Welcome to a new chapter in your fertility journey. Imagine a life where you command the universe to bring forth your heart's desires. Can you see it? This episode of The Fertility Mind podcast is the compass that will guide you to that life. I take you on an enlightening journey of awareness and personal growth. I discuss tools such as journaling that can help you document your daily experiences and recognize limiting beliefs that may impede your journey toward your desired family.
The journey to our desired family can be laden with fear and doubt. But what if we flipped the script and decided based on what we want instead of what we fear? We dive into this emotionally charged topic, offering practical steps to visualize your desired family and align your decisions with this vision. I share tips on creating a dream nursery and crafting a vision board. So step in; together, let's uncover patterns, flip perspectives, and improve your world.
In Love and Gratitude
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Welcome to the Fertility Mind podcast. I am your host, jessica Friesen, a certified fertility mindset coach, a sound healer and an international best-selling author. My mission for this podcast is to give you weekly episodes where you hear my own success with IVF and how mindset and manifestation changed it all for me. You will also hear from my guests who share their success stories in the fertility world. I want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel tough and when things feel like they aren't going your way. The tools and techniques you will get in this podcast, I know, can change everything for you too. So thanks for being here with me today and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back. Today I want to talk to you about awareness and how awareness is an all-encompassing tool and how I think it is such an impactful tool and such an amazing tool to have, and how you can apply it to every year of your life, but, more importantly, your fertility journey. I want you to know that, when you become aware, this is where you grow, expand and change and you can tune in to all the things that you desire, versus going through your day-to-day life hoping and wishing and wanting for something that's not working right now. I am saying this with the utmost amount of love because my heart is so invested in every single one of my clients and my heart wants nothing more than every person that I come across to have their desired family and their desired life. When you become aware of your thoughts and your feelings, you can change them. When you become aware of a frequency you want to tune into, you can change it. When you become aware of your vibrations and how often they fluctuate, you can change them. When you think about your beliefs and what you're holding versus what you want to hold, you can change it. Awareness is the key to so many things. So how do you become aware? I say awareness is reflecting. This is truly how you start becoming aware and opening your eyes to your patterns and your thoughts and your feelings and being able to look at it in a very neutral form. So when I say reflecting, I get my clients, I try and get them to journal in the morning and at night. Journaling in the morning you're setting your expectations for the day, you're starting your morning off with gratitude, but at night I get you to reflect on everything that's gone through your day, from the moment you woke up to the moment that you are doing your reflection. So when I say, look at it in a neutral way, I want you to think like when you got out of bed, did you wake up excited? Did you wake up happy? Did you wake up nervous? No matter how you felt. Just, I want you to jot down how you felt. I don't want you to hold the emotion, thinking well, of course I woke up in a bad mood because I had a terrible dream, or I slept awful, or my partner and I got in a fight the night before I went to bed and it just. We haven't solved anything and it's carrying in through the day. Whatever it may be, I just want you to look at it and jot it down. I don't want the emotions, because this is when you become neutral to it. This is how you can start to see the patterns. I want you to think about good and bad throughout the day, like really just go back and reflect on your whole entire day. How is work or how is your day if you're on? You know, if you happen to be doing this while you're on a week vacation, that you've stayed at home or you're actually on vacation and you've traveled somewhere. No matter where you are listening to this, what does your day look like? What did your day look like today? And reflect on yesterday, if it's a morning when you're listening to this, but I want you just to think about what your day was like and I want you to do this consistently, because you're going to start to discover patterns and this is where you will also start to discover beliefs, because when you're reflecting, I also want you to think about how often did you think about your desired family and when you thought about having a baby in your desired family, how often did you think of that in a positive way of excitedness? Or did it come across your mind because you were triggered? Were you in the grocery store and you saw someone pregnant? Or you walked past the baby aisle, or you saw someone with a young family and you were triggered, thinking my god, I'd give anything for this, I would give anything. How often do you think about that in a positive, excited way, versus the emotional impacts because of your fertility journey thus far? I want you to reflect on that one for a minute. I want you to really think about how often you feel good about your fertility journey. I want you to think about. How do you feel towards your doctor? How do you feel towards your fertility clinic? How do you feel towards your nurses? How do you feel with your level, with your spouse or your partner? Are you on a good communication level? Do you feel really alone? This is where you uncover your limiting beliefs. This is where you uncover your constant thoughts in your head, because there's no right or wrong way. And I want to reiterate do this at a neutral level. I do not want you to judge yourself. No one knows your fertility journey the way you do. No one knows your emotional impacts the way you do. No one feels them the way that you do. So I do not want you to judge yourself. I just want you to reflect at the end of each day and start to notice how you were feeling throughout the day. You can say you know what? Someone bought me a coffee on my way to work, or my co-worker showed up and said this, or XYZ. I just want you to start thinking, because you can start to see how often you are happy or if you're in a good mood, you're on a higher vibration, if you're neutral and when I say remain neutral, you're not happy or you're not sad, you're just okay. I'm remaining neutral to this because I don't want to be low about this, but I know it's something I can't be super excited about right now. But think about how often your vibrations fluctuate throughout the day. So if you're tuning into the first time, listening to this, a vibration is like think about being like super excited you're operating in a high vibration. If you're sad or frustrated or mad, you're operating in a low vibration. So I just want you to think about like you know where you just going along the day thinking like this is a meh day, it's not bad, it's not, you know, it's not great, but it's okay that that's more neutral. I just want you to think about how often throughout your day were you remaining on a high frequency? Are you earth sorry vibration versus a low vibration? Then I also want you to think about understanding that we are on a frequency and your desired family is on a frequency. So I want you to become aware how often you think about this frequency. Do you make decisions based off of having your desire or do you make decisions based out of fear? Do you make decisions based off of money? Do you make decisions based off of grief and the possibility that you don't think that you could do this anymore. Please understand, I am not saying this with any judgment. Everything that I say is emanating with love. I am asking you these questions because you have to be real and honest with yourself. You have to get real, honest and you can go as deep as you want. You can focus solely on your fertility journey. You can focus on every year of your life. That is the beautiful thing. The more you expand your awareness, the more you grow. The more you grow, the more you step into a higher version of yourself and start operating on the way that you want to operate. When I say, tune into that frequency where your desired family is, are you making decisions based from that? I am going to get you to climb a ladder of belief, because some people can instantly go on to that. Yes, it's there. Some people need to climb that ladder of belief and that's what I'm here for. I'm here to show you the ladder of belief so that you can hold this incredible, strong belief that the universe, god, creator, divine Source, spirit, whatever you resonate with that, you know that everything is happening in the right Divine time. I will tell you like a broken record. Those words were crushing to me, and those words when people said that to me I'm like you have not experienced this, you don't know what I'm going through. So thank you. But I don't believe that. I uncovered a lot of beliefs that I was holding and I really have truly come to believe and know without a shadow of doubt that the universe has its right divine timing. No matter how much I try and force or push or do something to control, I am going against the flow of the universe and I am creating something that's harder for me. If I can change my beliefs to start enjoying things now, I can live in a state of gratitude. I can live in a state that, even with the hardest, most crushing, crappiest, horrible news that you can take time to heal, you can take time to process, but when you have an all-knowing belief that the universe is working for you and it is guiding you to its right divine time, I can't explain why we have to go through these things. I can explain, though. You can still find joy in the journey. You can grieve however you need to grieve, but still continue on. When you become aware, you will understand your beliefs, your thoughts, your feelings and how. Everything is like spaghetti. It's all intertwined and you can start untying those knots and start seeing this beautiful bowl and this beautiful life unfolding in front of you. I want you to know that when you climb the ladder of belief, you can go right to the top. You can start really small, whatever you want. Think of your belief as Mount Everest. First get to your base camp and then get to the next base camp and get to the next base camp and then boom, you're at the top of Everest. I will work with you to create your ladder of belief. If you don't believe it because of your emotional impacts or where you are in your fertility journey or however long you've been on it, you can find so much joy right now instead of living in a place of when I have my baby, when I have this, then I can start living my life, then things will be easier, then my partner and I will get along better, then this, then that XYZ. So when you tune into your frequency, where everything exists your desired family you can make decisions on your fertility journey now. You can make decisions on your fertility journey now. So let me give you an example. When my husband and I we went on our very first fertility journey. We were advised we could implant one or two embryos at a time. They told us statistics of implanting two versus one gives you a slightly better chance of having one baby stick versus both embryos, and there was only I believe it was like at that time it was a 13% chance of having twins with both embryos. Still, they can't guarantee more than a 50% 50% chance you'll have a pregnancy and a 50% chance the embryos will not stick and you'll have a failed cycle. We made decisions based out of fear. We made decisions based out of money. We made decisions based out of a different thing. So in my secondary fertility journey, when I understood, or was just starting to understand, universal laws and understanding my belief, I went to my end result. I knew the sex of the baby that I wanted to have. I knew my hair color, my eye color, everything, and you don't have to be that specific because I can tell you. Everyone that I work with just says I just want a healthy baby and that is perfectly okay. That is perfectly okay. So I was so crystal clear because I had already had twins when I was in my first fertility journey. I said please just give me a healthy baby. Then I started studying law of attraction and I got crystal clear and I said I want to have twins, I want to have a boy and a girl. I didn't get specific on hair color or eye color, I just said healthy, healthy, healthy babies, plain and simple. So you, whatever speaks to your desire, I want you to focus on that, but I want you to make decisions based off of that. So when we were discussing transferring one embryo versus two embryos, here's the thing, our first two implantations and I don't want you to get caught up in numbers either, guys, because every single, you know, egg retrieval, every single procedure, every single person is so very different. I'm just sharing this so you kind of understand the picture and where we made our thoughts and decisions off of Our first two transfers, we transferred two embryos. They failed. We were gearing up for our second, or sorry, our third transfer. We were so, like, filled with fear at this point that my husband and I said you know, we're only going to do one embryo, because now we're burning through embryos like you couldn't believe, and we can't do another egg retrieval. We can't do like we didn't even really think that we could afford our third transfer, let alone a fourth or however many, that we would have the option if we didn't get pregnant, and there was so much fear. I was not operating on the frequency where my family existed. I was operating on the frequency of my current 3D physical world, with my five senses. I was operating on a place of. I would do anything to have my babies, but I don't know if this is working. I don't know if this is going to ever happen for me. That's where I was operating. I want to build your ladder of belief to understand that there is a frequency for everything. There is a frequency for your dream home. There is a frequency for the amount of money that you want. There is a frequency for your desired family. There is a frequency for everything. Everything in this planet is vibrating. It's a frequency. So let's go back and think about this as a radio station. Tune in to what it is that you want. Stop listening to the fuzzy radio station or stop listening to songs that you don't want. We're tuning in to what you want. So when I say that you can make decisions differently when you go into your fertility clinic, I want you to think about the number of embryos that you have. If you were getting ready for an implantation and you think I only have a certain number of embryos, so I'm only going to do one at a time, to increase my options to have more implantations if they fail, think about that statement. Please know that I'm saying this with love. I do not hold judgment on anything. I truly believe that the decisions that you make are the ones that you need to make for you, and that's right for you. I am never here to change your mind. I am here to give you the tools and you do what is right for you. I want you to think about that, though, I want you to ask your question If you wanted to have a baby, if you wanted to have multiples and that's what you truly want but you're only implanting one, how does that feel for you? Does it feel right? If it feels right, go for it. Please go for it. If you're doing it based off of thinking, you know what I might only have one or two goes at it. So I'm only going to do one this time, and then maybe next time I'll do two, or maybe next time I'll just do one as well, because, xyz, I want you to make decisions based off of what you truly, truly, truly desire. I want you. I can tell you. I was in that place where I thought I'm burning through embryos, I can't do this, I can only do one now. And that it was around that point that I was like I really wanted twins, though I didn't feel good going into my third transfer. I was super excited and super hopeful for a pregnancy, but I kept saying and this is where the awareness comes in I kept saying to my husband I said we can't have boy-girl twins though, if we only implant one. And my husband said to me I know, jay, but one healthy baby is better than none. And I instantly agreed with him. I'm like you know what. You're right, you are so right. What changed as I went to work? I attuned to the frequency after we found out that our third transfer didn't fail or our third transfer failed. I'm sorry. My husband was so scared about finances. He's like Jay, we can't do this, we can't do another one. And I said, yes, we can. And I said I'm going to do the work like you've never seen someone do the work. Every day I focused on love and gratitude and sending love. Every day, I stayed in my imagination of finding out that we were having boy-girl twins. Every single day I woke up and said today's a new day and I need to do the work. I need to be aware of where my thoughts are If I'm having a bad day. It's okay to have a bad day. Please don't think that you have to be all hearts and rainbows and sparkly all the time, my goodness, no. But I do want you to use your awareness. When you start to see your vibration or your mood going down, what are things that you can do to help bring you up? Or ask yourself questions like this thought that I'm holding or this belief that I'm holding Is this an empowering belief or is this a limiting belief? And if this is a limiting belief, I want to change it. When you become aware of your frequency, you can start making decisions differently. When I was on my secondary fertility journey and my doctor presented me with so many different things, he called it the kitchen sink, if you will. Just before your transfer. There was embryo glue. We talked about estrogen patches. We talked about I had to do progesterone and oil shots like injections in my bum cheeks, but he talked about all these added things that I can do, interlipids, everything to give you the kitchen sink effect, to give it every shot that you've got to make this go. And here's the thing I did the kitchen sink effect once because I was operating out of a base of fear and as soon as I used my awareness I said I made a decision based out of fear. When I went in for my transfer, when I got pregnant with my last baby, I was in such a place of operating from a frequency where I knew I was gonna have a boy, I knew I was gonna get pregnant, I knew everything. So when they asked, do you want the kitchen sink? I said no, I don't need embryo, I don't need embryo glue, I don't need this, I don't need that. And they looked at me and they said we need you to sign, saying we've advised you to do this and you're saying no. I said that's okay. An old version, a past version of me would have been like oh, if you need me to sign this, no, it's okay, I'll just do this, I'll do the kitchen sink. I operated and made decisions based off of what I knew was right for me, for our finances, for my mental health, for my physical body and what was right in my heart. And something was saying you don't need the embryo glue, you don't need this, you don't need that, you've got this. And when they called me and they told me my beta number, I knew that I was going to be pregnant. But when they told me the number, it was much higher than I expected and I thought, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, like it. Just I created that ladder of belief. I saw little things, just building and building and building and building Awareness does that for you? I was constantly aware of my thoughts and my feelings and I would ask myself is this thought serving me? I would ask myself hard questions. I would ask myself because I thought I need to do the work for this. But here's the thing I want to address this On my first fertility journey, I was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed with juggling, picking up prescriptions in a different city. I was overwhelmed with step family stressors. I was overwhelmed with our access schedule, our 50-50 schedule. I was overwhelmed with appointments, the effects on my body. I was overwhelmed. So to think I had to do something else, I was like no. But when I was listening to law of attraction, practicing gratitude, I didn't think that that was overwhelming. I thought this is just making me happier, because I'm focusing on the things I want versus the things that I don't want. This is why I'm sharing you. I want you to hold the belief that this is not challenging. I want you to hold the belief that this is something exciting. That you get to operate on a new level now, that you get to operate on a place where you become aware of your thoughts, so you can change them, so it better serves you, so that your goals, your dreams, your desires can start manifesting in front of your eyes. That you can show up to your fertility appointments in a different place, that you can rewrite your triggers. I have rewritten them because I became aware of my beliefs that I was holding. And it really does start with reflecting reflecting on how you're feeling and then, after you've done this for a week, look back and see if you've noticed any patterns. Have you noticed any patterns of where you think and what you feel in the conversations that you have with your partner and spouse, your friends, your family, your coworkers or whatever your daily routine looks like? And when you start practicing gratitude, see how your awareness changes, see how your feelings change. Awareness is the key, and this is why I say it's this all-encompassing tool, because when you expand your awareness, you expand you and you have the opportunity for growth to change it. I want you to focus your thoughts on what it is that you want versus what you don't want, because every single person that I know right now that has not been in my energy, that I have not talked to on a personal level, tells me about how they wake up. They do their daily routine eat, sleep, repeat. Yes, your workday may be different based off of your job. Maybe it's the exact same mundane day, but interactions with people may be different conversations, but you're left feeling the same feelings every single day. So I want to be able to get you focusing on what it is that you want and making decisions based off of you already having that. So I have clients that I have right now that it is really hard to talk about baby showers. It is really hard to think about their end result because of a lot of emotional impacts that they've been on. So we're working together, we are building their ladder of belief and each time we talk, I see the growth in them, I see their heart sparkling. I see them opening up to the possibility of getting to where it is that they want to be, where they can hold the image of them and their desired family. I'm saying this with the utmost amount of love, because I know every fertility journey is so different, but I want you to build your ladder of belief so that you can get there and make decisions. If finances take a play, live in your imagination that much more. But I mean, like, buy an outfit for bringing a baby or baby's home. That is an action that signifies the universe. You know that you're bringing your baby home. If you can't do that, build an online registry. You can make it private, so it's just for you. Create a vision board, do things that you can do. But when you're doing that vision board, I want you to feel the feeling of what it would be like at your baby shower, if that's something that you would like to do, or you buying a stroller or a crib or cribs, or designing your nursery. I want you to do things where you are in a place of excitedness, because, whether you're pregnant right now or you're gearing up for you know, a cycle, to start cycle monitoring and have an implantation soon, I want you to build your dream nursery, so I want you to go on Pinterest or Google or wherever you want to go on, but start looking at things and get excited and feel excited All of those things you can do for free, that don't cost any money. But that is an action towards your goal and that's making a decision. Like I know that this is going to happen. I want you to start thinking about your first family vacation, whether it's a staycation or whether you travel somewhere, or think about your first family holiday or your first birthday with your baby. I want you to think of those things and I want you to live in detail. And that is all part of your imagination. So go listen to the imagination episode. But I really want you to start making decisions based off of the end result and the way that you desire. Don't make your decisions based off of fear. And again, that is your awareness. When you become aware that this question that was just asked to you from your doctor or your fertility nurse, or from your spouse or family member, sit with it for a minute how does that really make you feel? Do you feel anxious? Do you feel fear? Do you feel anger? What emotions are you feeling and what decision can you make that feels right for you and your body and your partner? So if you are making a decision, you're gearing up for your implantation and you're making decisions saying I would really like to do this, but I'm going to do this because this is what makes sense for us right now. If it makes sense for you right now, then please do it. But I want you to become aware. Are you making a decision based out of fear? Are you making a decision based off of logically? This would probably be the next best step With Sandy Gallagher. She is an instructor at the Proctor Gallagher Institute. She worked very closely with Bob Proctor. She always talked about doing the illogical. When I first heard that I did not understand that. I was like what the hell does that even mean? But she talked about how our logical mind always steps in first and like we should probably do this and then this and logically, that just makes sense. Do the illogical, because the illogical can mostly collapse time. You're doing what your heart desires versus the next step. I want you to become aware and once you become aware, your world really does change. It really does change because you can ask yourself. Do I want to sit in this emotion? Do I want to sit in this feeling? Do I want to hold this belief that the universe is out to get me? Do I want to hold the belief that I'm never going to be a mom? Do I want to hold the belief that this fucking fertility journey is so fucking difficult? Excuse my F-bombs, but I am in so many fertility groups and I just see this day to day where people make decisions and I get it. I've understood it. I've been there and in no way, shape or form, am I comparing my fertility journey to yours. But I see where you operate and I want you to be able to operate where you are and I don't want you to hold the belief that this is so hard and this is so unfair. If you can change your belief to the right divine timing instead of, this is not fair. I can't take away your grief and my heart really, really hurts for you. Please know my heart hurts for you. I don't think it's fair that anyone is ever on a fertility journey. I don't think it's fair that we have to go through miscarriages and loss, but I did start holding a belief that my body knows more than I ever will, and there's a reason that my embryos didn't come home. That didn't make it to a full pregnancy, a full term pregnancy. When I lost all of my embryos before I had my secondary egg retrieval, I grieved, but then I turned that grief into a beautiful thing. For those two weeks, or those six weeks or however long my pregnancy was, I loved those embryos. I loved them. There was so much hope and so much filled love. That was filled in those two weeks. So I flipped my perspective. I blessed and released. It. Was any of that fair? No, but I was able, because of my awareness, to flip the perspective and say that yes, I can't change that this happened to me and my husband. I can't change that this happened to me. But I can flip the perspective that my body knew more than I ever will and that those embryos were so loved. They were so loved and wanted. And I hope and I wish more than anything you can do the same and I believe that you can all do the same if you're willing to. But this is why awareness is so beautiful. Awareness is so beautiful because the more you become aware, the more you grow, the more you expand and the more. You can make decisions based off of the frequency where everything exists. You can see your vibrations and when it's low, you can even bring it up to neutral. If you can't bring it up to a higher vibration, you can become aware of your beliefs and change them so that you are not holding limiting beliefs. You can change your beliefs while you're going through grief. It's okay to have joy too, it is okay to be happy too, and whatever belief you are holding that's not serving you. I want you to be able to let that go. I don't want you to hold to believe that something in your past is getting you to where you are now. And if you could have did that differently. No, you didn't know this information till right now. So, anything before this moment, give yourself love and grace, because now that you have this information, now you can tune in your awareness. Now you can understand your thoughts and patterns. Now you can do things differently and make things better. You attracted this podcast, this episode. You yourself attracted this information because you're yearning for more. You want more. I am sending you the utmost amount of love that I can possibly send, because every single person deserves to have the love and life and family that they desire. And I'm telling you, it starts with your awareness. It is really the key. I will say feelings are the secret, because feelings are the secret. But when you become aware, you become aware of those feelings, you become aware of where you were operating and that's how you change things. So start reflecting every night when you're winding down for the night. I want you to reflect. I want you to reflect and start to see these patterns and start to uncover things so that you can change them, so you can be the best version of you, that you can go into your fertility appointments with confidence, not fear, not triggers, not grief. I want you to go in and operate differently. I want you to know and hold the belief that you are meant to have the family that you desire. I don't want you going into your appointments just saying I hope. I hope more than anything someday that this could be. Hope is the first step, absolutely, but it's your faith in your beliefs that will change everything. So when you become aware, your awareness grows and you can make decisions differently, you can change your feelings, you can change it all. So I am sending you the most massive amount of love, today and always because I want you to understand your awareness. I want you to ask yourself hard questions, even if it feels really hard. How are you holding? What beliefs are limiting, what beliefs are empowering? How are you feeling? How are you feeling? How are you feeling? Reflect and then, after you've done this for a couple days or a week, I want you to go back and read them. I want you to notice how you felt about different triggers, how you felt about your day, what goes on in a day to day. Just reflect, even if it's just a quick instant thought, like the snap your fingers in and out was their negative thought. Don't hold judgment against yourself. Literally, just see how your day went, what was good, what was bad. It was just okay, so much so that you don't even have to think that it's even worth journaling about. But I really want you to reflect, from the moment you wake up to the moment you're sitting down, to do your reflection and really think and start to uncover the patterns. Expand your awareness, expand where your thoughts are, expand where your beliefs are, expand where you're making your decisions from. Know that you have the ability to change everything in your world. You have the ability to tune into the frequency where everything desires where your desires are and how you can make decisions based from that result, versus making decisions out of your bank account right now that says I don't have money to do this, or I have money but do I want to spend it on this because there's no guarantee. I want you to make decisions from your end result. I want you to have faith over fear. I want you to have love and gratitude over all the other emotions that aren't serving you. I am not trying to chalk up that your fertility journey has not been hard or all the emotions that you've gone through. I just want you to be able to bless and release what you've gone through thus far and start gearing up for something beautiful. I want you to start gearing up for something so beautiful because you can use this in every area of your life and you can use this only for your fertility journey, if that's how you want to start. Anything that you're doing right now is starting to build and climb that ladder of belief to get you to where you are. I am sending you so much love and light today. Have a great day. If you found this helpful or know anyone that needs to hear this, please share it and don't forget to leave a review and subscribe. In love and gratitude, jessica.