, but yet you're paying for this. It does something to you no-transcript to someone else that you can't really compare. Maybe you can share some war stories that it took longer for them to get pregnant, but they still have no idea what you went through, so you can't compare.
Speaker 1:I compared my blended family life to single family life, the complexities versus the simplicities that I craved. How was that serving me? It didn't. It allowed my lower vibrational emotions fear and uncertainty and lack to just fester because I was constantly observing how everyone was having the things that I wanted. I observed how people showed up with confidence. I chose to be more quiet because I didn't want to be judged. I really, in every area of my life, I compared myself to people that were in a way different, wealthier, financial state, and how they got to go away and take their kids on to March break and do all these things, and I would compare, thinking I can't do that with my stepkids because right now I've already taken out a loan to put towards fertility treatment. What could I have done with that money? I would have loved to be on a beach. I would have loved to do this. I hopped on and off that beautiful train because it was so easy and so accessible and because I'd been doing it my whole life, just as you have, because we are so programmed to live in our five senses. I'm going to repeat that a hundred more times. I feel like it programmed to live in our five senses. I'm going to repeat that a hundred more times. I feel like it. But I want to really drill home with you.
Speaker 1:Each and every one of us was given a gift at birth. They're called higher mental faculties. You have the ability to decide how you feel, how you show up, how you do things. You have the ability to focus. You have the beautiful gift of imagination. You get to really decide what it is that you want in life, what you desire, what it is that you want, and you can see it play out. You can tune into the frequency where it exists. You can feel those high vibrations. You can really create your environment from the inside out. You get to choose. You get to do these beautiful, empowering things. You get to decide to hop off that train. You get to hop on the new train, the new train of possibilities, the new train that is bigger and far more sparkly. It's called the train of you, love. You Choose what you want to choose.
Speaker 1:Look at everyone like an iceberg. You don't know what's going on in their life, so don't bother comparing. You don't know the exact story, detail after detail, every nitty-gritty thing. You only know what you've observed and then you've really compared yourself to that and then reasoned why you can't have it and left yourself with low vibrational feelings. Stop focusing on what you don't want and what is going on and start focusing on what you do. Hop on the train of you. Yes, it may seem overwhelming, yes, it may seem challenging, but the thing is, create yourself an affirmation right now, every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better and better and better and set yourself a goal for the next five days. You're really going to focus, and maybe you only show up for two out of those five days, but still, two is better than none.
Speaker 1:You get to change your world by changing the way you look at it. Get off that comparison game train when you go out and you see everyone with what it is that you desire. Flip your perspective and start to say things like this is, in my view, because I am capable of having these things too, and I am going to have these things too, instead of feeling sad and low and why isn't this happening to me? Change the way you feel. Decide, make a decision, create a new habit. Let go of the doubts, let go of the fears, let go of that inner chatter that's not serving you. It doesn't mean that old programming, old chatter, old things won't pop up, but the more you employ your tools, the easier and the faster and the better you deal with things and you move through things. You grow through things, because it's in the growing that you get everything you desire. You are learning to be in love and joy and gratitude instead of waking up in uncertainty and waking up in the same environment over and over and over again.
Speaker 1:You're in this cyclical pattern where it's really not serving you, but yet we are so naturally easily persuaded to hop on the comparison game train instead of the U train. But it does take decision, it does take will and persistence, it does take your imagination, and if you start to feel like this is overwhelming, this is too much, then you will remain in your old habits. You will remain hopping on and off that comparison game train. It was easier for her because that. It was easier for them because that oh well, they came from money. So you know, of course, they can do all the traveling. They can do that. They've never had to work a day in their life. They don't know the struggles.
Speaker 1:Think about it. Think about the inner chatter. Think about what is really going on with you. Get off the comparison game train. We all have the gifts when it within us. We were born with them. We just need to teach ourselves to employ them. Create a new habit. Stop observing everything that's not working out for you. Change your perspective that maybe you're seeing all of these women expecting or young families, or cutesy announcements on social media, because it's the universe planting it there, saying you can have this too. Change the way you look at the world and your world will start to change.
Speaker 1:When I stopped playing the comparison game in all areas of my life, my world did change. When I focused on what I wanted versus focusing on how things felt, heavy and hard and not working for me, things were changing. There was more love and light in my journey versus tears, versus heartache, versus just waking up saying I can get through the day today, it's okay, and maybe it will be my time. You are incredibly powerful and I know I can say this a hundred million more times, but until you make that decision for yourself, you won't believe it. Maybe you still hold the belief that you have to see it to believe it. I want you to know you're so powerful. I want you to know that you have the ability to change everything. I want you to change your perspectives. I want you to hop on that U-train and see how pretty, how amazing, how wonderful it is when you look at someone else's life and you compare.
Speaker 1:What if you said you got where you needed to be, but now I get to go where I'm going, I can find love, enjoying the journey? It's the same thing as if I said, okay, I've got a crystal ball. On this day, this is when you are going to have everything that you desire. You would live your life very differently because I'm telling you it's happening, but instead, because I don't have that crystal ball, you look at me and you say Jessica, it's easy for you because? But it's not easy for me because, as soon as you say, because you hopped back on the comparison game train, you have the exact same gifts that I have. I just employ them differently than you.
Speaker 1:It took practice, it took time, it took trying and failing, and trying and failing. But I don't believe in failing. I tried and I stumbled and I got back up. I tried and I stumbled and I got back up, because the true failure is giving up and quitting and saying no, I can't do this, I can't, I can't, I can't. You can, you can, you can. I can tell you how different my world feels because I got off the comparison train. But here's the truth, because I truly believe in full transparency, every now and then I hop on it and then I hop right back off and I go. I know better. I don't like that feeling, but I entertain it for a little bit. We are all human, we all have human experiences. We all stumble. Even the world's biggest, most amazing coaches out there, they all stumble. It's called contrast. But I really want you to know you have such an amazing ability in you. So get on the you train. Make a decision, stick to your decision. Hire a coach. Am I going to see you in Fertility Fusion? Yes, I want you to know you have the ability to get on the U-train.
Speaker 1:The one where you focus on what it is that you want. The one where you choose to focus your thoughts and feelings and really feel that. The one where you really actually empower yourself to know how incredibly powerful you are. The one where you know that money is just an exchange of energy. The one where you can easily flip on those rose-colored glasses and see how beautiful the world and universe can be to you. But you have to allow it. You have to allow it because right now, when you jump on and off the comparison game train, you're saying everyone else is far more worthy than you and that may hit you differently, but no one is more worthy than you. No one is more worthy than you.
Speaker 1:So employ your tools, start allowing love and joy and gratitude back into your journey. Start living with purpose and passion versus getting up, eating, sleeping, repeating and hoping for a better tomorrow. I'm sending each and every one of you so much love and light, and I'm proud of you for being here, and I love you and I am so incredibly excited to connect with each and every one of you have an amazing day. I want to express my deepest gratitude for you tuning in with me today. I am proud of you and I am sending you so much love. I want you to remember that you hold incredible strength and power within you. If this episode resonated with you or you know anyone that would benefit from hearing, please share. Or you know anyone that would benefit from hearing, please share. And if you haven't done so already, head over to Spotify or Apple and please leave a rating and a review. In love and light, jessica.