Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Welcome to the Fertility Mind Podcast. I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back.
Speaker 1:Today I'm talking to you about doubts and I want you to journal, whether you journal this full out or point form. What are you doubting right now? Are you doubting in your fertility journey and the success of it? Are you doubting in your body any way, shape or form? Are you doubting your body, the ability to get pregnant or the ability to stay pregnant and carry your baby or babies till full term? Are you doubting your finances? Are you doubting decisions that you've made in the past regarding your fertility journey or anything. Are you doubting decisions you are making right now? Are you doubting how you relate to people around you family, friends, maybe even your partner? Are you doubting how this law of attraction mindset manifestation works for some people, but it doesn't seem to be working for you? I'm going to let you in on a little secret, but it's not a secret. Doubt kills everything. Doubt kills everything. So why is it that you can pay attention to everything going on around you but you can't use that same attention to focus your thoughts?
Speaker 1:I was the same when I started learning this. I found focusing my thoughts. I thought, like this is hard. This is because we are so programmed to live in our five senses, to observe everything through our five senses and absorb it and that is what it is, and absorb it, and that is what it is. We are not taught to live with our higher mental faculties. We're not taught to focus on what it is that we want. We're not taught to do things differently. Have you ever looked at people's social media and thought, like, how do they do reels or TikToks or whatever they do? And it seems so flawless, it seems so easy for them? Or you look at other areas, other things in your life and you think like they must have it so easy. It's so easy for them, that's because they have created a habit around something. Created a habit around something when I was choosing to pay attention to my thoughts and switch my thoughts and choose my thoughts. At first, yes, it was hard. This is why I talked to you about habits, because creating this habit and doing it daily, it is now easy for me.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean that doubt doesn't still come in. It doesn't mean that contrast still doesn't come in oh, my goodness, it does. But I remember my habits. I remember my ability to do everything and achieve everything that I desire. I understand it's about forming a habit, but let me tell you about doubt, and I'm going to share a story with you in a second. But when you really resonate with doubt, or you sit with doubt and then you start to become doubtful of all the things, your logical reasoning steps in and allows you to stay in that doubtful state in and allows you to stay in that doubtful state. So I'm going to share my story with you, what I didn't share with you in season one, episode one, where I share my fertility journey.
Speaker 1:My goodness, I was filled with doubt. I had already had three failed transfers, which I shared with you, and I told you that we were gearing up for our fourth transfer. And I really took all my audio law of attraction audio books. I made it my lifeline. I did all the things but I didn't share with you what I did first and, yes, I even shared with you that if the fourth transfer wasn't going to work I was, I was going to be done. I definitely really needed some time off.
Speaker 1:In my environment I had so many people living in a doubtful state alongside me. You've already spent so much money on the medications. You've already borrowed a lot of money from your father-in-law. You and your husband both have fixed salaries, so money's not coming out of thin air. You've already experienced so many losses. If it's not working now, why is it going to work the next time? Because on paper, everything said you ovulate beautifully and there's no underlying conditions that we can tell you of, so we don't know why it's working. They were allowing my doubt to fester.
Speaker 1:My husband and I were both talking about so many things and he even looked at me and he said Jay, I've watched you crumble over and over and over again. And he said I don't know if I can watch you do it again. He said I watch you pick yourself up. And he said but I can see you're hurting. And he said I don't want to watch you hurt anymore. So I'm going to try and keep it together for you guys, because I still cry when I talk about it.
Speaker 1:But I put myself in a room with doubt and I said doubt. If I listen to you and I stop right here right now, what will my life look like? And this is where the logical part really comes in. I started seeing my life with. You know what. We already know our incomes. We already know how to raise our three little girls, my stepdaughters. You know what. I have more time with my husband when they're at their mom's we don't have to worry about kids of our own and when they go off to post-secondary education, if that's something that they choose to do. Think of, like the traveling and things that we can do. Think of all of the different things, because you know what we're like. I'm young, my husband's young and, my goodness, we can have such a life.
Speaker 1:I was starting to paint this picture of what my life would look like. Paint this picture of what my life would look like. But there was this tiny, tiny little voice that said but what do you really want? And I started to cry and I said, if I could have it all, if I could only have one pregnancy, give me boy, girl twins, give me all the challenges, give me whatever, I don't care, just give me boy-girl twins so I can give my husband his first little boy. I can have two little people that call me mom. My older girls can be big sisters again. We can blend our family. We can open our hearts even more. We can open our hearts even more.
Speaker 1:And all of a sudden, because I chose to listen to that little, tiny voice, my doubt was so loud and it was painting this beautiful picture and it was really the logical reasoning inside of that was saying you know what? You still have an amazing husband. You still have this. And please understand I know your conversations will be different than my conversation with doubt, because we all have different impacts and everything that goes on in our lives and my situation. I already had three amazing little girls in my life. So, yes, my logic was painting a picture of what we could do with the money that we're no longer spending on IVF. Maybe we could take the girls to Disney World, maybe we could do this.
Speaker 1:It was getting loud and loud and so clear and I was even starting to feel a little bit of joy. Which the duality of that. Then I started feeling sick to my stomach. Which the duality of that. Then I started feeling sick to my stomach. How was I so willing to give up on my dream that I was working so hard to have? But that little voice, as soon as it just asked a question of but what do you really want? I cried and cried, and cried and said this is what I want.
Speaker 1:And the more I kept saying this is what I want and started painting a different picture of my three stepdaughters being big sisters, of having full-time kids in our house all the time, all the added love, all the added joy, the doubt got quieter. The doubt started saying okay, well, clearly you know what you want. So that's when I took the law of attraction audiobook. So damn seriously. Damn seriously Because for once I actually sat with my doubt and I said no more, I don't have room for you, because you are destroying every thought, every hope, every dream, because somehow the negative doubt seems to be louder Because we can. Again, the logical reasoning will take over why you can't afford this or why you can't have that, or why someone else has something that you don't. So I want to share with you, understand and get so crystal clear about your silly doubts, because they're not silly, they're loud, they're clear, they're dominant. But in the end, what you want and what you desire will always be louder when you connect. Always be louder when you connect. Don't let doubt destroy what it is that you're working towards, because that's what doubt wants to do. That is doubt, that is fear, and I will tell you in every episode, if I have to, those doubtful thoughts are never serving you. They are taking away what you are truly meant to have and taking you and sidetracking you from all the things you could have and all the growth you can experience and all the love that you can feel. So I really, really, really want you to start trusting your own voice, because that little voice for me she was real quiet, but I trusted my own voice of. I've got one left in me if I would have let doubt stop, I would not have gone for a fourth transfer and got pregnant with my twins. I'll share with you my secondary journey.
Speaker 1:Doubt was very different. This time around I was studying mindset and manifestation, but it was. It was different. It was doubting my worthiness and my being greedy for wanting to have a second pregnancy, for wanting to have a third child. Doubt got really clear when I had my miscarriage Six weeks and four days. Six weeks and four days Then, when I was pregnant, I started doubting can I carry a baby to term? Because my twins were born two months early. So maybe there really is something wrong with my body. And now the you know my second transfer. I got pregnant, but I miscarried at six weeks and four days. So maybe my body's not doing what it's meant to do or maybe I'm not meant to have.
Speaker 1:The doubt was so loud and clear. I cursed the universe, I got mad, but it was also again that little voice that said what do you want? And I got so crystal clear. I created new habits and I went for it. I went for it.
Speaker 1:Doubt can always stop you. I have seen it time and time and time again in social media groups that I used to be part of. I left some of them because it felt like weekly people were posting about how they were giving up on their fertility journeys Because that doubt was so loud and their logical reasoning started to really resonate with that doubt Well, I need to stop this to save my marriage, or I need to stop this because of finances? Well, my body is just not working. I doubt this is ever going to work for me because I've been on this journey for 10 plus years. So I'm done. I can tell you, guys, doubt kills everything. So I want to leave you with this today. I want you to trust your own voice, like I learned to trust mine, that little voice that told me what is it that you want? And the second journey that said just keep going, don't give up. Journey that said just keep going, don't give up.
Speaker 1:If you are going to doubt anything, doubt the limits you put upon yourself and understand you are incredibly powerful. I love you and I'm proud of you, and I really, truly mean this when I say I am excited to see each and every one of you in Fertility Fusion, because I know you are so worthy of having what it is that you desire, and I know how grateful I am every single day for what I have, and I want each and every one of you to experience that too. Have an amazing day. I want to express my deepest gratitude for you tuning in with me today. Gratitude for you tuning in with me today. I am proud of you and I am sending you so much love. I want you to remember that you hold incredible strength and power within you. If this episode resonated with you or you know anyone that would benefit from hearing, please share, and if you haven't done so already, head over to Spotify or Apple and please leave a rating and a review. In love and light, jessica.