Hey, Hey, Welcome back!
Facing the emotional rollercoaster of fertility can feel like a solo journey, but you're not alone. In this episode, I have a candid conversation with you. as we tackle the tough questions head-on. I'm getting you to uncover the resistances holding you back and learn to shift from hope to certainty in the quest for the family you yearn for.
It's about changing limiting beliefs that whisper you can't to a resounding belief that you can and will revel in joy and fulfillment. Join me as we affirm that our beliefs are the architects of our reality. Through unwavering support and gratitude, we'll shine a light on achieving the family you've always envisioned.
In Love, Light and Gratitude
Jessica xxx
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Hey, Hey, Welcome back!
Facing the emotional rollercoaster of fertility can feel like a solo journey, but you're not alone. In this episode, I have a candid conversation with you. as we tackle the tough questions head-on. I'm getting you to uncover the resistances holding you back and learn to shift from hope to certainty in the quest for the family you yearn for.
It's about changing limiting beliefs that whisper you can't to a resounding belief that you can and will revel in joy and fulfillment. Join me as we affirm that our beliefs are the architects of our reality. Through unwavering support and gratitude, we'll shine a light on achieving the family you've always envisioned.
In Love, Light and Gratitude
Jessica xxx
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Welcome to the Fertility Mind podcast. I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back.
Speaker 1:Today I want to talk to you about getting raw and real with yourself, and this is where the magic happens. So when I say this is where the magic happens, because this is where you are uncovering your limiting beliefs, this is where you are getting intimate with your innermost thoughts. This is where you can start to see where fear is intertwined in every part of your actions and your decisions. This is you getting raw and real with yourself and really understanding where you are operating. So you can say, hey, this is where I'm operating every single day. Now I know where I can go. Now I know where I can focus my attention and my thoughts and get rid of all of those things that are not serving me.
Speaker 1:Getting raw and real is asking yourself some really hard questions. I want you to ask yourself how are you truly feeling on your fertility journey? Are you feeling exhausted? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are you feeling frustrated? Are you feeling like this isn't fair? What are you truly feeling and how are you showing up every day and how are you taking actions every single day? Are you taking actions in joyful expectation? Are you taking actions in the hope state I hope this works. I hope that I get to have my dream. Are you taking actions in a faith state, like I think I can have this, or are you taking actions in a knowing phase, where I know I can have this? But part of this is also your awareness when you drive to your fertility appointment. Take note of how you're feeling when you're out in public or with your friends or family and someone's expecting or has children. How do you truly feel? What feelings are you burying, what feelings are you stuffing down? Because that is all connected with your innermost thoughts.
Speaker 1:I will do a whole episode on beliefs and how your belief system works, but I want you to understand right now we're talking about getting raw and real with yourself, asking yourself a lot of questions, asking yourself what are you afraid of? What is stopping you? Do you believe that money is energy? Do you believe that you can manifest your baby? Do you believe that manifesting works? Do you believe that manifesting works for other people but it doesn't work for you? This is where you get to connect with your limiting beliefs, where you're really at how you're operating.
Speaker 1:If you knew that it was guaranteed you could have your baby, you could have your desired family. You would take actions very differently. But because you are on a fertility journey, there is so much fear, there is so much uncertainty and it is tied into every area of your life. I want you to get raw and real how you really feel about your body. I'm not talking about your body shape or your body type, but how do you really feel about your body because you're on this fertility journey.
Speaker 1:If I asked you tougher questions, do you think you could get pregnant naturally? And I know it's different for everyone and I know some people have to instantly start out in a fertility clinic, especially if you're in the same sex relationship or marriage or partnership? But I want you to think about that question right now, because a lot of you are going to instantly hit resistance. A lot of you are going to say, well, no, I have this underlying medical condition, or age is taking into effect, or XYZ. You're going to tell me exactly why this won't work.
Speaker 1:Congratulations, you just uncovered a limiting belief. What if someone gave you the exact steps to manifest your baby? Do you believe that you could do that? Do you believe that you have a powerful mind to do these things? These are questions I want you to ask yourself. Do you believe that you have to, in order to get pregnant, you have to be in a fertility clinic, or medications or what are going excuse my tongue tight? Do you believe that you have to be in a fertility clinic? Do you believe that your doctor is in alignment with what you want, or are you just listening to what your doctor is saying? How do you truly feel?
Speaker 1:This is getting raw and real with yourself. This is you uncovering the things that you experience on a day to day basis, that sometimes you push down. Sometimes you will start to reason with why this is happening. This is the magic. Yes, I'll be honest, it can seem overwhelming, but I want to ask you why does it seem overwhelming? If this was the one episode that gave you your lifeline, that changed the trajectory of your fertility journey, would you do everything I'm asking? Or would you say, yeah, I want to, but will you journal? Are you willing to journal? Are you really willing to be aware of how you're showing up? Are you worried? Are you fearful that this isn't going to work? Are you fearful, how do you? Fearful of getting raw and real with yourself is, honestly, all about understanding how you are operating and how you were working. Because here's the truth how you're operating and how you're working right now isn't working for you. You were meeting contrast, you were meeting resistance and everything is feeling hard. Everything doesn't seem like it's aligning to go your way. Do you actually believe that the universe has the right divine timing for everything for you, or where do you believe things are? Do you believe that you're absolutely trying your best? You're willing to do everything.
Speaker 1:If I asked you to rate yourself between one and ten, one being, you are just surviving, and ten, my God, I'm thriving. How are you actually? And rate yourself every single day? Don't rate yourself with judgment, but rate yourself with a place of how did I show up today versus how I wanted to show up today. Do you believe that you can choose your mood? Do you believe you can choose your thoughts the way you choose your clothes? You've heard me say this in many episodes. When you do become practiced, I want you to.
Speaker 1:When you put on clothes tomorrow morning or the next day, whenever you're listening to this, you know when you're getting ready to go either to work or you're going out, or you're just getting dressed and you look at yourself and you think I look good. Or you say to yourself, hmm, no, I don't like the way this fits, or I don't like the way this looks. No, I'm going to change it. You change your clothes so instantly. Why are you resisting or why are you holding back to the idea that you can't change your thoughts the way you change your clothes? If you truly practice this, you can.
Speaker 1:What if, I said, when you get raw and real with yourself and you really understand how you're operating every day and you can say, hey, I'm realizing that, how I wake up and how I show up every day is affecting me, because I know that when I'm operating at a lower vibration, when I am looking at my outside environment, when I go to work and I hear people complaining about their children, when I go to the grocery store or I go to a department store and I see many people at all different ages and stages of their pregnancy and I'm left feeling when is this going to be me? Can you in your heart and in your love, in your mind, genuinely send them love, because you know one day that's going to be you? Is the thought of going to a baby shower or a first birthday party so overwhelming? Because there's that feeling in the pit of your stomach and that questioning and that longing of my God. Am I ever going to have this?
Speaker 1:Get raw and real with yourself, because I'm telling you you can start to choose your thoughts and start to say hey, I'm recognizing that this thought is not serving me. I want to feel this way, I want to connect to this, I want to connect to that. So I want to talk about different forms of journaling. I like to use voice notes or voice memos If I'm really wanting to talk something out, because sometimes what we're feeling inside is as soon as you say it out loud, it sounds different than what's feeling inside and you might say things to yourself like why am I holding so much emotion to this? Because it sounds so different. When I say it out loud, I can hear the passion or the expressions in my voice and I can feel it in my body. So I love to do voice memos because I can really get connected and raw and real with myself. But I also love actually writing in a journal. I love to do night reflection and I also love to have my journal where I write down the magic I witnessed today.
Speaker 1:I don't need to build a ladder of belief anymore because I believe in the universe and God. I believe in the magic I have in myself. But I want to share with you even the highest level of mentors that are 20 million and above that I have followed and I have studied under and I have done things. They all still experience contrast and they all experience growth. They experience things as they're going to the next level, as they're evolving and growing. You're going to experience things. It's how you move through things.
Speaker 1:So, yes, when I'm experiencing contrast or something, I get raw and real with myself. I ask myself how am I showing up? How did I want to show up? Did someone's opinion or someone's comment or this or that change my mood? Did I allow it to affect me? And I get raw and real with that. How am I really operating? Is old feelings, is old thoughts or emotions creeping up? Did I actually bless and release them? Did I actually move them on or did I stuff them down? I get raw and real with myself because in full transparency, guys, there has been things that I thought I blessed and released. I thought I moved past them, but yet something just kept showing up over and over and over again and I thought why? What lesson do I have to learn? And that's when I get raw and real and I ask myself okay, I want to see something different. Am I still actually focusing on what I want? Am I aligned with what I want, or am I taking actions out of fear? Am I taking actions out of uncertainty? Am I taking what I think should be logical next steps? Getting really connected with yourself helps.
Speaker 1:So when you start to think about getting raw and real and then you now understand where you're operating, you get to decide where you want to go. You get to decide and I'm not talking about controlling, I'm not saying control how you're going to create your desired family. We absolutely open. But what I'm saying you decide that absolutely without a shadow of a doubt, with every part of your being, that you know that you are going to have this because you're going to do what it takes. You're going to see all these limiting beliefs and you're going to flip them. You're going to build that ladder of belief because when you start to change and you get raw and real, you will start to see synchronicities. You will start to see things changing in your life. You may write them down as a coincidence or you may start to say, hey, things are aligning in ways I never thought that they could. Here's a perfect example and I don't want to make this about me, but I want you guys to understand. Go listen to season one, episode two, and listen more than halfway through. I really start to talk about the synchronicities.
Speaker 1:When I started understanding my mindset, there were so many factors when I got the call from my fertility nurse, when she was saying you know, I think we're going to cancel your cycle, and I just I was in such an all knowing state because I got raw and real with myself and I was like I know, no matter what, I'm going to have my second baby, sorry, my third baby, my second pregnancy. I know, I don't know the time, I don't know how, I don't know any of those, but I know. And that's when intuitive thoughts and intuitive hits started coming to me. I asked the question well, what if we? What if we could get a urologist for the piece of for my husband? And my fertility nurse said, fine, I'll email the Ford top. You're all a just in here, but if we can't get a response in the next couple of days, your cycles cancelled. Sure enough, we got a response. This was in December, so this is in winter here in Canada.
Speaker 1:So, and driving on major highways for minimum an hour and a half, two hours, three hours, with traffic sometimes can be very stressful, and trying to make sure that there's no storms, that there's no road closures, anything like that, all of those could have been contributing factors that, if fear were taking place or if different things were allowing to creep into my mind, I would have accepted yes, my cycle is going to be cancelled. I just kept asking questions. So we found out that, yes, and the other contributing factor, guys, my husband is a caterer. He had a very, very, very busy schedule. There was only a few dates in December that he could actually do any of these things. So this may seem like a coincidence to you guys, but this is. I truly understand that this is how the universe works. In infinite ways. We were able to get the urologist and he was able to have three or four days off work and line up chefs to so he could have those three or four days off work so that he could have some healing time. We were able his event had cancelled, or I guess they rebooked the event for a different day so that he could be there the day of my egg retrieval. All of these things completely lined up. We didn't have to change schedules with my older girls. All of these dates completely lined up so beautifully, so seamlessly.
Speaker 1:But yes, I hit resistance when we talked about freezing my husband's sperm. That was never something that I had thought about. It's nothing I'd ever discussed before in a fertility clinic. I was just in this state of openness because I knew that this was going to happen. I just didn't know how, I just didn't know when, and that wasn't my focus. I chose to focus my thoughts every day. I chose to get raw and real with myself, to understand where my limiting beliefs were, because I knew that they weren't serving me. Why would I want to hold on to a thought that is going to stop me from getting to where I want to go? I want to ask you that same question.
Speaker 1:I understand that you may be going through something incredibly difficult right now. You're grieving, and grief looks different for everyone. It can be grieving that you're on a fertility journey, grieving that you have to be in a fertility clinic or that you have to pay money you don't really have. Grief looks different for everyone. Grief can be loss after loss after loss. Grief looks different for everyone and I want you to understand. You can move through grief and still be an expectant joy and joyful expectation, meaning you know that you get to have your desired family. You're just going to do what it takes. You're going to get raw and real with yourself.
Speaker 1:You are very much going to be connected because when those limiting beliefs or those negative, low vibrational feelings come in, how do you deal with them? Do you allow them to control you? Are you taken out for the whole day. Do you start resonating and looking everywhere in your environment of how horrible this is, how unfair this is, how cruel this is? Or do you start to say, hey, I just got handed a whole bunch of lemons, but I'm going to make the best tasting lemonade I've ever made in my life? I don't want to feel sad and low every day. I don't want to go to family functions or outings with my friends and sit and feel quiet or reserved because they're saying things that make me feel uncomfortable or things that I can't relate to them on, because they have the things that I desperately want. How can you go out and have fun? How can you have belly laughs? Start creating joy in your life, but also uncover your limiting beliefs. I will say this with the utmost love what you truly believe is what you are going to receive.
Speaker 1:If you do not believe that you are actually going to have your baby, then that is your reality, that is your frequency, that you are tuned into. You are listening to the same radio station over and over and over again. That's hurting you, that's crushing you. Can you change your belief? And if not, why? Why is it fear that's really so like it has this death grip on you. Guys, I will be honest Again. I don't want to make this about me, but fear has had a death grip on me, and fear was the loudest voice in my head for a long time. It stopped me from doing a lot of things that I wanted to do.
Speaker 1:As soon as I would get excited about something or I take action with something, that fear would say, oh wait, oh no, no, no, no, no, and I would start to justify why I shouldn't do it and no, it's okay, I'm comfortable here. Get uncomfortable. Get uncomfortable with understanding where you're operating so you can change them. Get uncomfortable with saying what if I can actually be in this place of knowing? What if I can be in this place where now I know where my limiting beliefs are, that I can change them? I want you to change them. I want you to know the power that you hold within you. But if you don't know those limiting beliefs or you don't know those innermost thoughts that are wreaking havoc on you, they're going to keep showing up in multiple different forms, in multiple different ways, over and over and over again, until you can change them. I want you to know that you can change them.
Speaker 1:And again I'm going to say, if this feels overwhelming, because, guys, full transparency, the first time I started doing this it felt overwhelming, it felt scary, it felt hard and I thought, like am I going to hate every part of myself because, like, how did I allow this stuff to happen? How did I allow this stuff to go on, meet yourself where you're at and say there is no point in holding judgment or resentment against yourself or anyone else, not. From this moment forward, you get to choose you and you get to choose you with love. You get to choose you with discipline. You get to choose you over and over and over again. Don't look back and say, if I wish I would have had this information sooner, things would be different. Yeah, maybe, but would. Even if you had this information sooner, would you have believed it? I really, truly believe that everything that I went through when this information started coming to me, it came to me when I was finally ready to accept it, because I've shared with you.
Speaker 1:At 15, I had started hearing a little bit about law of attraction. I had bought the six CD disc set and I didn't do anything with it In 2002 or 2006, I think it was 2006. When I first heard of the secret, I had tried to watch the movie and I fell asleep through it. I had heard of these different things. My soul, my mind was connected to them, but every part of me reasoned with I don't have time for that. Like it's okay, I'm sorry, like I'm busy, I'll get it to you when I get to it. So, even though this information was around to me, I wasn't ready to do something with it.
Speaker 1:Don't spend any time blaming yourself. Go to the place of absolutely. Hey, I found this at the right, exact time and now I know I can do something different. I can take control of how I feel. Be open to how things can happen. Be open and ready for all the infinite possibilities of things. How things can happen Because if you were it's called manufactured manifesting If you were trying to control every single thing it has to happen this way, by this timeframe, by this medical protocol, by this, by this, by this, you're going to hit resistance. The universe cannot work through you properly because it knows the infinite ways. And when you are in a place of controlling, it's hard, it's exhausting. And when you're in controlling, you keep putting this specific timeframe on something.
Speaker 1:What if you focus on your desired family and how that feels? How would that be for you? Can you do that? Absolutely you can. You have to ask yourself am I able? Yes, am I willing? Yes, if you are amazing.
Speaker 1:If you aren't, why not get raw and real with that? What is stopping you? What is stopping you from living full out of everything you want? Get raw and real with yourself. Journal, journal. Get curious with yourself. Start being aware of how you feel, even if it's just a thought or a feeling that is like a split second. How are you feeling? Because that is the true inner connection. You're going to hear me say feeling is the secret. Feeling is the secret because it's telling you how you're really feeling on the inside, and burying it doesn't make it go away. Want you to be able to have the things that you want, but I want you to be able to want that too and be able to do whatever it takes. I know that looks different for every single one of you, but please believe me when I say your mind is the most miraculous, powerful thing that you can create. Miracles, you can create infinite possibilities, but really uncover how you're feeling. Get raw and real with yourself. This can absolutely change the trajectory of your journey from this second on.
Speaker 1:If you do this. It can be emotional, it can be tough, but you're tough. You have gone through so much already and you're still here, you're still listening, you're still connected and you still, more than anything, want to have your desired family. So I am sending you so much love. I am sending you a huge gentle hug. I am grateful that you are here and that you are tuned in, and I am grateful that you're willing to take a chance on yourself. Please know that I'm proud of you. Please know that you are not alone, no matter how tough this feels.
Speaker 1:Send me a message, send me an email, get in contact with me. I'm here to help you because you are worthy and you deserve to have everything you desire. But when you get raw and real with yourself, you will understand the places that you can now go and all the things that have been holding you back up until this point. So I leave you with happy journaling and get raw and real with yourself. I love you. I want to express my deepest gratitude for you tuning in with me today. I am proud of you and I am sending you so much love. I want you to remember that you hold incredible strength and power within you. If this episode resonated with you or you know anyone that would benefit from hearing, please share, and if you haven't done so already, head over to Spotify or Apple and please leave a rating and a review. In love and light, jessica.