Hey, Hey, welcome back!
Facing judgment can be a crippling experience, especially in the realm of fertility where emotions are already running high. As your Fertility Mindset coach, I invite you to join me on this transformative journey where we collectively break down the barriers of judgment. Listen as I share my personal experience of encountering judgment head-on when I brought my twins to a fertility clinic. This profound moment redefined my perspective and became an enlightening opportunity to educate my children about the beautiful diversity of family creation.
We further delve into the guilt, resentment, and fear typically accompanying a fertility diagnosis. Yet, amidst these churning emotions, we discover the power of joy and gratitude. Whether you're embarking on this journey alone or with a partner, these positive emotions can provide the strength to overcome judgment and resentment. Let's learn how to flip the script together and find joy even in the face of struggle.
By focusing on love, joy, gratitude, and confidence, we can move past these judgments and truly believe that we are worthy and deserving of our desired family.
In Love and Gratitude
Jessica xxx
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Hey, Hey, welcome back!
Facing judgment can be a crippling experience, especially in the realm of fertility where emotions are already running high. As your Fertility Mindset coach, I invite you to join me on this transformative journey where we collectively break down the barriers of judgment. Listen as I share my personal experience of encountering judgment head-on when I brought my twins to a fertility clinic. This profound moment redefined my perspective and became an enlightening opportunity to educate my children about the beautiful diversity of family creation.
We further delve into the guilt, resentment, and fear typically accompanying a fertility diagnosis. Yet, amidst these churning emotions, we discover the power of joy and gratitude. Whether you're embarking on this journey alone or with a partner, these positive emotions can provide the strength to overcome judgment and resentment. Let's learn how to flip the script together and find joy even in the face of struggle.
By focusing on love, joy, gratitude, and confidence, we can move past these judgments and truly believe that we are worthy and deserving of our desired family.
In Love and Gratitude
Jessica xxx
Email - jessica@thefertilitymind.com
Website - https://www.thefertilitymind.com
Amazon Store - https://www.amazon.com/author/thefertilitymind
Welcome to the Fertility Mind podcast. I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified Fertility Mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how Mindset and Manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back.
Speaker 1:Today I want to talk to you about judgments and yes, I'm talking about every judgment you can possibly conceive of right now as you hear the word judgment, but more specifically, the judgments you're holding against yourself, the judgments you're holding against others and the judgment you're holding against your fertility journey, how you can release that so that you can have a bigger connection with spirit or universe to really work its magic, to conceive infinite ways of giving you your desired family. So I want to talk to you, I want to dive right in and think about what judgments you hold against people when you see them in the fertility clinic. Do you have any judgment? And I'm treading on this topic lightly, but when I talk about people in the same-sex community, I want you to think about the things that they have to go through too. There is instant judgments against them and my heart breaks that that is happening, that there is a lot of homophobia, there's a lot of things that they go through because all they want to do is grow their family I want you to think about when you're in a fertility clinic. Have you held judgment if they've brought in a child with them, whether it is their own or a stepchild? The reason I say this? Because, going back to my very first fertility journey, I had to have a biopsy done on my uterus and I was told yes, you can drive, because there's no pain medication, but you can start cramping right away and, depending on your pain tolerance, it can be quite uncomfortable to drive, and I had to drive at least an hour. So it was scheduled on a weekend that we had my stepdaughter, so they had to come. I even called ahead and asked if it was okay that they came. They said, yeah, they just need to stay in the waiting room.
Speaker 1:And I was so worried about what judgments people would hold against me for bringing three beautiful little girls into a fertility clinic with me because people would probably assume they were my biological children. I flipped my perspective back then, not knowing what I was doing, but I kept saying you know what they get to see science. They get to see that their dad and stepmom are willing to do whatever it takes to blend their family and an act of love and they get to see a different form of science and a different way that you can create your family, which was more acceptable for them, for their ages. That you know how you create your family is different for every person. So fast forward to my secondary fertility journey, where I already shared in a podcast what a woman said to me on Christmas Eve morning bringing my twins into the fertility clinic. There was a lot of chatter that went in, that was going on in my mind when I was driving down and I kept flipping my perspective, saying my twins get to see how mommy and daddy are creating their family, they get to see the fertility clinic that they were created in and they get to meet their fertility doctor. So not only that, do they get to see the place, they get to experience the love that mommy and daddy and the persistence that they took to make sure that they had their desired family and that they can understand that this is part of their journey, that they were frozen in time and that they are here right now. And also, my big grand goal was I want my children to be very well versed in fertility because if they ever decide to have a family of their own, I want them to know that there is many different ways of conceiving a family. It doesn't have to be the traditional way that they talk about in health class at school.
Speaker 1:I wish that it was so openly and accepted to talk about miscarriage and infertility and all of the above, but it is still taboo and I wanted them to see. You know what. There can be same sex couples that you have no idea. Every single person that is in this room was here for a purpose and we all look different, but we are here for the same purpose. So I was excited that they got to meet their doctor.
Speaker 1:But, yes, there was still worry of judgment, of what people were going to say or do or how they would feel like getting up super early at 5 am on Christmas Eve to go to a clinic, but we made it as fun and as light as possible. But I also knew that this is part of their story too and I was so excited for them to see this. And I knew that holding a judgment was not going to serve me because it was going to put me in a lower vibration and I did not want anything to do with lower vibrations while I was on my fertility journey. I wanted to flip my perspectives and also know that if I'm in a higher vibration, if anything or anyone were to say something like the woman did, I would be in a different place to hear that comment and respond, versus react or just internalize comments and how that would affect my body, the energy I was holding in my body because of a fear of a judgment or the judgment that could have been said or was said. I didn't hold judgments against that woman. I just thought you need to open your awareness and I'm sending you love because the truth is, I am a stepmom as well and I know the assumptions of people when you bring someone in somewhere. Oh, these are your girls? Yes, they're my girls Biologically. No, they're not my girls, but yes, they are my girls.
Speaker 1:And I want you to think about when you go into your fertility clinic and you see a child there, do you assume that it's their biological child? Do you assume like, how dare you be in this clinic with your children? Think about that assumption or that judgment that you've held. People don't know that I had to drive almost three hours to be seen by my fertility doctor. Those are not things that people naturally think about. They just place the judgment or place the assumption and then they move on. But think about that energy that you've sent out. I do want to caution. I do not want you to start thinking, oh my gosh, like I hold judgments, I'm blocking my energy, I'm doing this, I'm doing this now. It's just another thing that I'm doing wrong. No, I'm just opening up your awareness to seeing where you're holding yourself.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about your fertility journey as a whole. Do you even have the slightest little judgment of your friends that have had children naturally? Do you think like sometimes the thought could be like am I not deserving? Or sometimes you think like I think I'm a really good person. Why don't I deserve this? Or you're kinder and sweeter than your friends and you're more forgiving and you have more compassion and more of the like. Why did they get to do this naturally? And you don't Even the little form of judgments that are curated in your mind. How can you release that so that it's not now turning into your belief? And I just want you to think about how you can just be in a space when you think about finding joy in your journey, especially if you've received immense emotional impacts. You think you can't find joy or love right now because of all the things that you've gone through. How can you fathom after experiencing such emotional impacts? And it's okay to have fun. It's okay to do this because are you forgetting what you've gone through? Are you forgetting or giving up?
Speaker 1:I want you to think about where you're holding your judgments. Do you hold judgments against someone else for getting pregnant naturally? Do you hold judgments against people who were able to have their first child naturally but now we're on a secondary infertility journey and think, like you got to do this naturally the first time, like you don't relate this. No, think about the judgments that you're holding and how can you release that, because every single fertility journey is unique. Every single fertility journey is experienced differently. But I want you to think about the judgments that you're holding and how it's not serving you. Do you think about, especially if you're in a bigger clinic, that your doctor is just so busy and that you are a number instead of a patient? Do you think about, you know, do you hold judgments against your doctor if they're always late and you think I'm paying you so much money for a chance to grow my family and the least you could do is be on time? Or don't you know how uncomfortable it is to hold your full bladder for a really long time for a procedure? All the things I want you to think about the judgments. Don't hold a judgment against yourself for having these judgments, but I want you to think about where you hold your judgments and how you can release them, because it does tie into your beliefs.
Speaker 1:And let's talk about a diagnosis or falling in the unknown category, the judgments you place on that. When you fall in an unknown category, you're a blank slate. The doctors don't know what is going to work and what's not going to work because it's unknown. At least if you have a diagnosis, they can say, okay, based off of statistics or based off of history or based off of you, we can start here. Here's a guiding parameter where we can start with of the medical protocol that they want to do. But then there's when there is a diagnosis, there can be judgment or resentment from either or both partners. You may not be on the same playing field anymore. At least, when it's unknown, the resentment piece can kind of be gone Sometimes I'm not saying always, but you don't know if it's you, you don't know if it's him. Maybe everything on paper says this should be happening naturally for you. So we don't know why this is not working and you both seem to be on an even more level playing field is what I should be saying.
Speaker 1:But I want you to think about the judgments that you hold against your fertility journey, the judgments that you're saying like this isn't fair. The judgments you start to hold against yourself, saying you know, asking yourself am I worthy? Asking yourself if this is going to happen for you, asking yourself what you did wrong to deserve this? You never did anything wrong to be on a fertility journey. And I will say this I do not believe anyone ever manifested being on a fertility journey of any sorts, because a lot of information that I say people say well, you know like you talk about your vibrations, you talk about your frequencies, you talk about being on a low vibration, you attract lower vibrational things. No, you couldn't control that. This happened to you. So I don't want you to think that if you ate a specific way or if you've ever had an eating disorder, if you ever experienced any type of drug or alcohol abuse or anything in your past, that this has created you. Now, if you were not always, you know, fair to your body, I don't want you to go down that rabbit hole. I want you to, at some point when you feel safe, to bless and release your journey, but I don't want you to hold a belief that that is why you're on your fertility journey or that you did something to create this to yourself. What I do want you to do is bring your awareness into your thinking, bring your awareness into judgments, bring your awareness into how you respond versus react to people. I want you to think about your worries of people judging you.
Speaker 1:Before I started my podcast and before I ever started actively having my fertility clients, I was so worried about how people would judge me. I was so worried if people experience overwhelm infertility and I didn't want people to think, oh my gosh, this is one more thing that I have to do to just create my family, versus being able to just be intimate with my partner and boom, we're pregnant and boom, we have a baby. I wanted to be a safe place for people but yes, I am an open book. I will be 100% transparent. I was so worried about judgments of others. I was so worried that what if I got a nasty email or a nasty post like comment on my post? I was so filled with fear of what judgments people were going to hold against me and I thought, like am I bold enough, am I brave enough? Am I strong enough to go through this by opening myself up and being vulnerable and providing a service, something that I wish that I had when I was on my journey? I really wish I had this service for me available to me when I was on my journey, and that is what propelled me forward. That judgment, I guess, is what propelled me forward of.
Speaker 1:I don't care what people say or think. I am here to spread my love and light and knowledge with whoever needs to hear it and I am that safe space for any one of my clients, where you know what if they can't tell their family what's going on, or they can't, you know, they don't want to talk about it with anyone else, depending on where you are. Again, your emotional impacts and everything tie into this. Some people, you know, just want to keep everything so private. Some people are open books and it doesn't matter who you are or what background you are when you're on this journey. To have support in any way, shape or form that helps propel you and broaden your awareness is something that is going to propel you forward.
Speaker 1:So I just want you to think about the judgments that you're holding. I want you to think about your fertility journey. I want you to think about the judgments you hold against yourself, your partner or anyone, and release that and say you know what. These thoughts aren't serving me. What if I could go through day and day out living in love and joy and gratitude alongside going on my fertility journey? Because, again, when you go back and connect the dots, would you rather look back and be like you know what? I still went on vacation or I still did a staycation. I still, you know, stayed in the honeymoon phase with my partner. We found so much love and joy within the journey that we didn't let crippling news or crippling effects take over us, that we continued to grow us, grow our relationship so that when baby is here or baby is whatever your desired family looks like, you already have that beautiful foundation.
Speaker 1:If you are creating a foundation based off of judgments, this is like a house of cards. I don't want your foundation to be a house of cards. I want you that one comment could cripple you or destroy you. I want your foundation to be strong and filled with love and light and gratitude, not filled with worry of judgments, worry of what people think about you, worried about anything other than finding love and joy and gratitude and connection with your partner. And if you're doing this by yourself, I still want you to find love, joy and connection. You can connect with lots of people, a support system, anything around you, because the ultimate point of pregnancy and becoming a mother or a parent is you wanted to bring someone into this world and give them unconditional love. So why not make your base all about love, joy and gratitude?
Speaker 1:And yes, there's contrast, yes, there can be struggles. That doesn't mean when you focus on love, joy and gratitude, you've forgotten anything in your past. It doesn't mean that your world is going to be all hearts and sparkles and rainbows and unicorns. No, contrast always exists. It is always all around us. But this also gives you a foundation of how you can start to live a more beautiful life and have that stronger foundation, and then you can start responding to situations in life from a place of confidence, from a place of all knowing, from a place of faith, from a place of love, a place of joy, a place of gratitude, versus being in this place of nothing.
Speaker 1:Is going my way. Why the hell not? And what did I do to deserve this? I want you to release the judgment you're holding against yourself. I want you to release the judgment that you're holding against others that how is it fair that they got to do this naturally and you didn't? I want you to release the judgment against your fertility journey that it's not fair that you're here. I want you to release any type of judgments that you're holding against yourself, your fertility journey or others, because when you release that, you were opening yourself up, you were expanding your awareness, you were allowing yourself to grow in a more beautiful way. You were allowing yourself to tap into something bigger than you and you were allowing yourself to be so.
Speaker 1:If you think about connecting to a higher version of yourself, what does that look like for you? What does that look like when I see the version higher of myself? It is me every single day, living in love, enjoy and gratitude, and spreading my love and light to whomever comes in my energy, whether it's listening to my podcast, whether it's my clients, whether it's saying hello to someone at a store or out in public, and living my mission, but also expanding myself to all heights that I've never reached before. Expanding myself in spirituality, expanding myself in knowledge by reading and studying and growing. Expanding myself and understanding where my thoughts and my patterns go, understanding how I hold so much power within me, understanding that I want to live life to its absolute fullest. I don't want to wake up and live a mundane life where I believe that life is okay or I have a lot of things that I've asked for, so I'm good. No, I want to live an extraordinary life and I want to teach everyone around me to do the exact same.
Speaker 1:Life is meant to be living, and even when you're on your fertility journey, you can still live life. I know many of you right now are saying far easier said than done, or some of you are even saying you're one of the lucky ones, you had two successful pregnancies. Therefore you can't speak, it's a judgment. I want you to be able to be in love and joy and gratitude and confidence in faith. I want you to release the judgments that you are holding that aren't serving you, that are not propelling you forward to growth, that are not propelling you in a way of changing your awareness, that is blocking the energy of source and universe and spirit. I will say this I am a huge believer in God, but I use the term universe because it's more universally accepted on my podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm not talking about an organized religion. I am talking about the spirituality of God. I do believe in a higher power. I do believe that there is infinite ways for you to have your life. I also do believe that if you desire to have a family, this desire came to you because you're meant to have it. It didn't mean that it doesn't come without struggle for some people.
Speaker 1:But what does this struggle teach you? I want you to think about that. Second, what does this struggle teach you? Is it teaching you how incredibly strong and powerful you are? Does it give you a thought, like it did for me, that what if my story could be someone else's survival guide? And how can I help share my story with the world to awaken them to something grand and not give up on their desires or their goals or their dreams? What does it mean for you to understand how you've persisted through some really hard things? You're learning that you are powerful. You are learning that you have a deeper strength than you ever knew. Are you now creating an all-knowing belief that you are going to be a mom or a dad or a parent? What are you cultivating right now inside of you that is bringing you joy? If you release the judgments, you are opening yourself up to universe, helping provide infinite ways of bringing to you what you want. And I please understand I say this with the utmost love in my heart because I know there are some people that cannot hear those words. I know some people that assume the word God is associated with an organized religion. I know some people cannot hear you or men to have the things that you desire, especially with all of the emotional impacts that you have gone through, when you think, yes, this is what I want more than anything, but it's not working, so I must give up. Or you're on the brink of giving up.
Speaker 1:What if you could understand your judgments? What if you could understand your thoughts? What if you could understand your beliefs? What if you could understand you and flip those to be in a place of living in love, joy and gratitude and confidence and faith right now. What can you do right now? That doesn't. It changes everything, but it doesn't change you, but it changes everything around you. When you open your awareness and you're vibrating at a higher vibration, people respond differently to you. You have a different aura around you. People now may start to flock to you because they're like, my goodness, like there's just something different about you. What is it? Did you change your hair? Did you like? What did you do? Something's just different. You changed nothing, but everything all at the same time by broadening your awareness and understanding where you're holding judgment, so you can release those judgments and put you in such a higher vibrational state. So take time.
Speaker 1:Take time to think about where you're at, what judgments are you holding and how can you flip that perspective to seeing someone in a fertility clinic with a child with them, that maybe that's their stepchild, or hey, fertility treatments work. This is a sign of hope. This is a sign of love and joy and gratitude that someone is expanding their family. Because I can tell you this when you have children, naturally, and you announce that you're pregnant again or that you're pregnant, you have far less people holding judgments against you than when you are now paying to be in a fertility clinic, and I don't know why that is, but I can't tell you the amount of people that I have come across that make comments oh, you're paying for that, but you already have this and you already have that. Oh, and you think but if I could do this, naturally, would you have made that same comment? Probably not, maybe, but most likely not.
Speaker 1:So I want to leave you with this of just really focusing, really, really, really focusing on your love, joy and gratitude, confidence and faith I want you to focus on. If you hear that judgment that's going through your mind journal about it, why am I judging this person? Why am I judging this experience? Why am I judging this? What is going on within me that is representing or bringing out a feeling that's on a lower vibration. I don't want any of this to be overwhelming for you, but I want you to know every second that you spend thinking about where you are versus where you want to be, and how you can connect your collapsing time versus getting up, eat, sleep, repeat, and the world is not giving you the things that you desire the most.
Speaker 1:I don't want you to stay there. I don't want you to give up on your life or your goals or your dreams because you're stuck in a place of judgments or you're stuck in a place of belief that it's not working or it's never going to work. I want you to open up your awareness. I want you to listen to my episodes and take them as a lifeline. Listen to the things that I am providing for you to do so that you can start transforming your life. And yes, sometimes it starts with understanding where you hold judgments against yourself because, again, I repeat, they start to get tied into your belief. You are worthy and you deserve to have your desired family. You are enough, you can do this. I'm sending you so much love and light and gratitude today.